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Gabriella Jun 2018
I'm always excited to see a cake
When I walk into a room.
But the thing about this pastry
Is that I don't think it's very good.
I grab the plate with this sugary delight
And begin to dig in until
I realize
Once again
That cake is almost always not what I wanted;
There's too much frosting,
The flavor is nonexistent,
Too crumbly and dry.
I've began to realize that
It's not the cake I'm excited for,
It's whatever is going on that I am happy about.
If there is cake, then that means there's an event.
And I'm happy about the event.
The cake is a mere distraction.
nick armbrister Apr 2018
On Camera

My life is like a movie

Seeing that replica Mustang roll in and crash at the airshow

My life is like a movie
Witnessing an ex dealer who'd just been shot in his home

My life is like a movie

Viewing Oldham riots on TV that were five minutes away

My life is like a movie

Gazing down upon Manila Bay at the enduring sunrise from Bataan

My life is like a movie

Observing different people and cultures in a dozen countries

My life is like a movie

Glancing at my thigh as the tattooist inks my goth girl tattoo

My life is like a movie

Noticing the Mancunian drunks fighting on the nightbus home

My life is like a movie

Gaping in desolation at the coffin that contains my mum

My life is like a movie

Watching the mad Irish man loop the Grumman Duck in Murphy's Law

My life is like a movie

Admiring the **** girls I've nailed in the big bakery

My life is like a movie

Scrutinizing the Asians to see if they'll try to assault me


My life is like a movie
Eyeballing my soon to be ex friend who's kissing my girlfriend
My life is like a movie
Focusing on the road ahead as I illegally race the other car
My life is like a movie
Staring at the men lying by the kerb wondering are they dead?
My life is like a movie
Studying the vertical cliff above me to find a way up
My life is like a movie
Peering into the sky to find my dad's ghost that's up there
My life is like a movie
Scanning at my wage slip to see if my pay will cover my beer and bills
My life is like a movie
Regarding my mate who just vomited up his kebab and chips
My life is like a movie
Glimpsing the chavs fighting the teenage couple over the river
My life is like a movie
Right till my last breath and final vision when my Goddess takes me home
nick armbrister Apr 2018
Nailed Indeed

These things in my head

Oh how they torment me


Feel like I'm flying in a biplane

Made of rags and wood and wire

Trying to dodge weapons that will **** me


The Red China hypersonic glide bombs

Neo Soviet Satan 2 ICBMs

Solid state lasers

Exotic alloy rail guns


All this and more aims for me

To nail me and my small plane

If I dodge one the next is there

It's a matter of time before I fall

And in real life...


...the list is there

And it will bite me

My father ill in hospital

Then his ultimate end


My relationship ending

Due to my deeds

Whatever they maybe

My own war within myself

For paltry reasons


And other things

I'm not even aware of

All these will nail me

If only I had a plane...
Umi Apr 2018
All present in the stream of time,
Connected they build a line, a river which flows uninterruptedly,
The here and now, is the future of a pasts dream, a wonderous reality,
It is the futures past, the memories recorded within the depths of it
Gravity distorts time, causing it to slow down till it's stopping point lensed from a black hole, lurking within shadows of remorse in space,
Fished out from the sea of passing events, it keeps flowing, but now it does so while not including the fallen one who embraced a blackhole,
Time only knows one path, straight ahead with no slips and turns,
The present is the pasts future and what was thought to be possible,
It is the little wealth every living being possesses yet it is overseen and forgotten, until the moment of ones death drives gladly near,
From the womb to the tomb, drowning within the waves of a temporal lengh, the event of an entity's existence and its period.
A pace for an allotment, given from the complaints of an worldly life,
Spend it well, unlike the spring we cannot turn the tide, recycle again!
But for that matter the world of dreams holds a sweet embrace to all,
After all, you don't need to die in a dream.

~ Umi
Life is
As the sea with
Events, and matters, and
Times and circumstances that come
In waves...

Unless
We be flooded.
Overwhelmed by all that
Is heaped ‘pon us. And crushed by the
Vast tides.

He lets
Them come in waves
That we should not be swept
Into oblivion. What great
Mercy.
nick armbrister Mar 2018
Why do I feel like this?

Inside of me deep within.

A tempest of emotions and thoughts and feelings.

A real wind blown cliche.

Leaving me teary eyed.

Wpiping tears away when no one sees.

Thinking of my life.

How things could be different.

What I should've done different.

Or not done at all.

Oh the list is long.

As is my list of woes.

If I could redo it all, I would.

And be the person my mum wanted me to be.

And the person I wanted to be too.

But now it's far too late.
I must live with what's inside.

Deal with the choices I've made.

And accept me for me.

And those about me.

For who they really are.

I still push everyone away.

And make sure my walls are big and strong.

Just like I think YOU do.

I know I'm wrong, mostly.

But one time I was right.

Yet I never knew which time.

Forgive me or hate me.

It's up to you.

I am me.

And I am you.
nick armbrister Feb 2018
Events and Time

I guess my feelings don’t really matter, that I don’t need anyone by my side when I’m down or upset or depressed. Don’t you know I’m just like anyone else? Though I’m different I’m just the same inside don’t you see? Do you know how hard it is to live alone and not have anyone to care for you? And when I meet someone who I thought was special, to let her in and trust her and slowly show her my world, bit by awkward bit.

Like when I met Anya in the pub we got on so well, she wore the same religious symbol as me, a pentagram, carried the same ink on her skin, tattoos and likes the same music, alternative. We had two weeks of fun, ending my 13months of being alone. Too fast she said, Nick, you’re moving way too fast, now it’s over. In the gulf of her silence I was so affected but I knew the truth.

When I heard the gunshots and saw a man dying I wanted Anya to be there for me, I was alone. Saw evil on my own streets, not wanting to be there and a witness to such random horrific events. Silly little boys armed with 9mm pistols thinking they’re something selling drugs and being in gangs, will they ever learn? They should have heard the widow’s screams. Oh that would teach them.

My life will move on, very different now. Anya taught me to not let anyone in though I’m still her friend and don’t hate her. After seeing the ****** I promised never to hate again or to carry a weapon, not even defensive. Sometimes events happen and come together, that week for me was like no other. It was all an awful fairytale with wicked people and tragedy beyond belief. And still I wrote and did my open mic readings; life must go on even in darkness, an illusion smoke and mirrors.

Still I ask who will be there for me when silent screams wake me in the deep of night. Will I forget what I saw? Will anyone ever find me, my soulmate does she exist??
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