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Salivary slick coats the fist,
varnishing a flesh mitt.

Gnawing kicks up a flesh sheet,
which proclaims bare knuckle under the abrasion.

And as thin water cuts through slobber,
it is washing away the guilt and fodder.

The fist as a righteous conviction which disputes the gull;

does the guilt come up along with and in the fodder?

With a vice that is infinitely vindicating
I wash my hands of it.
Russell's sign is an indicator of bulimia. It refers to a patient who has visible abrasions on their knuckles from self induced vomiting. These are caused by recurrent friction between the fist and incisors (teeth).
alex Jun 27
The most beautiful humans
struck by young fame
graced and haunted
by societies expectations.

Not too fat,
but not too skinny,
Not so flat
and always pretty.

Are they
mannequins in motion?
or people—
the industry doesn’t know

They throw
sticks and stones
turning them
to skin and bones

Their tears
could drown cities—
full of hunger
and pain—
but they stay silent.

Because they must.
“You must be seen,
and not heard.”
Just walk now,
and look pretty.

Goddesses bound by heels
bleeding behind blush ..
They are told to glow now
but one day they’ll burn
john Apr 25
i feel like i wanna cry,
every time i step outside.

this happens for weeks and months,
for the years i still live in.

i hate the way i feel about myself.

i hate the way my body looks,
i hate the way my face looks,
i hate the way im weak,
i just hate it.

my stomach hurts.

i feel exposed in my own clothes,
that it makes me wanna curl up,
on the bed or the floor,
just to never show myself again.
Arii Apr 18
Is it my fault
That I look at someone
And feel repulsed
By the way their
Body flows?
That I can’t look at anyone
And not rip
And pick apart
Every little flaw they have;
A crooked smile,
Lopsided eyes,
A tilted nose,
Hairy limbs,
Flaky skin,
Tilted lips,
An asymmetrical face,
A too-big forehead,
Puffy cheeks,
A bloated stomach,
Humongous thighs,
Giant arms,
A wide frame,
Bushy eyebrows,
Monkey ears,
Uneven feet,
Messed up hands,
A normality in a flawed creation
Yet it’s all that catches my eyes
When I look at
People in the lifts,
In the shops,
On the street,
In the corridors,
In a home,
In a room,
In the mirror.
“Wrong! Wrong!” My brain screams
In terror
It’s right, I suppose,
That monster in the reflection must be
The consequences of an
Error.
Arii Mar 14
My reflection
stares back at me

Water feels how
Soap tastes in my mouth,
Like a pile of worms
in my ears

My reflection ripples
in the surface
Of the clear liquid
My features warp like
A portal
Wrinkled fabric on a table

It feels like my face is
really twisting
Into this broken
deformed
mutated
Monster.

I hate that image

God, I wish it’d
disappear

for once
Kat M Feb 14
You have to eat to lose weight you know
It all seems so illogical, feels so illogical
I just want to go to my stomach and pull
Away every morsel until there’s nothing left

Until my body is forced to feed on itself
Gnawing at the fat reserves I know are there
The ones I see staring back at me in the mirror
The ones I know are lurking in between

Hidden crevices I can feel with each fiber
Of muscles intent on movement
And that is where the problem lies, the muscles
My body will be unsatisfied with just the taste of fat

Whatever it can get its grimy taste buds on
Is what it wants– is what it shall have
Until the mirror says I am satisfying enough
Until I open it back up for one more measly molecule

That's when it tricks you and plasters you with fat
A shiny new coat to thicken you back up
Just in case I might starve again
Just in case it needs to lick its insides again
Feedback Welcome!
Solace Feb 3
all night my sister
retches in the toilet
a bug crawls around my own stomach
nothing like hers
i sneak into the kitchen
drink madly from her cup
and swallow her half-chewed food.

god i hope i get it.

those 3 middle schoolers got salmonella
from the kebab place down the street
now
no one ever wants to go i understand
but i
stop by as often as i can.

god i hope i get it.

i only ever see her going into or out of the bathroom
eyes welled, teeth yellow, lunch bag empty
i reach inside my throat
i want to be
like her
but tears leak and ***** doesn't.

god i hope i get it.

last night i finally did. i
shoveled food into my mouth, unable to stop until
my vision blurred and when i
knelt down and watched
murky colors mix with the ceramic reflection
i just felt deceived
the bug was still within me
crawling, creeping, ceaseless torture
unwilling to ever leave.

god i hope i lose it.
if mom wasn't on the other line
i would join those intoxicated, bubbling laughters
and puke my way into freedom
--more liquid than not.
why must we be
limited
by this creature
we call home?

why do we have to
settle for what
this can do?

why must we go through
so
much
to feel happy?

why do we have to
exist
at all?

why can't we just
go and live
in our dreams?

why do we have to
wake up?

why can't we keep
dreaming?
body dysphoria getting worse :)
fermented ideas Dec 2024
I don’t mean to undermine your confusion
I don’t know how it feels like when your body is not your body
Every morning when you wake up
Do you feel something is lost or mismatched?
Do you walk towards the mirror and scream in anguish?
“Something is lost, but it was never there in the first place!”
Do you tell people “this is me, but it isn’t me”
You walk through every aisle, looking for an item that fits you
But how do you know what fits, when you have no idea of you
I so want to understand
I want to ask you abcde but worried you might see it as wxyz
I am ill for the third time this month
Not sure if its caused by the heat or the curiosities
for those who feel confused
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