Whenever I look in the mirror,
I see Frankenstein’s Monster.
Where am I ?
Dissociated somewhere,
but hell,
even I couldn’t tell you where.

My eyes are no window to the soul
because my human vessel lost it’s soul
a long time ago
I found it,
shattered in the depths of my mind
in so many pieces,
I can never be whole again.

But is that what I want? Or
what society wants me to do?
to pass as a human,
to pass as a man.
Is that who I truly am?

So caught in the webs of preconceived
notions I’ve been fed all my life:
You are not a boy.
You will never be a real man

Well, *******!

I am untangling myself from this web,
leaving the toxicity behind,
surrounding myself with
the sunshine I deserve.

You can judge me all you want
Just know;
I am the one who is truly free.

i fear what is true
and find comfort in the folds of reality.
lurking between material and abstract,
i find your outstretched hand.
pull me back into your world
and teach me to love.

Explore my labyrinthian corridors,
From the walls to the hallways, to the unkempt floors.

'Tis in my mind I finally realize,
I have not the time to explore each and every door,

Precious, singular thoughts,
Expectedly drowning,
but in due course,
We are lost at sea in an ocean devoid,

emptied by the mindless wars.

Shhh
I can hear you thinking
Screaming in your head
Wishing you were someone else
Wishing you were dead

Shhhhh
I can hear your heart pounding
Faster, harder than it should
I can see it in your eyes
How you feel misunderstood

Shhh
It'll be ok, I promise
No more tears, no more fears
But right now I need the silence
I cant think past my own bleeding ears

if my body rots from the inside out am i still me?
if my feelings don't reach even the mouth that speaks
when i fall and my "self" finally ceases to be
is that still me?

always talking about this and that
saying you're going to die tonight.
promising myself respite in this manner is
a privilege i no longer have.

i have no "self" but nobody else can see
calling me a "human being"
covering my mouth to muffle my speech
become separate from me, please.

you told me to give up on being a person
because i have no memories, because i've forgotten everything
if i go on in this manner, forgetting everything
am i not a person any more than you?

if this body cries and withers away
if this voice becomes quiet and ceases to breathe
if this eye closes and does not see
is that still me?

in crowded rooms
and narrow halls
i've never felt
like i belong

i stare off
into the midst
of chattering people
that still feel bliss

i can't see
i can't hear
they tap my shoulder
but i'm no longer here

because it's dark now
i know you're gone
but i was right
and you were wrong

there is no place for me
there is no home
that's why i
should be alone

The tide rushes over her body,
and I feel it.
She starts to sink and suction
into wet sand, and
I feel it.
Anchored in,
barely breathing, but
I feel it
all.

Finally.

More than a bargain, it cost me more
But now my brains scattered on tour
Of every moment and place I hit the floor
No catharsis every stops been a chore

But I'm still looking to travel some more
Tonight my face hits the floor once again
I'm traveling through life on a tour
Feels like my body is the bus for my brain

I'm looking out the window as life happens to me
Sight-see mountains high and valleys low
Where the crows fly is where I'll be
The journey is slow and even though its all I know

A empty spot resides of another way to go
So another way is where I'll go
Till I crash and my body's all over the floor
And I 'll get up and look for more