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CL Fjell May 2019
Sorrow grips at my mind,
Yells at me
Kills me slowly
Until all hope is gone
So why do I keep going
How do I keep going
When all hope is gone
Am I even me anymore?
Leave me alone
freddi May 2019
Don’t wipe the sleep from my eyes
Let me phase through the day
In a spearmint haze
Unfocused and unaffected
Lost within the loaves of thoughts
That rise and form forests around me
Cotton clouds on my eyes
“Oh I didn’t notice”
Starch stuffs my ears
“What’d you say?”
Blankets bathe my skin
But sometimes I just ignore
Leave me here
Where I’m comfortable and unbothered
I’m sleepy and thus saved
V May 2019
I feel like an invader in my skin,
Show me,
Help me,
To own it once again.
Been more and dissociative lately,
I hate the feeling of being able to look into a mirror, and not see yourself,
Or never feel at home inside your own skin.
CL Fjell May 2019
Living the life I'm not
Watching the world unfold
A passenger on the journey
To a magical land I call--
Nowhere

Since the day I left
I've never fully returned
Only pieces of who I thought I was
Slowly drifting away from
Who I really am.

When will I find where my ghost is heading?
Days?
Years?
Eons?
Or am I already here, maybe the
Journey ended when I found
I'm not who I really am.
Outside of myself
misha Apr 2019
It is sweet to look up at the moon at night,
and know that she sings me a song.
In every moment that I take to pay attention,
to be distracted, to become lost.
Perhaps to be someone else.
Floating by on borrowed time.

Try on a different identity,
perhaps one that will be better liked.
Pluck the tail from a falling star,
and wear it, as a crown.
Unfortunately here, there are no stars to be seen.
We tried our best to drown out their light.
With the harsh glare of our own.

And then I found myself floating in space
on a pair of ink stained wings.
Watching myself walking in circles,
around the edge of the black hole.
Never falling in, never pulling away.
Living in perfect stasis, echoed throughout the universe.
Each instance of me, a radiant shadow.

Each instance of me, a masked queen
sprawled on a throne of falling stars.
Watching myself ride the cascade,
but unable to stop the spiral.
Finally- we would cross the event horizon.
Finally- we would be plunged across existence.
Finally- we would be able to feel the rain.

The sweet rain, that now soaks through my clothes.
It must have been an hour, maybe two.
Someone is probably looking for me,
but which instance of me are they interested in?
The one who watches from afar?
Or any of the other echoes.
Because I could fracture again, at a moment’s notice.

With a blink, the streetlights turn off,
leaving me bathing in twilight.
As the sun struggles to rise for they day,
I notice the last note of the last morning star.
And I can focus again.
Even the sun and the stars
are a little like me.
Meggie Delaney Apr 2019
Sometimes there's something jarringly disparate About the fresh sea salt fog and the beauty queen moon of the Monterey wharf.

Sometimes you need the painfully cold sludge of a Cleveland street with no sidewalks and the crying skeletons of trees to match your black coffee soul.
Feedback is always appreciated! Thank you!
Meggie Delaney Apr 2019
I feel as though
I've been letting red wine pass through my lips
Tasting only it's bitterness and none of it's beautiful numb

I've been crunching on cardboard that I've mistaken for holy
communion
And everyone else is too ashamed for my sake to call me a fool

I've been in a fevered, drugged up half dream, unable to escape the waking world and never having touched a pill

My whole perception is teetering and careening
Seasick between inability to escape, and everything feeling unnervingly too real

But nothing is beautiful in this fairy land.
Feedback is always appreciated! Thank you!
Hello Daisies Apr 2019
Numb deep within
Can't feel my feet
Up to my heart
Do i exist?

Anytime i feel
It hurts
Everyrhing races
i am afriad

I can't remeber
Ever belonging
Not in a social sense
Or being real

I get too tired
I feel as a child
Seeing monsters
Giant man eating
Lobsters
Demons running amok
Every breath of mine is bad
Luck

I swear to god
I belong in a mental institute
Im not real
Are you?

I'm alone
Ive been alone forever
And ever more
I'll be alone

My life is flashing
It's all been so quick
And I've hated every second
Of my breathing

I miss my mother
I miss my brothers
My whole family
I think played a big whammy
They must be fake too
My scared eyes sometimes see
Through

Theres a veil you see
Doctors say it's anxiety
Thats a lie to keep me busy
We aren't real

I'm so scared
I can't describe this fear
It never leaves me
I'm shivering and afraid
The monsters coming to consume me

Look hard enough
You'll see real mosnters
Slenderman and demons
Theyre all real
Mocking us

Im still a little girl
Sad and afriad of the world
All i see is fear and creatures
Lurking with no ****** features
No one will hold me
My soul is ******* empty

Is god real
Why won't he answer me
He probabaly is around
And ignoring me
That is the theme of my
Reality

Can someone just hold me
Let me forget my dark reality
Im so ******* afraid
I must be extremely brave
I see demons larger then i can comprehend
Yet i go out and still stand

If someone held me
And didn't leave
Maybe for ahwile
I would feel real
And not as a scared
Child
I get exhausted and dossociate from realoty
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