Not a seat is left here
For your gentle grief
The ritual started a breath ago
And has not tired since
Not a glass is empty,
Not a plate unused

Now meet him in the quiet shadows
Of the garden humming
Itself to sleep
Now dance on with the beetles
You two,
For the hall in here is full

Not a gossip chirps the name
Of your long loyal lover
Not a searching glance
Birthed for him

Here, the ladies sparkle around
And spices giggle on tongues
Here, kings now stumble on their crowns
And goddesses
Painted on windows
Smile the lambs once killed for chastity
In their altars

Did I not warn you, beloved?
Did I not open the moon up
Vessel by vessel
And weave a castle out it all
Did I not surrender?
Spared a throne for him, I did
and a thousand ones for you
in my bleak little hall

I watch you sneak out into the night
Pearls kissing your cheeks,
And teasing your lips
Slipping down that slender neck
Shining a dawn
in the fading lights
Oh, how I envy
the silliest of things!

Precarious dresses
And grasses smothered
Beneath flushed soles

Oh, how I wait and wait
In the hall I slaughtered to silence
For your peace
The stars I invited, drunk on boredom
And sunlit teas
Warm no more
Oh, how I wait, I wait
My breaths away!

Not a dove dares mimic the grace
Of your beautiful grief
Not a moth dares look

You swirl about his finger
And the world does
About you

I sewed myself a dress
Made it prettier than spring
Oh, the laces hiss like golden snakes
And winter sits, a heavy shroud
Did you not prefer frozen lakes over
Golden flowers?
Why then, why then—

And as the dreamy plants
Whisper soft verses to your dress
You sigh happiness in his
Melancholy embrace
Oh, I know,
Not a shadow is left here
For me to blend in

How I wish I were him
your sweet, gentle grief
Oh, how I wish
I were a nameless goddess
Buried in the glass window of a rotten hall
Swaying to the sounds
Of your laughs

1.
… from now on, a reshuffling of diction,
word-acrobatics, perspectives gleaming
with thought: somebody built an orange tree
against the other things around it, to devour
boiled eggs in the porcelain hand of a plate,
the convulsions of the world can only go
a short length, it’s a matter of …

… regression, like tumbling downstream
over the backs of boulders …  

2.
… near the end of his journey the man’s voice,
as dull as ashes, a cracked seed ready to burst,
declining through the dark, a short distance
to a wintry end: traveling alone to the bottom,
sound of his dusty age drawing in the earth
lying at the edge of bones: today, the light,
tomorrow the ledge: think lightning fast …

… his affliction is not pain but death: cold
at his feet, like frail children ...

3.
… even in the icy spring of March, your eyes
were the stars melting lingering snow: we lay
buried in the warm blood of naked bodies, like
refugees in a new land, and the wind that did
not reach us, and the ice that could not find us:
outside, the silent streets could hear thunder
beneath our blanket …

… ask me where she is, the one who ignored
my heart, who was gone by summer ...

======================================

from my unpublished manuscript: Fragmented

©dah / dahlusion 2019 all rights reserved

first published in Record Magazine

1.
the architecture of waves, pelicans in adagio
but a tempo slower, the silver-colored fish, streaks
of light, like conversations out of reach, counting
waves, the soft and hard ones …

the sun-reflected surface makes me sleepy
as if a hypnotist at work: my thoughts resisting
this sleep that feels like the final dust of
existence …

starfish ******* the life out of clams,
the weight of the ocean …

2.
the frail branches of an old tree, an old woman
an old dog, a city that’s outbuilding itself, straight
up from Hell, straight into the atmosphere, across
the sky, across the universe …

at sunset, the challenge the sun has to stay alive,
as if a magician at work: darkness falls, like the dead
flame of life, several seconds pass, then several more,
I collect the darkness …

time flies, like a harbinger of bad news, like
an awkward simile that needs explaining …

3.
of all of my loves, of those who were actually
lovers, either married or single, you were the one
who drew me in, against our will, both hearts fell,
bodies withered and ****** …

at sunrise everything reshaped, our bodies felt
alien to each other: nothing has changed but  
the distance between us, always these forbidden
remains …

how our voices grew hoarse, outside it was raining,
everything had rusted …

=========================================

from my unpublished manuscript: Fragmented

©dah / dahlusion 2019 all rights reserved

first published in Fishbowl Poetry, Germany

On the sidewalk standing in the rain
the old man is a wounded dove.
Longish white hair: wet feathers
grounded in a storm. The rain is heavy
and repeats itself, like buckets of water
thrown out of windows.

The old man stands there
holding a memory or a wish.
Under the streetlight
his wet hair glistens like tinfoil.
The downpour is a creature
that’s eating him up.

Darkness projects
from a deserted apartment building.
The ground floor windows and doors
are boarded, nailed shut.
It appears dead, like an old disease,
or stripped, like a despoiled tomb.
Its bricks cracked and crumbled,
wooden casings dry rotted and helpless.
Painted in bold red
across the boarded front entrance,
a graffiti-message: Girls Rule.

Looking back at the old man,
he stands the way a king stands alone
when doubting himself.
Dark crawls around him. The old man stares
at the building. He is motionless,
in memory. Rain gallops over him.

Inside the warmth of a café,
my steaming coffee. Outside, the streets
are laundered clean of everyone
except for the old man who stares
at the apartment building. Time has grown
over his face and body, has grown
over the broken down building.

Now the rain is as heavy as mucus
and with his tiny body
the old man shuffles away into the dark
and gradually disappears
like a casket being covered with earth.

_____________

from my sixth book-length manuscript

©dah / dahlusion 2014 / 2015
all rights reserved

"In Streetlight, His Wet Hair" was first published in
'Switch (the difference) Anthology'
from 'Kind Of A Hurricane Press'

Late spring. Early morning.
Horseflies in my dream,
dissonant church bells, legless pigeons

I wake to the light’s sharp angle
that cuts this day open.
A breeze stretches its wrap

Lying here, dawn is brief
like a banner slowly raised
then dropped abruptly

Rising from bed
I slump
a prisoner waiting for a beating
The chilled air, a sword
stuck into my skin

Through the blinds
a snap of sun
my eyes rollback
colors pop

I stand barefoot
and become the sum
of a legless pigeon
a horsefly’s faint buzz
dissonant bells

I think of my dream
how it called me
inward
closer to the core
a caravan of pine coffins
lined up in the streets
a future template

Suddenly, church bells,

a fly dead on the sill,

a mournful pigeon’s coo.

--------------------------------------------

from my sixth book-length manuscript

©dah / dahlusion 2015
all rights reserved

"Horseflies Pigeons Coffins"
was first published in  'Secrets and Dreams Anthology'
(Kind Of A Hurricane Press)

I am hearing it
winter’s freeze
the tightening of air
water light
a noisy gang of clouds
Snowflakes are feathered stones

In the field
this day builds its frozen bones
A beautiful disaster forms

Submerged in it
I listen for birds  
There is nothing

A moment’s wind
brittles my breath
numbs my ears
I listen for a note
There is nothing

A hush of sleep
tucks into January’s bed
Even the dogs stay inside
to refuse the ice jabs
into their paws

The cold cracks the skin
of my hands
sharpens its blade
slices deeper

At the edge of the field
I stand in stillness
an ice-covered statue
waiting for the company of pigeons

____________

©dah / dahlusion 2014
all rights reserved

"January" was first published in 'The Canon's Mouth' (UK)

Editor: Greg ***

Perhaps the doors to our dreams
space   time   rambling mind
hang on cosmic hinges
restless hinges    aching hinges
in need of   hemp   *****   or fine wine

Unmoved by being in my dream
she walked barefoot over my breath
speaking languages
from a trillion universes
unknown to me

I heard her   I called to her
I listened   and her voice
spoke to me   one word
slowly   one word at a time

Her face near my memory
her kisses   her body   our whisperings
I held my hands out   they disappeared
a lonely finger remained   pointing

Perhaps the portals to our dreams
are hungry mouths stuck open
endlessly whimpering to be nurtured

I watched her laughing and crying
at the threshold of my tenderness   crying
slippery tears   severe tears   unreal tears
tears like smoke rings   tears like crystals
tears like rain the roses love

Gently   she lifted a red rose
to my mouth
it lived in ecstasy  
on my tongue

O Love   love   love
daylight is near
and dreams will fade
like one moist blossom after another

————————————————————
From my third book: 'If You Have One Moment'
(Stillpoint Books, 2015)

©dah / Stillpoint Books 2015
all rights reserved