My father's voice
Is quite like a canyon:
deep, rocky, and beautiful.

My father's voice
Is much like a desert:
dry, windy, and darkly colorful.

My father's voice
Is just like the ocean:
blue, misty, and black in it's reaches.

My father's voice
would be ever more pleasing
If he would just shut up.

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
Your eyes were bright blue and your hair wispy curls
We had guessed what you’d look like and then out you came
Our perfect baby exactly as planned.

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
And look at you now you’re incredibly bright
You work till exhaustion and that we admire
You’re seemingly perfect at all that you do

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
If only your brother would follow your lead
We just want him to have your motivation
How do you think we should help him succeed?

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
If only I had that body of yours
If only I had those arms and that stomach
But I could never be as perfect as you.

Since the day you were born we knew you were perfect
Why do you insist that you aren't my dear?
We all get upset but no you aren’t sick love
You are too perfect to hate yourself.

You are too perfect to see any faults
You are too perfect to cry to sleep.
Your life is perfect.
We knew you were perfect.
So be perfect for me dear, and go dry those eyes.

righteousness
care
siblings

mom
dad
son
wife

eden

like the wind you came

grew up not knowing that there's a piece of you hidden at every corner
a silence played over your last breath
with them standing at the foot of your body
the trees kept growing without you
at some point, they were taken down
just like that birdhouse you built
just like the family you put together
and I kept growing
without you
they took you out stepping on dirt spelling jealousy right at the gate
the whole world came out to see
and for 18 years it felt like everybody knew but me

rooftops in the big city hold your name between their bricks
your shadow imprinted where you last stood
I am  living proof of your existence here
the last thing you left behind
your stone is nowhere to be kissed and visited
send me a postcard with your best wishes
know I am here and that you're not forgotten
and maybe one day I will come to visit
maybe one day your brother will fill the hours with stories of you
maybe one day she will tell me how sorry she is
but for now
know you're in my heart
and please keep me in your still one

like the wind you left

Eminem. He reminds me of you. Both of y’all ruined your lives at one point, both beat up on the mother of your kids, both neglected your kids at some point, let drugs take over your lives. So many other things you have in common too. But just a few differences; one of you has talent, one of you made a life for yourself, one of you did all the things and regretted that his kids saw it all, one of you I like and look up to. I’ll give you a hint, it ain’t you.
But I started thinking. I love Eminem so much, he is awesome and amazing. Why do I like him so much but I don’t like you? He is rapping his heart out about beating on the mama of his children… and I rap along. I rap along rapping my heart out with the lyrics of his songs. How come I copy his words and not yours? Interesting isn’t it?
I was laying in my bed a few days ago, and I just got done watching Ant-Man. I love Marvel, did you know that? No, OFCOURSE you didn’t. Why? Because you don’t bother to ask. Ever. Maybe I would have a little more respect for you if you did ask. When was the last time you asked me personally what I liked? Marvel, I like Marvel. Ant-Man in particular. Do you know about Ant-Man? Well here is the important parts I am getting at, he went to prison, for stealing a huge amount of money so he can provide for his daughter. People blame the bad guy, but do they ever get to the root of the problem? No.
Do you know what Ant-Man, you and Eminem have in common? You all have a daughter you try to provide for, and you all took the wrong ways. That is what I at least want to believe why you broke probation, for us. Doubt it, probably for drugs. But you know what Eminem and Ant-Man have in common that you don’t? They told the truth to their daughter’s faces about what they did. Eminem is not afraid to tell the world about what he did. Ant-Man is not real, so I can’t compare you to him. Eminem is real. You may be thinking “but he is famous you can’t compare me to him either”, but guess what? He started from dirt and he ended up where he is today.
His mom did nothing for him, I don’t even think he talked about having a dad providing for him. You know what you had? A mom, and a dad. Who put a roof over your head. His mom made him drop out of school to help provide for the home or move out.
You know what is really funny? Why do I know so much about Eminem then I do about my own father? I don’t even know who you are… All I know about you is you have a criminal record, you are somewhere in the southern part of the U.S, and your name is Richard David Lowe. You know that I had to find out your middle name by asking momma. The only thing that I kept holding on to that I knew you liked was Eminem. I remember traveling a long way to see you and then I was SO excited to tell you that I listened to Eminem, Mocking Bird to be exact. Do you remember that?
So, I look up to Eminem, because he is honest… You have so many similarities, but one huge difference. He told the truth…

Then I thought of you on my wedding day,
This love that once sprouted out like a bud,
I will shout out this generation is for you dad,
The best to lay, the best way, the best day.

Oh how pleasant it could be for you to witness,
This love that is too much to confess,
Like a dog I fetched far and wild,
What a thing to always hold and be told.

I wonder who will play your part,
Who will cough at that farthest corner,
Just for assurance, I will tell myself you are there,
Who will smile and raise a glass like you?

I wonder what it meant to you when I first held that hammer,
Or when I first used that square to draw my crooked line,
Or when I helped you up the stairs with your walking stick,
Who gave you the name Nick?
and should I name my son the same?

today marks 8 years
since i heard the news,
6 years since
we started walking askew
and only a few marking
the painful years i put us through-
for i always said sorry
i always said i loved you,
but what i meant was
“please don’t forget me and the words i let loose,
because i don’t know what love is,
i don’t think i ever knew,
because November 22nd,
my dad left the house, my mom left too
to find a comforting bed
in a house brand new
with a new naked body
a new silhouetted view,
and i sat here wondering-
‘They said they loved me,
Does love leave you too!’”







so it doesn’t surprise me that i couldn’t hold up to any pauses
any breaks
any time alone
any detachment
any moment of somber tones
and i clung to you
like you were the last love i’d ever know
like your words were their empty promises
that everything would be ok, that i would like living in 2 homes

- but here i am 8 years later,
thinking that i’m over it all
thinking that i can learn from my past,
but the fear and tears still grip my face
knowing that the lingering hurt will always last-

You do look a little bit older
than you used to

these days;

your youthful visage
a tad thumbed by turning many page:

but despite the so called age process
you still simply merry everything with the fantastic of elan:
oh what a guy,
oh, what a man!