Every since I was born
every since my first christmas
My first birthday
my experience from school
My first love and hate
my life was forever tainted

I look at the mirror to view my skin
the lightest of all brown
I cry in misery and helplessness
I try to scratch the skin out of my bones but it wouldn’t go
I look at my last name and shiver
I look at Santa Claus and wonder
I look at the people around me and I become lost

I dream of them coming
with their ugly wrinkled faces
and their barbaric ways
and ****** the little girls from their innocence
the ones that are my great great grandmothers
laughing and instilling the idea
that they were going to be theirs forever
and till this day they are

I look at T.V to see how they portrayed my sisters
skinny and shaky
poor and sad
but who have stolen from them?
The T.V?
The world inside the T.V?
Or my world?

But  I viewed  the true place of origin
So tropical,fresh, and healthy
civilized and intellectual
dark and beautiful
but this only sadden me more

I feel like throwing up
To regurgitate all my hatred from this wretched place
and when I look for my skin for answers
I simply give up

I’m trap
In this delusional world
Full of people who are lost
who lost their homes
and their skin and life tainted
Till death do us part