It's like a roller coaster
This thing called life
It's raining outside from the dark yawning sky
The yellow streetlamps are all that makes the drops visible
So it looks like the lamps are raining
Light

My heel bone can be felt through
My skin
People shudder at my face but
Sadness isn't a sin
It's more of a thought experiment
A chance to learn

When everything is hinged
and Yellow - Black tinged
You realize you have changed so
And what you thought you would never be
You have suddenly become
Too many cliched words rhyme with 'see'

Like be
Me
Key
Tree
Journey
Free

No white
Is as white
As a memory of whiteness
And so the search for
The deep darkness of a dream
Is a fool's chore
I think someone once said
Every choice is an open door

...centipedes underneath big rocks in the dirt.
...worms on the pavement in the rain.
...rotting roadkill you drove over today.
...maggots writhing inside of dead brains.
...rainbows in great puddles of oil.
...fakest person you'll ever ******* meet.
...weeds and crabgrass polluting the soil.
...reason I hate humanity.
...nightmares preventing your sleep.
...dreams making your knees weak.
...scab you can't stop picking.
...ulcer you can't stop licking.
...spider in the bathroom sink.
...shakes you get if you don't drink.
...doubt whispering inside your mind.
...lies you've been fed all your life.

It doesn’t make sense why I hate myself so much

from the outside, but try to understand;

everything that supposedly makes one stand out

really just makes them blend in somewhere else.

So I can’t sleep and don’t even want to be awake.

I’m here because of that and a lot of ****

I just can’t say out loud. **** it.

**** everything.