The massive plastic rafts get passed on and
loads of new patrons climb aboard,
looking to face a hundred million gallons of white water,
and perhaps find something out there.
Our love has come and gone,
the trip down the Pigeon River behind us,
and we multitudes sorely pack the busses again.
We flop into out shared experience--
a brown leather seat with absolutely no buckles
in case of the end.
We are headed home.
The highway is constant and clear,
and the bus bucks and ebbs and soon
we are convinced it is the mother of us all.
The boy next to me begins to bob his head like a boat at sea
and soon, he capsizes onto my right shoulder.
I don't move, cherishing my place in his
momentary grace;
the calm part of his tumultuous river,
the cigarette to his stooping weathered old man.
Not after a long time,
he shakes awake,
lifts his head and is clearly embarassed.
He doesn't grin or apologize,
just makes small talk, moves slowly forward
down this relational river.
The kids on this bus see a tunnel coming towards us,
and it is subsequently announced.
"Tunnel ahead--everyone hold your breath!"
Everyone gasps as we enter the ground.
It is dark, and I am grateful for this moment,
and I breathe deeply for the first time
a breath not shared.
I was a camp counselor one summer. One boy acted out a lot in order to stand out, garner some attention. That same summer, I had a crisis of identity in myself, while I AND a crisis of relationship to person who would become my spouse. How could I figure out who I was in relation to this person without knowing who I was in relation to myself? This is a poem about a small respite from those feelings.
