long were the nights when i would wait for your messages even after we called things off. now i'm waiting for someone else's and he's been a good distraction from thoughts of you, though of course, i still miss you. i guess it really is easy to get lost in your own world with someone so i have a good feeling that it'll be less difficult moving on from you. but don't worry, i won't put my guard down unless i'm fully healed because you can't fully love someone when you haven't healed from the past and that's what you failed to do when you pursued me, but now i know better. i won't make the same mistakes you did and hurt other people for not loving them the same way they do me.

Keep me around for the rainy days;
When all the others go away,
But you want to stay outside to play

In the midst of the storm, I join you, every time
Gray skies and muddy puddles

We jump in the mud and laugh, Like children,
Oblivious to the mess we’re making,
Unable to see past..

Sometimes I let myself forget…
I just pretend
Close my eyes so I don’t have to watch the sun rise.

Begging you to stay,
But it’s useless
You always leave me the same lonely way

Grab you and trap you so you can’t leave
Drag me into the mud,
Yet you always slip from my reach

With the brightness of the sky,
I know it’s my time

My prime, surpassed;
So I wait until the next storm
For you to come back

I miss you like the earth misses the sun, during the night while the world is hushed in its slumber. I miss you like I miss breathing because I've been holding my breath since our last goodbyes. I used to think time stood still in those moments when our bodies were entangled and our lips embraced eachother in a way that always seemed so familiar. But without you my love time has come to a complete stop. Seconds seem like hours and hours like days without you by my side. The broken pieces of my heart now resemble the sands of time slipping through an hourglass. And yet I still feel the pulsing beat in the voided emptiness left in my chest. I still love you and I always will. I wish I could take the pieces of my broken heart and fill a snow globe just for you so you will never forget the story of how I fell for you.

Your that black
smoke...

Puffing
into the
environment,

Making it
unhealthy.

Your
devilish
way,

Became
a dance with
life and death.

Drowning my
heart in your
BullSh*t.

Your devilish
ways became
a balancing
tight rope,

To not fall
to my demise
of playing russian
Roulette with
my life.

All rights and
Copyright belongs
to ©BSM

2021-8-1

I knew you
needed this
sincere apology
to pull yourself
together

but you
had to be broken

so I could
keep myself
in one piece

Sometimes I feel that it isn't right,
How close we are but yet
So far apart.
There's not a day, a single
solemn minute that goes by
That you don't cross my mind.
I've taken every piece of you &
Hoarded it, for better or worse.
To the point I can barely recognize
which parts are me
& which are you.
These bright and colorful reminders.
I've taken it all.
In walking distance so far from where
we began.
I've taken it all,
& held it tight without question.
On the days I really wanted to see you,
You were numb.
for better or worse.
To the point I can barely recognize
which parts are me
& which are you.
You've stuffed me with long sharp pins,
pressing them deep
Without consideration to how it feels
or how I'd feel.
Not once have I said a word,
In walking distance so far from where
we began.
On the days I really wanted to see you,
which parts are me
& which are you.
There just isn't anymore room,
Those were your words to me

Even after the heartbreak
I wanted to treat your heart like it was my own
The thought of disengaging with you was tormenting
The heart was in a “I want what i want” Mode