The way my name wraps around his mouth
is the same way I've wrapped my mouth
around him, 100 times, probably more, I stopped keeping track.

What do I have to change?
                             everything
          nothing

And we have been down this road, with its curves and twists, at least 100 times, maybe less, I stopped keeping track.

And I fail to squash it every ******* day, but I will never not miss him. Never not hear his laugh in my dreams.

What do I need to work on?
                             everything
            nothing

Happily ever after seems far away.

Three made me sob on my floor until my lungs turned to stone and my wet face leaked down to my chest.
Pried at my ribs and dug in to find what I offered you, what you took so hastily.
In it’s place was something so heavy, so hard and lifeless.
A foreign object in the center of my being
It weighed down all of me, I could feel it creeping through my veins into my arms, legs, fingertips, toes.
It was cold and full of static.
I had to learn how to walk again,
My morning coffee came out stale,
My dinners turned into bottle-caps and buttons as I tried to pierce them with my fork
Eye contact clicked like south and south, north and north.
Did you give her what you took from me?

Where did I go wrong

Have I lost you now
Did you forget our song

Did you forget what it's about

With you I was happy
With you I'm all myself again

I see everything you see

But now you're gone I'm never be the same

Now you go

Now you know

All I know before Just goes to show

How long it takes me to forget you

But I never tend to forget you

Cause it's all too hard

I still want to see you when I past your home

Cause it's all i can find

I lost myself when I lose you

Try to find someone else but they're not you
Kept asking the same question to you

Is there two of you?

So that I can still have you

Sue is baking pretzels on a Thursday afternoon.
Flour on her hands, just like we used to.
Its some familair smell in the air,
Deep warmth that fills a room in the abscense of your laughter.

When I asked you if you thought about old loves,
You said she was a snuggie blanket in the closet.
You said she was a car on the side of the road.

I didn't understand just how far thoughts could wander.
They drive me crazy - traversing time,
Traveling places that this body no longer can,
Conversing with lingering loves in my mind -

"I'm building a travel van like you always wanted to.
I'll be travelling solo, and you won't know
Where I'll go and the things I'll see.
Its just for me.

..but I wish it weren't.
If you had the option, would you go?
If you had the option, would you want to know?"

I will always be wandering, searching for home.
I will always be wondering, wishing to know:

"Do you ever think of me
The way I think of you?"

i wonder if you remember
the presence of me
because i’m constantly reminded
by your faded memory

it lingered in the Sunday laundry
and ghoulishly appeared in a frame
popped up on the car radio
and frightened me all the same

as i packed your things,
it was in a card for my birthday
and eerily in a box of frosted flakes
i guess i never liked them anyway

later, it would quietly permeate
a passing tv commercial for charmin
remember how we used to laugh
i have those memories every now and then

i hope where you are is better
than where we were together

i wonder if you remember
the presence of me
because i was constantly reminded
by your faded memory

'love lasts forever'
yeah, she probably meant it
at the time

You broke her.
She couldn’t go a day without crying.
But it wasn’t because she missed you.
It was because she missed herself.
She didn’t know where she was and it took forever to find her.
You suffocated her, nearly killed her.
But the crack of light she thought was blinding her
became the beckon of hope she never knew she needed.
She crumbled your jagged walls of isolation to the ground
and now nothing can constrain her.
You hate seeing her happy,
but that’s not anything new, is it?
Your weight no longer keeps her beneath you.
She’s always been stronger, better, worth more.
It’s a shame you knew before she did.
She could have avoided you all together.