I lay awake
Cry for their sake
But not on the outside
My tears flow
From the inside
Numb thoughts fill my mind
As I wonder why
Why I cry
When I know
The worst day is behind

Flight
Upon a case
Of pure white
Steps
Spiral for miles
Ultimately through darkness
Away from the boxes
Of all things best forgotten
Trials and tribulations
To occupy time
While feet face more steps
In the perilous climb
To the light
Spillage of gold
From the hole
In the ground
Up into a night
A starry ceiling
Black painted sky
With lights trinkling down
This beautiful wallpaper
Of leaves and time

Your sharp stare
Kills me,
Each time you look

Because I choose to hide
Underneath my smile

And my makeup
That is probably deceiving

But I hope you can see
My eyes can't lie.

They are always searching
Searching
For yours
To meet mine

For they are always wanting more.

When he left, it was never new to you. There was no such thing such as shredding of tears. There was no kaleidoscope of memories. There was no hopes urging you to pull him back. There was no poem written in your notebooks. There was no entry in your diary. There was no wishful thinking while waiting for the wishing stars. There was no such thing like trying to talk to him and discuss what and where did you go wrong, because you knew from the very beginning, everything was wrong.

And then you dated him. You talked about your recent scores in your quizzes while eating ice cream with him. You celebrated your 19th birthday with him, and it was magical, the nicest feeling you never felt for so long. You had long conversations at night with him that you even dared to each other who sleeps first must treat the other. You have shared about the little things that made your day happy. You both have prayed for true love you thought you both once have. You found yourself motivating him through rousing words and so he does the same way to you.You say every single good night every dozing off moments at 2 or 3 am. And while the rest of your family was in dreams, you were there beneath your blankets giggling at his corny jokes while yawning. Your smiles to each other was in utmost real when you bumped each other on the busy hallways at school. When everyone stares at you both because of your weird chemistry, you could not give a **** care at all. You realize you don't want the whole world, just him in it.

And when he left, right after your 19th birthday, it was never new to you. There was no such thing such as shredding of tears. There was no kaleidoscope of memories. There was no hopes urging you to pull him back. There was no poem written in your notebooks. There was no entry in your diary. There was no wishful thinking while waiting for the wishing stars. There was no such thing like trying to talk to him and discuss what and where did you go wrong, because you knew from the very beginning, everything was wrong.

With no throe in your heart, you accepted everything--the way you used to.