We ponder outside,
                        where luminosity is dulled,

but no matter the dullness.

                  The beauty  of our view isn't stagnated.

It's never a good time to change,
because to change I must give up the conformity.

Evolving is like riding
a horse that dips.
All regrets left at the curb,
new routines set in place.
I must choose: the American dream
or giving in to desire.
The ride will be a blurb
if I dare to look back.
I found a path down this maze.
I can feel it in my gut,
the bittersweet taste
of success.

Kiss me.
Afraid.
Inhale,
Become brave.
Stumble,
Go black.
Held up,
Hold back.
Focus,
Exert control.
Soft,
Nice and slow.
Stumble,
Sit down.
Stare
At his face.
Listen
To his goals.
Smile,
Wide and whole.
Feel,
Sense,
And experience.
Connect,
Speak,
Connect,
Speak.
Surrender control,
Stay aware.
Kindness,
Soft hair.
Guiding,
Patient.
Confidence
Over time.
Dominance,
Willing submission.
Exhilarating
Texture,
Taste,
Sounds.
Please,
Be pleased.
Crave,
Fulfill.
Bittersweet,
Pleased.
Finish,
Be here.
Break,
Converse.
Check,
Anxiety.
Sight
Lost to the past.
Pulling,
Bringing me back.
Relocate,
Feeling safe.
Restarting
The pace.
Deep,
Heaving.
Swirl,
Roughly,
Quickening,
Teasing,
Pleasing.
Finish,
Appalled.
Reversal,
Asphyxiation.
Lost,
Feeling everything.
Friction,
Gasps of pleasure.
Move,
Feeling in the walls.
Hard
To be quiet.
Resettle,
Somehow confident.
Place,
Move.
Pain,
Pleasure.
Repetition,
Support.
Control,
Entirely lost.
Resettle,
Pain felt.
Pain
Overwhelms.
Suffocating
Small noise.
Enjoyment,
Do what I'm told.
Resettle,
Feeling alive.
Finish,
Still unfinished.
Mindless,
Proud.
Settle,
Lie down.
Drift
Away.
Feeling
Hope for new things.

I am afraid right now.
I have gotten attached.
I have latched onto him,
And I don't know if he has latched onto me.
Scientifically,
When people do these things,
The women are known to develop romantic connections faster.
Which means he might not feel anything for me,
Than my physicality.
I am afraid he will leave me right after this,
Even though he witnessed a breakdown,
Where I went back in time,
Because someone left me.
Will he hold onto me
Like I hold onto him?
I guess we will see,
But hopefully.
I want to belong to him,
Even if I can't come to love myself.