1. Imagine you’re in an oil painting, hung up by just threads of string
This painting is of a beach, off the coast, sea breeze smells of wet sand
Everything’s magical here, the sky burns brighter and his smile seems more relaxed
Here is where I first met his demon
1. They say “it’s **** when he’s rough.”
So, it’s **** when his fist seems like it’s about to break my nose like glass
Or is it hot when the grip on my arm will be a small
Unnoticeable bruise tomorrow
His lips drip toxins like absolute ***** that I’m forced to drink and
His eyes no longer shine like the oil painted sky,
They look like two pits of blue flames burning down a church.
1. When I was backed into a corner, I pretended the walls were cylindrical
And the corners were curves
Matching the body, he presumed I didn’t want and
“make sure to write your food down.”
1. It was the first time I feared my prince,
Of the one who said “your hand is only fit to hold mine” and
Morphed my brain into a puzzle piece for his game.
2. A time when new beginnings occur
The sky lights up like a child in front of birthday candles and
A midnight kiss starts the year off right.
Another brawl, more angry words,
I told him to get away but his ears must have been deaf since all
He heard was “come here”
2. His nails scratched marks into my skin and
my stomach turned in anguish against his chest
when your angel sheds its wings and
the horns appear, don’t pretend they aren’t there.
2. Fear.
My tears streaked down on my evening look but
His eyes singed them up,
Licking each one like sun flares on Mars
And I found myself curled up in a ball of doubt
2. “it’s over. I’m done. I won’t deal with this anymore”
but I made him this way, I turned his baby blues into
terrible twos that grew into his teens.
I made his smile turn to an upside-down rainbow and his arms
into steel gates.
3. Winter wonderlands, where children play make-believe games and
throw harmless snowball blows.
He, wrestled my arms and bruised my heart,
Snatched it from my chest and gnawed it with barred teeth.
I think, demons come in many shapes and his was icing on a
Birthday cake.
His was the ring on my left hand that curled around my finger like
Barbed wire and held snug like a chain linked dog.
3. think of a mother’s whisper, a dad’s sweet song, imagine the sounds of laughter
now ignite it gasoline and you’ll get his voice.
Cutting deeper and deeper into my torn up, ****** up mind.
3. It’s hard to hide in a car with seats greased by leather
Find somewhere to avert your eyes while his
Hands clutch your chin but,
Not in the way that’s “endearing”
No, the way that makes you turn away if seen in public, if seen here,
If seen anywhere.
3. “This won’t happen again”
“I’m here till the end”
“I love you baby”
“Please just come here”
“I would never hurt you”
3 times it happened, 3 times I stayed.
Written as a free-write for my poetry class. My professor ended up in tears.
