Like the snowball first thrown in the bitter chilled winter days
Is the same as my grandma opening her eyes for the first time and in her mother's arms she lays.
Later as the years pass and love blossoms in her heart
My grandmother's life with her own family is about to start
Now she is like the first snowman built standing ready to guard her home
To stay there to protect and never to roam
But as time sweeps by so does her appearance she begins to melt
The meteorologist say it won't snow anytime soon and day by day she will alter  
They try to give her more pills to delay her death but they try to conceal it with their palter
Soon my snowman will just be another puddle licked up the earth
But I will always remember my snowman's worth

Yellowed monochrome photographs
Like albums packed with epitaphs
Lie stacked one upon another
By the bedside of her grandmother

With weathered hands and weary eyes
She turns each page, and softly sighs
As fragile memories return
Her heart will ache, her eyes will burn.

For hours, she will reminisce
Though piecemeal, memories persist,
and she'll whisper a prayer, eyes wet,
"Jesus, please, don't let me forget."

Why Does Nothing Last?

A joyful youth that flickered for a moment, then vanished to the past.
Why does nothing last?

A truest love that burned so bright but burned too fast.
Why does nothing last?

A crossroad too many, the choices are too plenty, each direction too vast.
Why does nothing last?

A glimpse into ones self, A once familiar land now darkened, An ancient spell was cast.
Why does nothing last?

Memories I delve deep for, pictures with a broken frame.

Forgive me present moment, as I ask this whilst still sane.

Do forgive me present moment, press pause and pause the pain.

I fear I have lost myself, all but to the past.
I fear I have lost love as well,

Why does nothing last?

By Jimmy

At the nursing home
I visited my friend
Whom I hadn’t seen
In a long time.

Her life had ebbed,
And her health was in steady decline
As she struggled with
The dreaded Alzheimer’s.

While she slept soundly,
The squirrels played cheerfully
On the jolly ‘ol tree
Just outside her bedroom window.

I went to your house today.
You remembered I was coming.
And to take a bath. And eat.
You told me a story that happened
yesterday, not seventy-five years ago.
You didn’t ask the same question
thirteen times. There was no argument
about prescription drugs or bloodwork.
You didn’t slam the door.
But, of course, none of that happened.
How could it?
You are here and
you are
gone.


[Note: This poem was originally published in Cadence Collective's anthology Then & Now: Conversations With Old Friends, available for purchase here: https://sadiegirlpress.com/2015/11/04/then-now-conversations-with-old-friends/]

For your sake Mom, Dad
Truth comforts not Dementia
Your Loving Lier

“It’s just a disease”
They tell me.
But really, it is more than that.
Taking, taking, it just takes what you love
And leaves a big
E M P T Y
Hole.

“It’s just one person”
They tell me
But really, it is more than that.
Taking, taking, it just takes who you love
And leaves a big
E M P T Y
Hole.

“We can still remember him”
They tell me.
But really, how can you?
When he didn’t remember you?

It’s not just a disease.
It’s not just one person.
You may not ever remember him,
How he was
Before.

Before,
He offered us popsicles,
And told us stories
Like the one with the toll bridge.

Before,
He knew my dad
And not just as a “Gastonia boy”.

Before,
He gave us hugs
And you can’t hug someone
You don’t recognize.
You can’t love someone
You don’t recognize.

And yet he does.

I am a small boat in a big ocean, all alone tugging along a wrecked ship...

Nights pass with heavy loads and day breaks with hardwork, yet I tug alone my wrecked ship...

Many storms come along, with tide so swift that I nearly lose my grip on my wrecked ship, lightening so bright and thunder roars gives me shivers of doubt that I might not make to the shore with my wrecked ship...

With a high aim and certainty, I tug along with my wrecked ship...

Days go by and I still see no land, will I be able to safely shore my wrecked ship...

Sometimes I see land but my sight has gone so blurry that even reality passes my sight...

Thinking I was taking the right path to the shore but the waves sway me in all directions, it's hard to tell which direction I am in now...

It's a big ocean and am all alone tugging my wrecked ship...


©sim