There's no way
I want to stop it
But I ******* can't
It eats at me

She doesn't deserve to feel
as if every burden
is her doing
its mine

If I did things right
If I was better at this
I live in this constant fear
so trapped in my own afflictions

My lack of control
spirals
why does it have to be this way
it hurts like nothing else

Except for this one moment
I refuse to allow occupy my mind

Maybe if I listened
Shut my ******* mouth
did more, maybe then
she'll understand

my true love to her
my protective intentions
but I feel as if I'm so far
from these things I want to be

for you
I'm sorry.

I love your intentions
They are my deepest consolations
When all I see is dark
You caress my heart
And the shadows on the walls
Are dancing, surpassing

I love your affections
They soothe my afflictions
When day turns into night
You are the solace I seek
The find restful sleep
And quiet bad dreams

To stare at the ground and wonder when,
To prance about looking for the wring'd necks of wrens,
To die, but wake a next day,
‘Twas how the Hellcat lived,
Up in the mountain garden,
All alone,
His face broken.
He sings each day,
Until final light,
When he drowns with a bray.
The tears streaked from eye to lilac sodden ground,
Where he curls into a ball,
Skin wrinkled,
Grey hair falls.

Mother Moon’s light comforts her child.
She bid the tears away,
Strong-willed, she watches his soul sway,
Her hand extended, catching light,
Warm, kind, soft it felt in her hand,
She smiled, tears well, swallowing fright,
The soul entered his mouth, when her hand came hither,
The light returned to her child’s face,
Very bright, growing, without fear,
Too bright even for her.
Mother Moon took flight,
Not looking back, hearing baby’s first laugh,
Good, true songs of night.
She sat in the dark clouds,
Resting, awaiting the morrow,
Waiting for his tears, his songs, his death, all dreadful sorrows.
                                                        ­                                             -**Firefly

So many thoughts
I must record
So many ideas
I wish to hoard
But I must hope
Before I die
That God has mercy
and renders mine.