In the back of my stair storage
I have a bin
within my old sins lie
Otherwise I'll forget
as soon as it leaves my eyes
I'm liable

Distracted  
Careless
Unmindful

I have lost so many things
some misplaced
forgotten
stolen, I’m sure
I've lost people
For the same reasons

Its enough to drive me manic
I can’t trace
where the last place
I had it
was
The worst
Is when I don't even know
I've lost it
until the universe
decides to taunt and tease me
with that information

I've lost songs
that hold memories
of my childhood within their lyrics
I've lost movies
Some I've just watched too many times
I've lost feelings
at least all the intensity in them

So,
I've started hoarding

I told myself I'm not losing that nostalgia
So I'm boarding them up in boxes
I'm being present in my past
and these are the paradoxes
In which my unlost will hopefully last

Not to be dramatic
But I love to be dramatic
You're one thing I look for every time
But I couldn't find you if I tried
No crumbs, no remnant
nothing in these boxes
will cause remembrance

One day, I'll be going through
and one day, I won't care to find you

Actually I haven’t
Decided just yet
How I will
Doom myself today

A misty morning; skies clearing

I see the rainbow; endearing

I follow its glow; *** of gold

Adventure and fun; I've been sold

When I close in; I look around

I see once more; stories abound!

From a young age I tried to fit in,
Observing those around me from where i was sitting.
Taking in their smiles, jokes and body language,
Learning this social code which they use to their advantage.
My manual is not the same,written entirely for me but I have not read it properly.
Navigating a world where I copy to survive,
Forver wondering if I sustain this will I learn to thrive?
I have become a result of continuous masking,
In social situations I feel like I am drowning.
Living in a world which does not feel for me,all I can do is write about my isolation in poetry.

telling
Shouting
SCREAMING

my inner dialogue
telling me
just to

shower
Get Up
DO SOMETHING

but i cant
the executive in charge of function said
NO

my heart urges to
create
but my mind
cannot focus on passion
can’t put aside pain
so my heart’s paintings
become plain
overwritten by
an unloving mind

From the first breath
I ever took

I watched my mother
give the
saddest look

It was that day
I found my fear
It went
through me
with every tear

As I grew
I came
to learn
I saw this world
for its wicked turn

Amongst a crowd
I tried to fit in
behaving shy
they screamed
and shout

Preferred the dark
hidden from light
I got taught
to live in doubt

From every hour
I had to fight
there was a heart
I held so dearly tight