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Loose clothes
I’m restricted within
hanging to my knees
my own cocktail party dress

Your attention served on a platter of horderves
small, insufficient to fill
feeding off finger sandwiches
I wouldn’t dare
touch with bare hands

unable to unbutton
oh, boys and girls,
it’s so easy to undress each other;
buttons line up on opposite sides
clothes caught in the line of fire
hung out to dry

Billy Mays can’t save your slip
oxiclean, oxycodone
I’ll hide my ****** braisers
in a creaking chest
while mine lies open
pandora’s box
I can’t find the lid to

I’ll break
worn out hairbands
I can’t contain
what chains my cotton
mouth too dry, pressed
dried tulips
cracked, two lips

Heat & moisture of a summer day
iron-released steam
I’m burning the clothes
you can’t get me out of

One day,
I’ll be able to walk outside
a naked moon dangling
one eye to see
all that my bedroom shirts
conceal
We were chefs
(Monkey Soup a la Mode
1 ***** flower ***
4 small fistfuls of grass
1 hose for broth
Add clumps of dirt to taste)

We were teachers.

(and by we I mean she)

We were trapped in the tree house.

(but we were still able to order pizza
from the disconnected land-line phone)

We were parents.

(even though the girl we received from the Eskimo village
always insisted on being a dog, and I'm not sure if she
ever ceased to)

We were children of Disney.

(Peter Pan easily would've had me at the first mention of
a mermaid lagoon)

We were in love.

(with life, with the sun, with VCRs,
with the fact that we had spaghetti, bath time and Nickelodeon for inside
and bare feet, bikes and basketballs for outside)

We were heartbroken.

(when we had to leave adventure out in the wind,
or when one drew better than the other could,
when doors were slammed in faces,
when mothers wouldn't allow playing "Slime Time Live"
until the first of May)

We were who we chose to be.

(and the only thing that stopped us
was found in the sky
the giant star
replaced by billions of smaller ones,
the man on the moon
waving one last hand
with his son
the boy on the moon
who wanted to marry me)

(or so she said)
Or so she said.  My childhood in one poem.
What is a heart without a soul,
and an eye without sight?

I am a wanderer through life
the woods a dark path,
and an ocean so wide that if you swim too far,
you’ve passed Go and there’s no money to collect

Hands choke
the only embrace they know
when the only place they’ve known
is the beating clock face
perspiring time
beads of seconds running down the wall

I am an enigma and senseless in my thoughts
Things I know, things that remain unchanged

My eyes are broken
glasses aren’t helpful
seeing as my tear ducts provide as much liquid
as Roman aqueducts

My hair is metamorphosis,
cornsilk in summer,
copper in winter,
which leads to the questioning of a soul
though perception of color
determines nothing in the realm of human life

I am closed doors and low lights,
the bare minimum to read

Intergalactic travel has been made available
with the library as our NASA savior

Food, water, shelter
basic life sources
but I feed off of words

a language leech
a metaphor monger
a wasted writer

I lead through words
actions
lack there of

How can I control 40 kids,
when I haven’t even figured out how to do that with myself?

I am a magnet
my hands gravitate to stray dogs
***** cats
hand sanitizer is a wonderful invention

I am lost in what I am not
the feeling of loneliness certainly possible
even when I must always have someone around

I’ve shed my cocoon
but it’s felt more like a molted snake skin

My wings, promised brilliant and strong,
brown, crinkled paper, illegible

The strength to fly
eludes my desire to leave

What’s life without a paradox,
and a journey with no goal?

I am mapless
a piece of paper even more unreadable to my leaky-faucet eyes
something I find beauty in as wallpaper
but nothing I could use

I am rolling tides
Emotions crash in waves
knocking me into the current
taking me away
with no buoy in sight

unknown,
sad,
frustrated,
alone,
hopeless,
lost,

and, in the rare instances,

content

What’s being without feeling,
and trying without wanting to do?

I am a daughter that has made parents proud,
without making myself feel anything

I am a friend,
one that has been left
returned to
used
and kept
only by few

I am a companion,
my eyes used where his eyes cannot see color
“The sky looks so purple tonight.”
“I don’t know what purple is.”

I am love too powerful to maintain
cloaked in fear, disinterest, anger

I am not what I appear,
my mind thinking it’s a good idea
to display the opposite of what I feel

Freudian defense mechanisms
never gave much protection
offense tangible
tasting distaste
the words can be on the tip of my tongue
and cliff dive head first
into social suicide
Tolkien, Card, Rowling, King, Bradbury,
protectors and hopes

Paper can burn
memories sear
words pain

I am independent,
refusing aid
most cantankerously
when it’s needed most

I am depths
I myself don’t know
a venture that seems too dark to take the plunge
an open pit of life
disguised as littered ground
I love you.
But I want him more.
Pressed against the wall

Thrown on the bed

Seduced by pain

Instead of a lover's hand
Glance in,
peer out

Not even sufficient for a thought
to be worked out
another day, another damage

Acrylic may as well be water color
for all the gravity held
the mark, made by stroke
good intentions turned poor attempts

Corneas, retinas, pupils
eyes referred to as windows  to the soul
while the body isn't treated
like a temple

not just anyone can attend mass

Stained glass into a ruined mirror
stared at
as unhinging as
seen through
if only the reflection
left the pane
to the window

Memories past
displayed in a museum
populace none
                        a   b r o k e n  exhibit,
for blinded eyes
White lies
Morsels of truth, embedded in
the main course of inaccuracies
preying on rights
driving on what isn't being told

Injustices
made to be light,
weightless
an insufficient souffle
holding no matter
but that's all a
matter of opinion
turning everything else
"the black truth"

Dinner table full of corrupt politics
But,
I'm not hungry
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