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 Jun 2014 pluie d'été
a h
idfk
 Jun 2014 pluie d'été
a h
and maybe i'm upset
because
i only shove people out of my life
when i know
i'm going to hurt them
i'm the most toxic being to ever live

but
please please

stop reminding me
 Jun 2014 pluie d'été
Akemi
amor
 Jun 2014 pluie d'été
Akemi
I quake in the sight of your smile
Flutter apart tracing your seams
The past bares you so beautifully
You’re all I need
3:13am, June 8th 2014

I think I love you.
My body's here,
Right here,
In your arms,
Wrapped around me,
Your perfectly sculpted arms.

I feel your breath,
Your warm breath,
Right here,
I feel it,
And I feel no fear,
No fear.

I feel your kiss,
On the back of my head,
That kiss,
Which makes me complete,
Right here,
So near.

I turn,
And you're not here,
But still you feel so close,
Your touch, your breath, your kiss,
I know you'll return, back here.

You're taking your time,
You know my heart belongs to you,
And you alone,
And I'll still wait,
For you my love,
Right here.
 Jun 2014 pluie d'été
ray
i thought you told me i deserved more than my last?
i thought you told me i was too kind to be this broken?
isn't it true, you said you'd mend me?
i never asked to be saved,

(but did you really believe shredding my pieces would repair me?)
maybe I missed something
Blame it on
Your absent father
Your addict mother
Your unexpected children
Blame it on
Anyone, and anything
So you never have to
Take responsibility
For your own actions

It's the whiskey
That hit me
It's my own shards
That tore me apart
It's a malevolent God
That lied about love
'Cause you don't do anything

Blame it on
My fragile psyche
My insecurities
My "impossible" needs
Blame it on
Anyone, and anything
So you never have to
Take responsibility
For what you've done to me

It's the cigarettes
That stole my breath
The weight of my expectations
That broke my trust
The spinning of my own wheels
That drove me into madness
'Cause you don't do anything
Everyone has a **** like this in their life.
 Jun 2014 pluie d'été
Àŧùl
In That Moonlit Night Standing In The Abaft,
Watching The Towed Flaccid Wooden Raft,
I Thought That I Saw An Angel Resting,
Lying Exhausted There In That Craft.

I Call The Girl Out Unbeknownst Of Her Kind Name,
"Hey Young Lady!!" To Which She Didn't Much Respond,
She Looked Up Towards Me Once In Anguish & Collapsed,
I See Desperation In Her Amber Eyes & Resolve To Help Her.

The Crewmen Had Now Been Doing The Paddles After Resting,
I Summon My Captain & Ask, "Do You See That Girl In The Raft?"
The Senile Captain Smiles To Say, "Commodore, Better Get Married,"
I Look Just Clueless To Which He Simply Replies, "There Is No Girl."

True He Was As She Had Simply Disappeared,
I Started Thinking Of My Sleep Needs That Day,
I Looked Around Again In A Hope To Find The Girl,
I Had Compromised My Routine As The Commodore.

Then I Immediately Realized It Was My Wild Phantasm,
Now This Was Just A Plain Illusion Of A Tired Sailor's Mind,
No Mermaids Could Have Ever Existed In Reality & Were Fake,
I Turned Towards The Deck To Go Back To My Bunk For Sleeping.

As I Climbed Down The Stairs To Enter My Room Amazed & Dazed,
I Saw Her Standing And Waiting For Me By The Side Of My Bunk,
I Accepted That Delusion Of My Mind & Started To Lie Down,
She Said, "I'm As Real As Your Thoughts, Don't Fear Me."

She & I-Me & Her, Had The Best Time That Night,
In The Morning She Was Gone & Was Just Gone,
Disappeared Into Thin Air While I Was Asleep,
Each Day I So Dearly Long For Her To Return.
November 28, 2012 poem.

7 Stanzas Of A Beautiful Open-Eyed Dream Written In A Lonely Evening Reflecting Upon What I Lost Due To The May 7, 2010 Accident.

Read the entire Angel Saga by me, Atul Kaushal.
https://hellopoetry.com/collection/13567/the-angel-saga/

My HP Poem #19
©Atul Kaushal

I thank you all so much for the overwhelming response that this poem has received.

If you get interested in reading any of my novels after having read this poem then do visit https://www.amazon.in/Atul-Kaushal/e/B00NIQ5MTC/ for buying any of my stories.
Thieving through the multiple strains
Of voices in the room,
Eavesdrops that one conversation with relish.
Looks out the corner of his eye,
Winces at the eye contact.
Curbs his laughter at the
Joke for he wasn’t expecting it.
They gesture to him
With a frantic wave of the hand,
He lets out a curt smile to/at them,
Walks on,
While they wondered
Why he was smiling to himself?
Context? Just describing a situation I feel we all might have been in, once. Say, you're miffed with someone, you're giving someone the cold shoulder, for you'll wait till eternity till that person 'realises' that she/he must come to you and apologize, and you'll be the better of the two souls for you'll forgive him rightaway. Only, you must act like you don't know or like him for things you always did, being on your guard. I wonder why we do it. Yet I might catch myself in a similar situation someday, years later.
I am lost
in this abyss
you have created
in my heart.
A hole that
only you can mend;
darkness
that can only be illuminated
with your smile.

I have put so much of myself in you
that after you left me,
it feels like
I don't know myself anymore.
 Jun 2014 pluie d'été
a h
i'm just a boy
who (occasionally) wants
to feel something

something other than myself
nothing so special about that
*right?
i talk to my plants more than i talk to people.
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