Addiction
I feel it become
a part of me.

A touch of lips
and smiles so awkwardly.

I want it so bad
I see it come on to me.

So in love Oh Lord,
What has befallen me ?

I hear it calling me

"Why did you become a part of me ?"

Days of Anger,
days of bitterness.
I was raised in love
in a decade of togetherness.

A doctor, A teacher,
A curator of my youth.
A general conquering
my everlasting ruth.

Her anger was the thunder,
Her smile was the sunshine.
the world would be a wonder
if it had a *mother like mine.

I got one look,
never a second glance.
I was running late and
time was not in my hands.

She was art that
only few would understand,
who saw her once
wouldn't need a second glance.

I was a different kind,
the kind with no plans
to fall for someone only
at second glance.

Little did I know
as my heart took a chance
one look was all it took,
never a second glance.

Threw caution to the wind;
****** my breath in;
A leap of faith taken;
A leap into nothing.

Answers awaiting,
tongue 's hesitating,
memories are fading,
a leap of faith taken.

Rare sorts of amazement.
I stand there, gazing,
this fear starts invading
before a leap of faith taken.

Motions to halt;
Emotions at fault.
Face says it all;
A story in making.

Yet I stand tall,
delusion breaking my fall;
"I'm in love with you, doll !"
Says I'm "mistaken".

See folly at play
but who is to say ?
that she might not stay
when I ask with patience.

A life in decay,
mind drifting astray
eyes shifting away,
heart succumbing to decadence.

She is gone.
Realization.
Strikes you like lightning
amidst a storm of uncertainty.
How I wish it wasn't so but what else can it be.

But I'll wait.
Patience.
Like holding on to the fiery strands of your past
and having nostalgia scarred on your skin.
How I wish it wasn't so but what else could it have been.

For how long ?
Angst.
Since the day I sowed the seed of labour and
watched it grow into servitude.
How I wish it wasn't so but what else has life to offer you.

But what if ?
Distrust.
Like a slow poison feeding off your conscience and
creeping into your heart.
How I wish it wasn't so but what else could these times impart.

Maybe someday.*
Hope.*
Rejuvenation ensues around you like wildfire in a dead forest.
How I wish it wasn't so but alas you fall victim to a false promise.

Sacred blood of mine
Lead me to my resting home
Down your crimson painted path
Where I’d meet some of my very own.

I’d meet my cousin
a proud man in his twenties
with a wide grin and a wound
that listed him as one of God’s attendees.

Mark my thresholds with your scent
so people smell death for long to come
a picture perfect dream is painted red
A family of 11 has carved down to one.

The mother that raised me
and a father who was proud
Never had a will to fight for
a childhood that I wasn't allowed

They came with their guns
I came within sight
None was shot down but the one
that couldn't put up a fight.

The heart stopped beating.
The soldiers did not,
they fired their bullets through
with an ounce of life I hurled a rock.

I greeted death with smiles
knowing that rock would be my last.
As a kid I had aspired.
A martyr met his fate alas.

On the bridge between life and death
I pondered upon and felt quite lost
Do martyrs really die as mortals ?
One way of knowing,content I strode across.

It happens at once
and sometimes in stages.

In days and months
and sometimes in ages.

In distant lands
and the strangest of places

Touches your hand
then leaves with no traces.

Fortune is but
a foul mistress

that favors the brave
and deserts the shitless.

Standing in
Falling out
Hushed silences
are calling out.

Who am I ?
What will I be ?
cut me a slice of luck
and perhaps you shall see.

Nothing special
yet far from mediocre
not having said much
I am the one often spoke of.

Walk upon waves
so my steps are washed and erased
This place I go to
it is where I will not be traced

To a nation of one
where a king is vital
but I refuse to lead
unless granted a title

Does wealth quench the thirst
for all that one can desire ?
The elders have departed
and left for me to inquire.

The end draws me in
I smell it getting closer.
Minutes away from culmination
Decades  away from closure.

Standing in
Standing proud.
Hushed silences
are whispering now.

Will I ever grow up ?
Will I ever change ?
Who I was is 
Who I will always remain.

I remember peace as it was,
imperfect and flawed but mine to keep.
Rainy days were greeted with awe,
nights were adorned with harmonious sleep.

I remember the sky as it was,
clouded and red but mine to keep.
Hosting the dreams of the millions below
a citadel for lovers dying to meet.

I remember the flowers as they were,
young and naive but mine to keep.
Blooming on a dead man's accord,
his widow, beside, eyeing her treats.

I remember smiles as they were,
corrupted and vile but mine to keep.
They seem much too busy now
aiding the faces in hiding their grief.

I remember freedom as it was,
constrained and limited but mine to keep.
Imprisoned in homes and imprisoned within self,
silence wages wars on my defying speech.

I remember faith as it was,
blind and delusive but mine to keep.
Lost to the times and the wars of men
that laughed at us, finding belief.

Bless me with words to define.
What are you, o love of mine ?
An unfulfilled goal that fosters patience;
A diamond roughed by keen observations.

Give me some ways to find.
Where are you, o love of mine ?
Beyond the stars or across the seas.
In a universe of your own , beyond my reach.

Tell me of your unfathomable kind.
How you came to be, o love of mine ?
Not born of humans but of good and virtue;
I slay my demons even though it hurts to.

Give me vision for I feel so blind.
How ever will I see you, o love of mine ?
Picturesque and served to perfection.
Lived a life in shades without light for reflection.

Grant me some grasp of time;
So I may take it all back, o love of mine !
A memory that I've left behind,
a word left undefined.

Grant me patience.
Remove my haste.
Let me revel youth
and not let it waste.

Grant me power
and the means to use it
Help me see worth
in powers unused yet.

Grant me success
free from acclaim
let me keep my spirit and
you may keep my name.

Grant me vision
to see what my eyes don’t
And help me mend all
that these times won’t.

Grant me miracles
and grant them often
on the grave of hope
let the daffodils blossom.

Grant me acknowledgement
on an endless list of names
remembered not for what I was
but rather what I became.

Grant me forgiveness
for the prayer I have ranted.
Grant me gratitude
for having taken much for granted.

Imprisoned by will
enslaved by a notion
I ripped my heart out
and let it sail in the ocean.

Disillusioned by segregation
a victim of seclusion
let my heart find another
and savor the taste of fusion.

Caressed by echoes
and the sounds of the gone
let the hearts strike a common note
and sing their own song.

Driven by purpose
fueled with youth
let my heart serve the time
let it live to its repute.

Distracted by the world
Soothed by deceit
Let my heart overcome
the bitter thorns of defeat

Drenched in colors of present
showered in shades of yesterday
Let my heart disregard time and
live tomorrow in a better way.

Worn out by the distance
overcome by remorse
let my heart return
only to find burned doors.

I've seen life in laughter,
while time was busy mocking.
A door shut on my face,
a door on which I kept knocking.

A door to a house of promise,
built of cards on a stormy night.
Right next to the mausoleum stood,
where the last man with hope had died.

A door decorated in melted gold,
kissed by the sun itself.
and I kept knocking, praying
my snowballs wouldn't burn in hell.

A man I am who has spent a life
that some consider wasted.
Yet some men live a life just so
they are able to taste death.

I am of the latter as
much as of the former.
A lifetime of doing nothing
except wishing it was longer.

Ships drowned in storm lights
but never in the storm.
Nature's little mischief
that man tried to reform.

I believe life is better off
lived and forgotten.
Greeted with cheers in the cradle,
dismissed with silence in the coffin.

Death has guided me to this door
as it had done once  before.
I've fought my way through life
and wished to, once more.

I heard a call from heaven, I saw a fever dream
Of a land my kin would live in and joy would reign supreme.

But the land of the pure has blood in her waters
Of the children she bore, both the sons and the daughters.

There is poison in her air, her streets awash with shame.
How long shall her people suffer these perils in her name ?

Where justice is all but rare for the ones of wealth and fame
and her defenders sold her bare for fortunes and petty gain.

Her clerics were no different, they were but the same.
Men of God with Godless morals, who put us infidels to shame.

So we wait for spring's embrace, in this garden of yours and mine.
But winter is a mighty foe and it hangs on to every vine.

This is not a love poem.
That was not love I fell in.
Rose covered graves,
is it death that I'm smelling ?

Fate knocks on my door
and I don't bat an eye.
"Fate can't be ignored !"
well neither can I.

Winter spread across the world
as the days went by.
My men fled the lands
to catch the last of the tides.

Preachers deep in prayer,
seek refuge from the skies.
Monasteries abandoned
in pursuit of the tides.

Drowning in herself,
in service to her pride.
Not a law left unbroken
now show me one I can abide.

Mountains took shelter
where I chose to reside.
Born to the storms that
cast terror upon the tides.

The storms called my name
until I saw it in those eyes.
Disbelief had all but claimed
what I'd salvaged from the tides.

Unholy thoughts pillage
a guarded home.
When darkness unfolds
I rely on stars unknown.

Hate and apathy
linger around
the shackles of virtue
have had me bound.

When motives are questioned
and morals are forgotten
A soul that doesn't flinch
is a soul that is rotten.

Teachings are taught
but not to be learned from
and ignorance is the fuel
that carnage burned on.

Tungsten skies drenched
in morbid horror.
They've fore seen my
devotion fall out of order.

A thousand years in waiting
A thousand still left
A past full of turmoil leading
to a future of unrest.

In an era of dysfunction
a rebel I came to be
revolution, rebellion
its all the same to me.

Raging tides crash on your shore.
Silence haunts the once sonorous street.
A heart that yearns for a melodious chord
and a voice awaiting its master's speech.

Well deserved and well endured.
These years and hours have left us cured.
Of a vice that only music invokes.
Better days shall come, silence assured.

For if I speak, I shall rage the men.
the men that hold the balance of fate
Anarchy as it is, what shall happen when
I embrace my pain and let cries escape ?

Lets fight a battle on the silent plains
the victor chooses the fate of sound
Will silence forever continue to thrive ?
or victory be loudly cheered around ?

To battle, I shall bring my song.
Sing to you what I had wrote.
You may bring your sharpened blade,
and swing it through my dulcet note.

From the dead silence that cleared
The sounds of victory had appeared,
reveled and graced the listening ears,
would abide therein for the coming years.

Had the ill not been spoken.
Had we let ourselves resist.
The world would've been quieter now,
not knowing ever that I exist.

I think about Blackholes and I think about You.
How they draw in planets and how I'm drawn to You.

How there's one at the center of this universe
and how my universe all but centers around You.

But they're light years away and so are You.
The universe is dark and the stars are but few.

13 billion years of existence and not a single clue.
The universe's mystery is humbled only by You.

They say Blackholes are born when stars begin to die.
How is something so dark born of something so bright ?

That's what I wonder when I think of Blackholes
and all I can wonder..  
..when I think of You and I.

I found no fault in the stars
but I did find some in the design
and with a bit of authority in grasp
I changed how they aligned

Clear nights of June raised
doubts over observations
Fates and destinies changed
along the course of constellations.

Witnessing the miracle
losing clue as what to believe in
and the spawns of science
losing all will to seek reason.

On that night of wonder
the ships reached their haven
guided by the stars that kept
changing their placement.

And the night for once
was brighter than the day.
Much to the traveler’s delight
who tread along the lit ways

Happiness was welcomed
sorrow was eradicated
On the brook of hope
Optimism cascaded.

Families reconciled
as stars at distance burned
fathers greeted with open arms
their sons, as they returned.

What I saw I couldn't believe
Far from what I could imagine
what was believed as impossible
on that night was bound to happen.

Horizons empty.
Oh how has the sun been squandered !
My lust for the simple,
has left me to wander.

Times and places
that no man has faced yet.
Bountiful fruits of fortune,
seem all but tasteless.

Hurricanes tore away
the sheath of love.
Helpless and lost
my eyes seek the way above.

Cold and resolute,
the weather akin to this demeanor.
Heaven would bare witness,
had I seen a temptation more cleaner.

Lands of my forefathers,
abandoned for new direction.
Mind beginning to question
all that was hidden under the fold of discretion.

Mountains and moors,
miles and miles of terrain.
Roads that I'd never take
now bear my own name.

Mind breeding wanderlust;
Heart seeking answers such,
question to which never exist
a will to ask always does.