Cold walls.
I don't have much to do.
Just keeping my teeth clean and the sky blue.
I should give up on these calls.
Stay in the words leave the music.
Too much aspiration for someone who's fading.
Just keep on hoping.
Going head first won't ever hurt my physique.
But it'd scar my breathing.
Escalating and dropping.
Colliding into the form of my eyelashes falling.
But i ain't got much to do.
Just keep on looking pretty and never stop defying.
After all defiance makes them all feel guilty.
Ain't it?
Look at the crumbs of the older generation leaving behind suicide notes and hair fallen in the drain painting the baths green.
I ain't got much to do but live with the curious ideas and hopes that'd I'd see people again... Useless.
Just like me... The embodiment of summer rain. Nourishing for its moments of life but draining and drying the land once the sun's back up.
Summer rain.
I ain't got much to do really.
Just follow the course with no objections or passion.
Staticly making my way through life.
I'm too young to be thinking these things.
I should be there expressing what I fight for and laughing in the crowds.
I'm too young to be this.
I've given myself more years than I should've.
But I ain't got much to do left.
Just keeping myself alive.

Skin
Too much skin.
Too much space.
Too many flashing lights.
Epilepsy.
Too much skin.
Carnal wishes without discretion.
Killing me.
Too much skin around me.
Too much skin for me too see.
Smoothly.
Lights pulsating under the layers.
I want to feel skin other than mine.
I've gotten tired of wasting time.
Coliding and condoning myself for not looking better.
For not making other layers of skin want mine the way I want them.
No-one particularly.
Tonight I just want to feel loved and I just ain't enough.
Skin.
Kilometers that my fingers want to run over.
Skin stretching over structured bones, taking the hues of the blood passing through.
How does it feel you fool?
To have someone love you thoroughly?
From your veins to nose cartilages ?
How does it feel tell me?
Incoherently I'm thinking if I can find love in my own skin.
Too used to it so negative.
Tell me how does it feel?
To have skin touch yours that is not evil?
How does it feel to not hate the skin you're touching?
How does it feel to love feeling?
Skin.
Too much skin.
Too much space.
Epilepsy.
How would  one's skin ever survive loving me?

loveless songs fix my teeth,
and make up my mind.
it's late and I can't stop coughing,
threw on my drapes so the light hides behind.
loveless songs they play their ever so lovely tunes.
if i close my eyes the music accompanies the walls of my mind pretty well.
ain't that cool?
we're doomed to live a life of rather meaninglessness.
so why do I waste my share?
I'm growing ruby strawberries on my windowsill but I let them die,
what a standard human I am.
i am counting down days and hours and seconds,
poured down oblivion' s throat,
just for the universe to throw it up on someone else.
calculating the molecular probability of soul mates.
i'm an overly clicheic cliché living in the hypocritical world of not wanting to be one.
i listen to the songs i find necessary,
music is less than just entertaining,
so i lay in my bed and continue to confuse me.
drowning in the gigantic pile of imaginary flower petals of the flowers that would've probably lived if I wasn't so careless.
I am a **** joy if you get what I'm saying.
Look at me amusing myself in my own writing!
i should go to sleep someday,
but everyone's too sick to close their eyes while the stars are up and too tired to keep them opened in the sunlight.
Oh save our broken generation.
Full of misbehaved and twisted individuals such as my own self.

as you look out the window with your deep set eyes you tell me how you think the earth's breathing if you focused enough.
ironically enough I've always seen that.
pretty broken doll tell your jokes and stories once more so I could draw another smile on my face.
teach me how you do it... Wait I think I've been doing it myself for too long.
I tell you to play me something on the drums you so angrily enchant.
Play me something so the vibration coming off the drums would wake me up again.
I sit down on the always broken bench waiting for you to sit next to me.
But you always stay behind hands on the bench almost wanting to take the bench away.
I wish I wouldn't have to look up as you speak.
"could you be my lookout this summer?"
"I would sure if I'm still here"
the pretty lines on your jaw drop as you think it through
I'm leaving honey, what does it mean to you?
"you can't, you need to stay here for me just one more year"
I tell you I can't though I'd like to tell you that I would love to stay one more year just to come back everyday for you to tell me what cracked you up and what broke you down.
I'd stay so maybe one day our eyes would be allowed to look at eachother.
but i tell you I can't because there's no way I could
and as I say it I'd like to shed a tear but I've trained myself to well
As I say it I look up once more to see the pretty lines get sharper almost like they've accepted.
Trust you trust me don't you?
With your love interest, music taste, sexuality, drugs and life stories
As the bell rings we hide behind questions.
Are we both afraid of the same thing?
Couldn't be right?
You're wanted I'm not.
Correction
I want you, you don't.
Bad influence
It's you who made me want to turn my guts upside down for a drop of the same hallucinating I have every night in my dreams.
But it's you who gives me hope and despair.
Soft spoken we'll never be close to that.
Concave destroyed lover
I can't compare.
Do you feel these things anymore or have you given them up to the overdose?
Would you laugh at my sloppy poetry and prose?
You probably would.
Senseless *******
You know fixing you is a desire of mine
But humans can't get fixed love
Not by individuals at least.
And everyday as I tell you your eyes are beautiful for their central heterochromia
Everyday as you don't believe it so I need to make up another description.
I'll enjoy it and know that you're well enough.
I'm probably inexsitent in your mutilated brain
Since our worlds are far apart
But honey we're separetely the same.
We just never made contact.
And now I know as I saw the tears curdle up in your eyes
That maybe just maybe you're not as lost as I thought you'd be.