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 Aug 2015 Xiao - SparKticas
Lexie
Is to die to yourself
Be born of a soul
Live in these words
And never be quite whole

Just an opportunity
To fill an expanse
Never pass it up
Take every chance
little do her parents know they lost their daughter years ago

in her sadness she started having nightmares, cruel thoughts
and confusing them with dreams, everything looked so real

maybe it were the pills she never dared to take or the liquor she drank
the constant need of hiding the fear of being left alone again like always
winter was coming and so was the depression, it scared her to death

everybody's got their demons either wide awake or dreaming
and somethings just need to be mine and mine only..
I always loved to have secrets little things, big things, mysterious things

but with you I felt like I could share anything, the small things, huge
hysterical laughter, feeling miserable and crying like somebody died

if I had the choice to **** myself tonight without hurting you..
I would probably have pulled the trigger a long time ago my darling

and let's be honest it isn't you that keeps me alive, it never was you..
you can't live for another human you have to live because you want too

and maybe I didn't die that night because god wanted me to have this
these memories, the tears and joy, the experience of growing up..

I always was his work of art
there was a time I wanted to **** myself, maybe that time isnt over.
I think of you often
in unfinished sentences
and half written lines
because you give me a feeling
I'd almost forgotten
with words I cannot define
I can't
I just can't
Moving on is just something
I can't do

Every memory haunts me
I replay it in detail
Would have
Could have
Should have

*Didn't
I miss our talks
I miss your smile
Rare as it was
I miss your eyes
The way they were dark and beautiful
I miss your voice
I miss your laugh
I miss your tattoo-artist dreams
I miss your strong mind
I miss helping you with math
I miss everything
I miss one thing
*I miss you
Just tired
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