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C F Sep 2019
I have come to realise that I am
One of those kind of people

The kind that are forever
In the background
Of everyone else's photos.
C F Jan 2020
Have you ever looked someone in the eye
and watched them die?

It's just a little.
Piece by piece.
They become ever so
slightly more brittle.

I'm think noticing it in the mirror now.
C F Dec 2019
How terrifying it is
To fear you will be destroyed
By a single man

So terrifying
In fact
You destroy yourself.                
First.
C F Aug 6
I have questions for you.
But I don't think he knows why.
          (I don't think you know-do you?)
No.
          (You don't.)
I'm not sure I do-actually.
          (No.)

Well...maybe.
No-no. I don't want to ask it anymore.
          (Let's push this down-deep down. Never saw it. )
          (Please. It can't hurt me if its deep enough.)
          (I'm not sure I can handle this-)
I have to...

Did you realise?
          (Why didn't I realise?)

Tell me something...
Why wasn't Tinder letting you log in?
How long did your selfie take to verify?
         (The effort it takes to actually VERIFY yourself, seriously??)

Last September you were wondering that...
In fact!
3 days in a row you were Googling your issues with Tinder.  

Can't remember? 2024 & 2019? Feeling queasy?
Me too.
     (Tell me you didn't.)
     (Trick me.)
     (Lie to me please, I'm begging you)
     (I'll believe you, I promise.)

But that's okay, honey!
I'll jog your memory~
If we take a look at Exhib-
         
     (No.)
Never mind.
I can't do this.
              (I'm so angry.)
I warned you that the internet tracks everything you do...and I run our internet.
What did you think would happen?
C F Mar 2019
I love you, he grins.
I love you too, she smiles.

Why do you love me?
He asks.
And she blinks.

She goes quiet,
carefully considering each phrase
churning them round in her head.

Not because of a sudden onslaught
of twirling adoration.
Or even a hint
of tumbling affection

Nor because of a pure
strangling sensation of warmth
in her chest.

She is quiet because,
there is nothing
where she knows
should be something.

She tilts her head, and smiles.
Words mean nothing to you, right?
He nods, confused.

Well, why do you love me?
She asks.

She is waiting for the rush
of softly uttered adoration.

She already knows
and here they come.

Words fall
from his fevered tongue
in great big drops.

And there they go,
in great big waves.
Seeping into her bones,

Quickly, with
a hammering.
Silence.

They smile at each other.
And turn off the bedroom lamp.

They will have good dreams tonight.
C F Nov 2019
I truly do.

I admit
One-hundred and ten percent
I submit.

You are better.
Stronger.
Faster.

I am a mere counterfeit
On your behalf.

A piece he tried to shave down
Just to fit
The hole he cannot bereft.

I submit.

Please take him and leave.
Theres no need to convince.

I am a misfit.
Theres no need to requit.

I am so tired.
I just want to lay down
And rest.

So please.
I submit.
Please take him and go.
C F Mar 2019
There are so many
pieces of you,
sewn into me.

Stitch by stitch,
needle and thread.
I can't break away.

There are so many
pieces of you,
sewn into me.

I'll lie here,
on our bedspread.
Counting.

Stitch by stitch,
needle and thread.
You'll sew my limbs
into place.

You pull here or there,
tuck whats threadbare.

Tuck my foot under,
maybe I'll twitch.

I don't know how to
Separate what is me
and what was you.  

I'll never get away.

Because there are so many,
pieces of you,
sewn into me.
C F Aug 12
Don't give me your truths,
from all of them I'll only reveal,
My heart has become a wound
that we can't ever heal.

These secrets, out of em all
yours feel like chains,
I'll break under pressure

A quiet catastrophe,
Time is a fleeting treasure.
C F Mar 2020
If I say something wrong
teach me

If I do something wrong
teach me

If I am incorrect in my beliefs
teach me

I will not learn better
Until you show me
Why it's better.
C F Mar 2021
We've made it!
He's got that job
And I'm finishing my degree

We've got a dog
That loves us times three.

I have to work part time
And go to school full time.

I see you for an hour 5x a week.
We haven't had a date since last March.
I say we don't need one.
How can you miss what doesn't exist?
Forget the weekends-you're working.

I don't need attention.
I don't need affection.
I am self sufficient.
I am fine alone.

But hey!
We've finally made it,
Right?

This was the dream!
A good job
My education
A family of two.

Right?
We finally made it.
It's about time.
C F Nov 2020
I wait for you to see what you've done.  
I wait for you to speak.
You do.

But you don't acknowledge me.

You go at your own leisure,
Don't you?

I am blinded.
I scream, and shout.

But I only destroy what was.

I can't take the reins,
But I can no longer wait.

— The End —