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 Jan 2015 Renee
Johnnie Rae
Depression is not,
a vase of flowers.
It is not meant to attract,
or allure.

My scars are not a sign of strength,
just because I didn't nick a vein,
doesn't mean I didn't want to.

Stop romanticizing such a crippling,
fear provoking thing,
because for all we knew, it wouldn't get better.

For all we knew, we were alone,
we didn't hear about the hotlines,
over the music we had blasting to block out the sadness.

Depression is not beautiful,
it is a chemical imbalance,
it is a one way trip to therapy.

It is a tragedy in itself.
people see beauty in depression and that hurts to know,
because its the reason i can't sleep at night.
 Jan 2015 Renee
gmg
Are you proud of me now? I get only A's and B's, I don't get in trouble, I'm a great kid. But I cry myself to sleep and sometimes wish I weren't alive. But that's okay as long as you're proud. You see my grades and you see my friends but you don't see the mask I wear to please everyone. You give me attitude amd I got that from you so you yell at me a lot, "Oh no don't cry, it's not the end of the world" but it could be the end of mine. Now I don't cry in front of you, I need you to be proud please don't hate me. Are you proud of me now? I look happy so yoh don't worry, I look happy so you're proud. Please don't yell, I'm trying my best please be proud of me. I want to die but I'm still alive. Are you proud of me?
 Jan 2015 Renee
Mir
Does This?
 Jan 2015 Renee
Mir
Does this silence have a voice?
Does this darkness have a light?
Does this night have a day?
Does this loner have a fight?
is there good in a world full of so much bad?
 Jan 2015 Renee
Jason Cirkovic
Oh love, Oh love
Please don't forget
My last dying words
The Words that seep
Through the crevices
Of your smile

Oh love, Oh love
How you saw deep
Through my laugh
And Dug deep
Through the messages
I sent to you
Flickering the strobe lights
To see if anyone cared
And you love deep
Through every thorn
you saw the beauty
Through my heart

Oh love, Oh Love
Please forgive me
I have a monster inside me
Snugged deeply
By the 10 year old me
The sticks and stones
Most certainly broke my soul

The creature is restless
Left to defend itself
From the whispers
Left in the wind

Oh love, Oh love
Death will come take me
He will leave no note
He won’t tell you
That you were right
 Jan 2015 Renee
Emma Amme
Write so that people can relate to you. Consider your audience.
I do not put my thoughts on paper, so that i can ease the minds and feed the mouths of the people who can't take my being. I don't need to relate to anyone, because i am enough of a human to move mountains myself.
2. Write so you get all your feelings out and move on.
I write to have something to remember my state of mind. Because when my experience has packed up and moved on, how will i relive my puddle jumping, my cigarette burning through your ***** wife beater, my tear stained photographs.
3. Make sure to edit your work for grammar.
********, you're irrelevant if you tell me this
 Jan 2015 Renee
Escalus
Untitled
 Jan 2015 Renee
Escalus
Today you told me
"Go home"
I told you I was...
You said to me,
"No you're on the street"
You didn't realize my home isn't the house I live in.
Home is with you.
 Jan 2015 Renee
WickedHope
I'm sorry* your inbox is all me
I'm sorry I'm so **** needy
I'm sorry I'm afraid of everyone leaving
I'm sorry I say yes and then I say no
I'm sorry I beg you to stay then I go
I'm sorry I'm the sun then the moon
I'm sorry I'm so confused
I'm sorry I'm addicted to abuse
I'm sorry I hate being used
I'm sorry  
I'm toxic
I'm sorry  
I'm me
I'm sorry, darling.
 Jan 2015 Renee
B
Hate
 Jan 2015 Renee
B
I hate you
I hate the way you laugh
I hate the way your eyes squint when you smile
I hate your long, skeleton-like fingers
I hate your freckles that scatter across your nose and cheeks
I hate your long legs
I hate your body
I hate your messy brown hair
I hate your bruised skin
I hate your knobby knees
I hate the way you laugh
I hate your voice
I hate how you wrinkle your forehead
I hate how you lock your heart away from people
I hate how negative you are
I hate how you let people use you
I hate how you can't tell people "no"
I hate how you give in so easily
I hate how you care about people who don't give a **** about you
I hate how you love people more than they love you
I hate how you fall for lies
I hate how you care about what people think
I hate how you try so hard to please people
I hate how ditzy you can be
I hate how you can be so clueless to the outside world
I hate how you make the same mistakes over and over again
I hate how you let things get to you
I hate how you're so forgiving
I hate how you give everyone a chance
I hate how you give people second chances when they don't deserve it
I hate how you feel guilty about everything even when you've done nothing wrong
I hate how you let people take advantage of you
I hate how sad you are
I hate how you hide your feelings
I hate how you bottle everything up until you blow
I hate how you break people's hearts
I hate how you don't care
I hate how you don't have motivation to do anything
I hate how you get annoyed so easily
I hate how you're willing to do anything for people who wouldn't even lift a finger for you
I hate how you give yourself to people to fill the void inside you
I hate how your body constantly shakes because you're always nervous about something
I hate how you feel trapped
I hate how your chest gets tight when you think about how much you miss him
I hate the way you treat yourself


I hate how much I hate myself*


                                B.S.
 Jan 2015 Renee
Ominous
I can't
 Jan 2015 Renee
Ominous
I dreamt I looked in the mirror
I could see my backbones & I was so
happy
but a kind of sad happiness
because there's no true happiness
inside my
bare bones
but I felt alive
when I was actually
dying
and I feel like I could jump to the stars
and glow in the dark
but I couldn't barely crawl on my knees
I am so weak
Oh I'm so sorry
i can see those bones again
but now they're buried
six feet under
my skin
but they want to crawl back
with me
and I can't say no to them
I can't say no to myself
I can't say no
to these urges
in order to be able
to see what's underneath
my skin
I'm so sorry
I'm really sorry
but I can't say no
not yet.
 Jan 2015 Renee
nicole smith
you meant a lot to me until
I realized your body runs cold.
you meant a lot to me until
I recognized the ways you are bold.
you meant a lot to me until
I heard the number of times your voice cracks throughout the day.
you meant a lot to me until
you spoke of things you were initially afraid to say.
you meant a lot to me until
I saw the way you laughed.
you meant a lot to me until
I saw some of your chosen paths.
you meant a lot to me until
you told me the secrets you forgot to keep inside.
you meant a lot to me until
I stood by you while you cried.
you meant a lot to me until
I heard the mistakes you made in the past.
you meant a lot to me until
I discovered how different you were from the last.

you meant a lot to me until
all your flaws were laid out to see.
but after all this time I've realized
you don't mean a lot,
you mean everything to me.
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