vicarious emotions
felt through a man you’ll never meet
thousands of feelings
the likes of which you’ll never see
such awful pain and suffering
enough to ***** the life
from a newborn babe
conceived into poetry
my hope for you
is that you might be saved

there is only one thing
I hate about myself
that pale, calloused patch of skin
on my temple
where the skin is all but worn away
where I bury my hardest emotions
and hope they never
see the light of day

i like to think of a soul
as an ethereal blanket
born white, soft, and pure
like a baby’s blue eyes
but as life goes on we stain
dragged through the filth of the streets
and we blemish from the stresses
that, naturally, come with each day
and we tear, from heartbreak, and loss
but you can be cleansed
and sown together again
by watching the sun rise over the mountains
you can go to church and give yourself to god
but falling in love is my personal favorite
all things that create you, make you new
and in the end, the wears, the tears
the pains and the stains
make you
you

if you asked me to describe it
i’d say it’s like that lump in your throat
you get when you’re sad
that you can’t cough, swallow, or relieve
it’s name is suicide
and despite what the doctors say
i think it chokes you to death
the black smoke collects in your lungs
and the blankets and pillows smother you at night
until you panic, fighting to relive the attack
but you can’t. because it’s inside of you.
so you **** your self, to **** the pain
makes sense right?
it’s the only medication a doctor never prescribes
but that’s not the end of it
when the air is cleared from your lungs
and your chest sinks into the floor
all your loved ones begin to inhale the noxious fumes
they attract the massive black mass that fills the room
and they begin to die of the same disease that plagued you
and starts the process all over again
and they’ll have to fight, or become consumed

the world falls apart right before your eyes
time moves fast, and loved ones pass
until you've lost living to time
emotions move on like you're falling behind
while the love fades away, beautiful paintings become colorblind
and the people you once knew
become someone else
until you cant recognize anyone
not
even
you

you’ve walked this road for so long
you’re head strong, but your will’s weak
your knees begin to buckle
and you back starts to ache
the beginning is so far behind you
but death stands right beside your feet
please, just take another step
put your hand right here, for me
do you feel the heartbeat in your chest?
it means you’ve still got fight in you
so long as it still beats
the mountains tower above you
and anxiety lies within
depression fills the rain clouds
and you think back to where you’ve been
the sunny, grassy meadows
the forests, green and lush with life
now all you know is suffering
pain and sacrifice
but remember you are stronger
you’re the titan of this earth
and the world that wants to **** you
is the same one that gave you birth