For a thousand times,
I can't believe that it took me a thousand times,
To see that you are a thousand times not the man for me.
Maybe I don't love myself as much as I think I do,
Beause if I did, I would have ran a thousand miles away from you.
I would have stayed away from you a thousand times before,
Before I loved you a thousand times once more
As much as I want to kiss you a thousand times,
And a thousand times more.
Hold you a thousand times,
Make sweet love to you a thousand times,
And a thousand times more.
Love you for a thousand years,
And a thousand years more.
You are not the man for me!
It took me a thousand tears to see it,
And a thousand more heart bleeds to believe it.
It might take a thousand more years for me to move on, and a thousand years more.
But I will go on a thousand dates,
I will kiss a thousand frogs,
Until I meet the man for me.
A man a thousand times the man you will ever be.
Because, a thousand truths be told,
You were never meant for for me.
Not by a thousand long shots.
Not in a million thousand years,
And a million thousand years more.
I was foolish for a thousand years,
To ever think that you would love me for a thousand years.
Well here's to a thousand times of regret.
I will raise a thousand tequila shots.
You are not worth my time,
Not even a thousand half seconds.
I am letting you go a thousand times.
May I be free from you a thousand times,
And a thousand times more.
I despise you a thousand times,
For all the thousand lies.
Playing me a thousand times over and over.
You can bet a thousand bucks that it is over.
One hundred thousand times, I am done!
Forget the thousand times I crawled back to you.
Forget the thousand times I ran back into your arms once more.
I can do a thousand times better than you,
And a thousand times more.
You are dead to me for a thousand times,
And a thousand times more.
For all the thousand times you've hurt me.
For all the thousand times you failed to put me first.
For all the thousand times I thought something was wrong with me,
I hope you burn a thousand times in a thousand hell fires.
For the first time in a thousand years
I choose to put me first,
For a thousand times and a thousand times more.
For I am a thousand times the woman worthy,
Of a man worth a thousand doses of my love.
Love wasted on you a thousand times,
And a thousand times more.
I deserve a thousand times more.
I am worth a thousand times more.

Athena

And a thousand kisses
with a thousand lies
line a thousand fears
with a thousand sighs
and a thousand lessons
just a thousand words
put a thousand ideas
into  a thousand worlds
while a thousand minds
draw a thousand breaths
like a thousand tears
o'er a thousand deaths
for a thousand vows
raise a thousand cries
to a thousand answers
and a thousand skies
change a thousand answers
soothe a thousand cries
now a thousand vows
die a thousand deaths
shed a thousand tears
steal a thousand breaths
**** a thousand minds
on a thousand worlds
what's a thousand ideas
just a thousand words
lose a thousand lessons
breath a thousand sighs
live a thousand fears
of a thousand lies
and a thousand kisses

Eirene

I come to tell you
I've seen
a thousand morrows
a thousand humming bird dead
upon my front porch
a thousand numbers crying
divided
a thousand pieces of hair
cut away
a thousand lovers pulled away
never reunited
a thousand weddings bringing joy
as well as pain

I come to tell you
I've heard
a thousand heartbeats
a thousand sighs
quick intakes of breath
a thousand breaking plates
hit the floor
a thousand wolfs howling in pain
the alpha, I think, was shot
a thousand drops hitting the floor
tears of salt
a thousand footsteps creeping
across a thousand nails
a thousand screams
on ripping wind

I come to tell you
I've touched
a thousand faces
a thousand falls
painful as it was
a thousand blankets holding back
fears
a thousand sun rays
warming me
a thousand cold winds
never stopping
a thousand furs of animals
gone dead away
a thousand rushing gallons of water
colder than ice

I come to tell you
I've tasted
a thousand sweet strawberries
a thousand sweet kisses
sweeter than sugar
a thousand sour flavors
hit my taste buds
a thousand stakes of cows long past
I taste salt
a thousand tears
hidden
a thousand cheeses
cut into a thousand pieces
a thousand screams of animals eaten

I come to tell you
I've seen
I've heard
I've touched
I've tasted
therefore I am human

A thousand reasons to remain in bed
And avoid the coming day
A thousand reasons to bury my head
And keep out of harms way
A thousand voices shout aloud
All to sway my thinking
A thousand wisdoms calling out
Just as I am sinking
A thousand ideologies
Beliefs enforced through system
A thousand refugees to roam
From those who would forsake them
A thousand dreams or nightmares seen
To counter or to chase
A thousand strains of new disease
To cull the human race
A thousand prophets chanting out
Their lore’s sent from above
A thousand children left to die
Outside the realms of love
A thousand homes of worship and prayer
To celebrate our saviours
A thousand faded works of art
To document our failures
A thousand ****** up truths be told
Not met with protestation
A thousand TV gods are borne
And bathed in admiration
A thousand tears these eyes have cried
To wash away the stinging
A thousand choral soft refrains
Peace be found through singing
A thousand floods and droughts to come
Before the world stops turning
A thousand thunderbolts crash down
To keep the whole world burning
A thousand screams my ears have heard
Of tormented siren’s wail
A thousand raging seas to crash
Before it’s safe to sail
A thousand cities sprawling out
Of cold and grey construction
A thousand cities blown apart
Collateral mass destruction
A thousand throngs of humankind
Scattered during war
A thousand hardships to endure
Until they roam no more
A thousand lies to be told
By those in high positions
Thousands living food bank lives
In poverty conditions
A thousand pounds for the 98
To feed their family nest
A million dollars meted out
Just to feed the rest

Copyright Marc Hawkins 2017

The drawings on your walls
Can say a thousand words
Your ups and downs
Your rise, your falls
Sometimes they tell me things
Sometimes they shout
‘What are you doing?
Look out, look out, look out.’

A thousand words is not enough
A thousand screams right in my direction
A thousand reasons under inspection
Can’t change my mind
A thousand voices inside my head
A thousand feelings here and there
A thousand consciences
Too hard to bare
Can’t tell me to find
A reason to leave you behind.

The scrawls on your paper
Read a thousand lines
A place much safer
I need to find
Sometimes they talk to me
Sometimes they scream
‘Remember, remember,
Things aren’t always what they seem.’

A thousand words is not enough
A thousand screams right in my direction
A thousand reasons under inspection
Can’t change my mind
A thousand voices inside my head
A thousand feelings here and there
A thousand consciences
Too hard to bare
Can’t tell me to find
A reason to leave you behind.

A thousand reasons to leave
One reason to stay
A thousand reasons to go
One reason to stay
A thousand reasons to run
One reason to stay
I think you can guess that one.

it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
my sister lies in a hospital bed after a suicide attempt.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
yesterday i was at the mall while my sister was rushed to the er.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she swallowed a bottle of pills yesterday to try to make the hurt go away.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
her heart rate went down too low.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she needed me when i wasn't there.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
my nightmares have become a reality.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she's not dead, but she isn't alive.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
the demons lurk in her eyes and i want them gone as much as she does.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
she looked so pale with the charcoal staining her tongue black.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
i sit here with a blade and consider breaking my promise.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
i continue to repeat these lines.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
maybe it's a mantra, but it feels like my last words.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
i want her back home.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
the desperation in my soul begins to surface.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
come home soon squish.
it's january twenty-second, two-thousand eighteen.
otherwise i might join you in that hospital bed.

Body in aching from a thousand steps
Yet a thousand more must be seen
In this life that i love for free
Yet take away my relief

Go feed me the pain that
I must have
And bring me lifeless ebb
My time to take a thousand steps
A thousand steps again

A tortured mind for the mindless fools
My head feels so at home
Just a thousand steps to take me there
And a thousand back I drone

Go feed me the pain that
i must have
And bring me lifeless ebb
My time to take a thousand steps
A thousand steps again

Hills of torture through paths of stone
I'll walk the way to hell
A thousand steps step up the hill
Just a thousand back again

Go feed me the pain that
I must have
And bring me lifeless ebb
My time to take a thousand steps
A thousand steps again

Does this see life as we are made
Or can we throw the walk
Do charge a million miles to stride
Be dam the steps don't fall

I'd sooner fly to stars above
Be scared of reaching high
Look down as up and step to climb
the sky

Go feed me the pain that
I must have
And bring me lifeless ebb
My time to take a thousand steps
A thousand steps again


A pearly gate may greet me  
Fluffy beard to show us life
The new way
Last step in time