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Nat Lipstadt Jul 2018
Prologue

casual glance at my notifications while driving even though
I’m all ready a bad bad boy, cruising at a sedate,
cruise-controlled 70 mph  vs. the bureaucrat bifocals 55,
a remnant regulation of the Eighties,
all the while humming with Gilligan
“a 3 hour tour,
2 passengers set sail that day”

then execute a four lane 180,
gotta get highway sideway grassed ,
cause i’m gassed...
by a Poem Breach

of the poems promised by me,
to write of thee,
you, my best inspiration,
the list grows longer, faster
than the hours provided

pull over fast emergency for my composure breached,
my vision wetted, my eyes hit by an unplanned unexpected,
sudden summer thunderstorm

<•>

The Poem Breach

once more into the breach thy words breeze through my chest,
like on a flamed stick, night roasting, toasting beach summer marshmallows,
that cut direct to the ineffable sadness that resides resists within,
that sticky, white mess,
a human heart melting

a thank you message that I’ve read before,
many times more than once,
how my unasked poem, a sun unique,
arrived at the
precise time and place,
to lift and even save,
how could I’ve know?

I did not know

but these messages collect on my chest,
unsought words of purple ribbon metal that make a
less burdened cowardly lion,
grown man cry,
do crazy things for it is a possible solution to his
age old quest

Why do I exist, is this my purposed plan, don’t understand, all
but the answer peaked and peaceful accepted in the breach unreasoned,
my port of entry, a gateway to the scales, a bridge it is, over a time-life river styx and unstuck, yet certainly always confused...



“It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.”


thank you so insufficient
Wisdom and Spirit of the universe!
Thou Soul, that art the Eternity of thought!
And giv’st to forms and images a breath
And everlasting motion! not in vain,
By day or star-light, thus from my first dawn
Of childhood didst thou intertwine for me
The passions that build up our human soul;
Not with the mean and ****** works of Man;
But with high objects, with enduring things,
With life and nature; purifying thus
The elements of feeling and of thought,
And sanctifying by such discipline
Both pain and fear,—until we recognise
A grandeur in the beatings of the heart.

      Nor was this fellowship vouchsafed to me
With stinted kindness. In November days,
When vapours rolling down the valleys made
A lonely scene more lonesome; among woods
At noon; and ’mid the calm of summer nights,
When, by the margin of the trembling lake,
Beneath the gloomy hills, homeward I went
In solitude, such ******* was mine:
Mine was it in the fields both day and night,
And by the waters, all the summer long.
And in the frosty season, when the sun
Was set, and, visible for many a mile,
The cottage-windows through the twilight blazed,
I heeded not the summons: happy time
It was indeed for all of us; for me
It was a time of rapture! Clear and loud
The village-clock tolled six—I wheeled about,
Proud and exulting like an untired horse
That cares not for his home.—All shod with steel
We hissed along the polished ice, in games
Confederate, imitative of the chase
And woodland pleasures,—the resounding horn,
The pack loud-chiming, and the hunted hare.
So through the darkness and the cold we flew,
And not a voice was idle; with the din
Smitten, the precipices rang aloud;
The leafless trees and every icy crag
Tinkled like iron; while far-distant hills
Into the tumult sent an alien sound
Of melancholy, not unnoticed while the stars,
Eastward, were sparkling clear, and in the west
The orange sky of evening died away.

      Not seldom from the uproar I retired
Into a silent bay, or sportively
Glanced sideway, leaving the tumultuous throng,
To cut across the reflex of a star;
Image, that, flying still before me, gleamed
Upon the glassy plain: and oftentimes,
When we had given our bodies to the wind,
And all the shadowy banks on either side
Came sweeping through the darkness, spinning still
The rapid line of motion, then at once
Have I, reclining back upon my heels,
Stopped short; yet still the solitary cliffs
Wheeled by me—even as if the earth had rolled
With visible motion her diurnal round!
Behind me did they stretch in solemn train,
Feebler and feebler, and I stood and watched
Till all was tranquil as a summer sea.
onlylovepoetry Jul 2017
if only I knew how to love...

for my Victoria

winces-grimaces, that these words even leave my fingertips,
reminiscences, a chrome bookmark tab full of decades of near misses,
instances, subway sideway stolen daily glances of she who would be the only, the one, but one day failed to appear, left to dream peer,
and/or
decades long of romanced lasses, flying spectacular super crashes, when my heart-blanched, lanced, and the lawyers danced, poems shriveled as dried ink crack'd and words rusted shut,
cut by so many p'raps, and ugly motives, beautiful covered up, disguised as synapses of sin and insincerity, and I,
the sad man,
both the sinner and the sinned against,
totalities, of shoulda-woulda-asked/kissed-her-gallantly,
activities, when kisses were doorways to trap door rooms
and an over decorated monte cristo prison cell

ah well

the 'and yet,' the 'but for,' a single finger, sealing silenced lips,
passions mourned and irrevocable sensations, frittered, fractured,
all that I calmly called love was sprigs and broken branches,
cut flowers destined to shrivel,
not of what I believed in, something akin to a tree rooted, an oaken strong unbreakable love

of this certain, all approximations, all failed incantations,
for surely, if but only one escaped, could have been saved,

and if truthful love it was,
I would have known it,
for would I have dared to let slip away?
7/14/17
The Bard Mar 2015
I wear a shroud.
A shroud made of prescription slips.
A shroud of little orange bottles.
A shroud of oddly shaped pills, circles, ovals, capsules.
I wear this shroud to conceal my demon, my curse, and some say a blessing.
Without this cloak I'm a monster.
As a child I didn't have this cloak and I was seen as what I am, a monster.
Pointed at and whispered about.
Given sideway glances.
I was angry, angry at me for being me and others seeing me for being me.
This anger spread.
No longer directed at those who hurt me but abroad.
I was a child.
Mad at the world.
At age 5-7 I dawned my cloak.
At first it took getting used too.
I was told that I need fixing.
I was sent to a psychiatrist who taught me "How to be normal."
I abided my parents wishes and thought it was for the best.
I got older, and the cloak didn't work as well.
In middle school my cloak was transparent.
I had to deal with school now more than previously.
The stress wore my cloak thin and I was a ticking time bomb going off when something caught fire too close to me.
Then, after fights, meltdowns, tears, the tears of my parents, school stress, their stress things began to get better.
Things got better in school but not among people.
I still felt rejected, judged for my weirdness in the past.
Maybe it was guilt for the things I had done wrong.
Maybe fear, no it was fear.
Then I began to wonder.
I had asked myself this before but never paid much attention.
Was I afraid of what was under my cloak?
I was born without pills in my system.
The un medicated me is the real me.
I was never born with pills in my hand ready to be popped into my mouth.
But the real me scares people.
It scares me.
I twitch.
I fidget.
I can't sit still.
I look around all the time.
I get laughed at.
I get made fun of.
Or I did...Till I dawned my cloak....To hide from myself.
Bee  Apr 2017
Apprehension
Bee Apr 2017
Sometimes,
I think my conversations with You
pick up
when I put down the pen.
Other times,
I think You only communicate
through spitballs and passed notes.
I squiggle tick boxes
on college ruled lines to check
“yes” or “no,”
but You always end up eating the answer
when the Teacher is in ear shot because
sound carries faster than my sideway glances.
You say Your notes
are too loud for me to copy off of,
but I still can’t hear Your message
when we’re playing telephone at recess.
You avoided me on
the playground in grade school,
the hallways in junior high and
the cafeteria in high school,
so You can imagine my shock
when You asked to move into a one bedroom
with me in a concrete jungle gym
several miles away after graduation.
I have a four-year lease for this new place of mine
and You used to have a tendency to not stick around
when I needed You there the most,
but here You are now,
waiting patiently on the couch
holding two cups of coffee every morning
and two cups of wine every night.
You have left me with questions
that my tuition can’t cover and
that rent can’t afford,
so please understand that when I kick You out,
it’s not because You ate my groceries
or didn’t clean the bathroom;
it’s because the mess You made
for my parents to clean up
was too big to incorporate
in the chore list I left behind
when I used to live in blanket forts.
This is all hindsight,
but my vision gets checked annually
and optometrists say I’m going to be blind by thirty
if I keep wearing my contacts
during Marco Polo.
I keep telling them it’s impossible
to match where the sound
of Your voice is coming from,
so I keep my eyes shut
and my arms stretched out wide before me
to feel for Your presence.
They say that
keeping my eyes closed for too long isn’t safe
and that I should invest in glasses,
but my insurance doesn’t cover
another lens between Us
and I can’t afford to be separated
from You any longer.
Maybe someday,
You will gargle up all those
chewed up love notes
and questions
and I’ll find them below my tax returns.
Maybe someday,
You will pay me back
with more
than just a book fine.
Maybe someday,
I won’t need your change
to feel like
I’m worth something.
But, for now, I wait patiently,
writing with a pen
that ran out of ink
since the day You gave me hope
with a hushed
*“maybe.”
Omarcito Jun 2022
Monday mornings are always easy.

Monday mornings bring a breeze South
Of The East,
North
Of The West.

Its caressing the exposed skin
of my flaky neck
like the lead cannon from Atlantis,

Flying for the grasp
Of the cactus from San Pedro
That provides mescaline to the tribes
Nearby, that pray to its being as The Messenger
From

The West. Beyond the horizon,

Like the jack rabbit, eroding, with a tube
Sock in the vestibule over The Dungeon That Sings,

Sideway neighbors to the uvula. If seen that way.
                        
                  Beyond, the continual rings of                             Agorapho-

                                                      ­                                              bia,
Challenging anxious mind,
With ideas
Of how it be the, not the seal in yestereen's heels.

Monday mornings
Are always easy.
celey  Jul 2015
i am a hypocrite
celey Jul 2015
i am a hypocrite
i have my fair share of selfish days
i only do it differently
self harming, i mean
i chug alcohol
like i should
be poise in sipping milk
inhale
like i'm not slowly being addicted
sideway shaving
is as close to actually cutting
i'll ever get
and i'm a fake
albeit i like to think i'm not
i like to think my smiles are real
and 70% of the time, they are
mostly..
but that 30% still exists
and that's proof alone
that i'm a hypocrite
Carsyn Smith Mar 2013
We may travel in packs
But we're only ever just
Distorted puzzle pieces
Searching for our place.
And it's hard.
It's hard to fit into a puzzle
That isn't yours.
But how are we supposed to know?
There aren't roll calls or attendance,
Just expectant looks or
Sideway glares
That let you know if you're welcome
Or if you're alone.

But what happens when
The image is supposed
To make sense
But one piece doesn't fit?
How can someone deal with
That pressure to fit?
They run around the board,
Squeezing into any open space
They might resemble.
Because they crave for
That drug-- that feeling of belonging.
They're driven insane,
Depressed and alone,
Trying to be someone they're not.
These people drown
When no one is looking,
Detached, cold,
Floating deeper into a dark mind
All because no one made the effort
To make them feel like
They could fit.

There's a lonely thing,
When a piece hears the click into place
But the flower on me
Isn't like the swirl on her
And the image is trash,
Disgusting, hideous.
And how can you tell
That piece,
That has felt the drug-- the feeling,
How can you tell them to leave?
Because sometimes we
Click into cliques
That aren't ours.
These people break,
When no one is looking,
Silent, unwanted,
Falling into an abyss of shun.
All because they were turned on
Giving no room for thought
That they could fit.

There's a difference,
Whether the pieces fit
Or the image makes sense.
There's a beautiful thing,
When all of the pieces fit,
But each one belongs to
A different puzzle.
Where each piece hears the
Satisfactory click into place.
That feeling-- where you know
You belong.
That feeling-- it's a drug that
Drives each of us insane,
Depressed, and alone.
And even though the
Flower on me doesn't go
With the swirl on her,
The lines match
And we all come together
To make something truly beautiful.
And no one thought it was possible,
Even I lost hope.
These people dance
When no one is looking,
Warm, content,
Spinning on light feet
All because they reached out,
And made them feel that
They fit.

And when you find your puzzle,
The feeling is unforgettable.
Maybe it's a good feeling,
Or a feeling so light,
That it can fly on the lightest breeze,
Covering your world in this feeling.
I wouldn't know.
I'm still dancing, drowning, and breaking.
I know my puzzle is out there,
And it's time that I stop waiting around,
And go look for them.
philosober Dec 2013
What next?
As I wake up on a cold park bench
With pebbles being thrown at me
My clothes are torn and I smell a stench
Of alcohol reeking from me

Where to?
As I rub my icy blue hands
Over my hungover face and dark eyes
I wince as I try to stand
I double over and muffle a cry

What is she doing?
I hear the ***** whispers of passer-byes
With sideway glances and pursed lips
As if I was deaf and blind
To my worn out clothes and rips

?When's the time?
Asked the barista at 9 a.m.
"Living on the streets for months"
"Come on, you don't give a ****"
And I know he's smiling with smug triumph

What can I do?
I heard an old lady say from the corner shop
I smiled: "maybe a time machine would do
Or a job or a home or for the prices to drop
But you're too kind, I don't want to bother you"

So what is there to do
And what is the point
Of questions I can't answer
And people that disappoint?
Look at me, drunk and homeless
Who here did I not anger?
And look at them, fulfilled and blessed
Who's the obvious winner?
Could you ever shamelessly answer?
                                                         ­              *p.t.
Terry Collett Feb 2013
After breakfast
after doing shopping
for your mother
you met Fay on the grass

in front of Banks House
and you lay there
looking up at the summer sun
and white clouds

and the sound of trains
shunting
over by the railway yard
and Fay said

my daddy says
I’m to be able to recite
the Pater Noster in Latin
by the time

he gets back
from his work travelling
what the heck’s
the Pater Noster?

You asked
looking at her sideway
her pale features
catching your eyes

her blue eyes
gazing at the sun
it’s the Our Father in English
she said

what’s the big deal?
You said
doesn’t God
understand English?

sure He does
she said
but Daddy wants me
to learn the Latin

he said all good
Catholic girls
need to know
their Latin

what’s kiss my ****
in Latin?
You asked
she looked at you

and laughed shyly
and said
I don’t know
ask your dad

You said
I wouldn’t dare
she said
looking away

back at the sky
does he know Latin
your dad?
You asked

some he does
she replied
but he wouldn’t know that
I shouldn’t think

maybe
you should learn that
and say that you him
instead of the Pater Noster

she looked anxious
I wouldn’t dream of it
she said
and as you both lay there

on the grass
she moved her leg
and you saw
a blue bruise

on her thigh
turning greeny yellow
but you said nothing
of that but talked

how your old man
had made you
a blue metal money box
to keep your pocket money in

and she listened in silence
her pale features
and blue eyes
holding your eyes

as you spoke
looking along
her lime coloured dress
at the leg showing

the bruise still there
like a fallen fruit
and she smelt of apples
freshly picked

and held to the nose
better go
she said
best learn this Latin

before his return
and off she walked
across the grass
waving to you

as she went
and you blew her a kiss
from your palm
but she had gone

but at least
You said
gazing at the sky
it’d been sent.
Nicholas Pugliese  Apr 2010
QPons
Pre
  serve myyyyy
                      bones.
I've been delayed,
a breath betrayed
by getting paid
and it cuts me to my roots-

So send it all,
         send it all
       so send it all
         send it all
back

Pro
   tect meeeeee
why        ?
         What do I warrant
         less than a torrent
         of ambiguity?

**** it all,
    just **** it all
**** it all, all only time
       picture this

fixtureless and frozen
captive and hope is this
a smolderer
heat below the ice
confused by up and down as sideway is just as respectable

help with thisssssssssssss
this pile of lines scream make me a circle.
and my stack of circles reply with I'd rather be a cloud.

the clouds have coughed
and coated me with coats.
You can't adjust the wind but you can jump off the boat.

It's like wine
made in      the gutter
fermented by the sun,
broke the diatribe's flutter.
I exchanged the anger for a bottle
for my cellar.
Seema Feb 2018
Into the dark alley
It lures its prey
By acting dead
Laying on the sideway

Recent news alerts
Of missing people lately
But none found alive
While they disappeared secretly

No signs of blood spurts
Yet rumors spread up quickly
No signs of decap bodies
But the atmosphere turned sickly

A homunculus out in the night
Feeding on people as it's prey  
Visible in the nights shadow
While hiding from the suns ray

Or maybe a chupacabra sneaking
From those mythical histories
Creatures of the dark
Unsolved mysteries...


©sim
A Fictional write. Spilling 3am imagination.
Tommy Johnson Mar 2015
What time and where are we hanging sideway picture frames
Swaying above the floor?
Please alert the coroner
I’m not that quite sure

— The End —