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Tryst Aug 2018
They sit atop a low wall kicking heels,
Pyjamas draped in bathrobes pulled-to tight
To ward Antarctic winds — Nearby the squeals
Of blues and twos betray the mortal plight
Of some ill-fated soul — A fog bank peels
Up from their glowing embers, for in spite
Of coughing blood and dragging drips on wheels,
Collective will has long since lost the fight —

And did they think as children at the flicks,
As war was sold with glory, did they think
As Bogart raised a lucifer to his lips
How Tinseltown might guide them to this brink,
And just like Fleming’s catcher tempt them in
With candy coloured cartons and a grin?
Bardo Sep 22
I left photograph albums of her out on
    the coffee table
Thinking the neighbours might like to
    see and so, celebrate her life
Her youthful days spent at home,
playing among the fields, by the river,
In the little country village where she
  lived,
Her time in England and in America,
Her joys, her loves, her hopes,
I thought it was a good idea.
But when the neighbours came by
They talked only of their own families,
    their kids
About their hobbies and what Clubs
   they were in & what they were doing
      the weekend,
About their cars and how big they
    were
What horsepower the engine was,
They talked of Life and of getting on
    with life
And enjoying life,
Maybe they had it right, trying to be
    positive in the face of sorrow
It must have been awkward for them,
Maybe it was my own fault too, for not
    drawing their attention to them (the
        photograph albums)
But I was busy getting drinks, making
    sandwiches, serving tea
(And had a fair bit of drink taken
    myself by then)
But the photograph albums they were
left their untouched, not a single page
was turned like no one was interested
Like no one wanted to know, like no
    one cared at all
I thought it kind of sad, and my Dad
    who had sat there silently for a long
       time
Listening to what was being said
Suddenly got up and walked out in a
    bit of a huff.

We needed a suit of clothes to lay her
    out in, in the coffin,
I thought rather foolishly I suppose,
    that I should put them on the
     radiator first to warm them
It would be cold in that coffin, and colder still down in that deep dark
    clay.

In the Nursing Home she had
    complained of being very hot
I used to take her in a little tub of ice
    cream
And give her a few teaspoons every
    night,
Now when I open the freezer door,
    there's still one tub left inside
The last one, the final one I'd brought
    in
But never used, that same fateful night
    she died.

It's funny but I try not to think of her
    that much
Because I know if I did, it'd only upset
    me, make me all sad & teary eyed
And I'd be no good then, no use to
    anyone,
There's a time and a place I suppose, a
    time and a place to grieve... to
         remember.
I know she wouldn't have liked to see
    me that way either,
She would have wanted me to get on
    with my own life
She used tell me, "Don't waste your
    time on me, my life is over now,
        my days are done,
It's your turn now, go live your own
    life and find your own happiness".

It only hits you when you go into her
    room & see her clothes still hanging
       there
And you realize she's not around
    anymore to wear them,
I bought a lot of them for her myself
Used to embarrass me going into the
    Ladies Section to get her stuff
The pyjamas, their the saddest, they
    hurt the most
The ones with the little woolly sheep
    on them, the ones with the nice
        bunnies
( Heh! they always used to joke I had
    such poor taste)
The one with the bright red flowers
And the one with the little penguins
    on skis
With the scarves wrapped around
    their necks.

We had to write a final farewell
   message to put on a card
To go on the bouquet on her coffin
I struggled at first, looking over at my
    brothers, not knowing what to say,
My mind, as always, wanted to say the
     'right' thing
But luckily, my heart got in the way
I said, I wrote " Thanks for all the
    Years Mom,
It was a great pleasure knowing you,
Enjoy the next life, you deserve to,
I'll be seeing you! "
This was written several years ago after my Mom died, it kind of wrote itself, it was the things that stuck out to me in the days just after she had died. - Is a bit unfair to the neighbours, most of them went to the funeral home where Mom was laid out. Me & my Dad stayed at home just in case anyone came to the house. Only a couple of neighbors came & one brought their grown up sons whom I knew. I was glad they came & despite all we had a good night. -Also the ending of this, it isn't some death wish, I like to believe in reincarnation and that we all come back, every time I see a little girl or boy I think that could be my Mom or Dad (he passed away too a few years later).
Morning has broken,
a borning worth mocken.
Warden Sun slurks
up, looking for all the world
l/ lastterm's teabag still on the kitchencounter
of student who spent her summerjob corporatively
manslaughtered.
Splendid morningsafter are Sky
Fawkes's housewarmings of no fixed abode,
but this mildew morning drizzturbs
sans amber clamour, dockwork
orange & aubade-bleed into poetic carparks.  

O aubergine azure!
Lumbers me w/ a langour impure.
Busman's holiday for Helios in Goshen,
unlike Lyartsander fullofwoe & Wednes-grey,
who would choose chota hazri
of vit.d, at least  
a monkey's
wedding, over yet another hyetal heist
of a perfectly fine day.
At chirruped shatter of Tirralira FM,
who was up in a haze
of coffee & tea, smuggled miracle days?

Begrudged continuous miracle, rife
w/ nice lives, but life's
not such a luckyfind, merely
the strife galling forth pluck that
binds lackies to cells
& latchkey legacies. Habitforming titration
to the tritical, the trivyelled
9-5 shadiness, 24/7 extinction,
our most unapish aspirations working their notices. Rats
sinking to the bottom of the ballast dew. Shagnasty
nescafelife, REALInotmycupofTY. Good
Morning Godot Depot Of Affoisted Dusthood!

FYI all jentacular pollyannas,
lastnight I watched a doc or 3 on ******'s pyjamas,
as well as a reality show on the morrisband
from
Broadmoor.
Then News
24 till 4.
Now scooze
me if some
seminal television starring Rowland
Rivron has got me allsentimental on being cynical:
TV listings tomoz promise small hours of cultural miracles.

Summer in the city should be
mongogenic as Mungo Jerry's
'Summer In The City'. It is in a way:
the glaw, it glaweth everyday.But
the sun still lit up a
mole l/ a fox - scintillatingly flinches Jupitertawn,
Jupiter-
fawn.
The Hyades stayedput,
so best return to stertor, study
a gaseous sleeperhold in the sandman's yoga class,
heuristically: carpe diem cras.

Pesky petitbourgeoisie
in their lobrid SUVs
transport portliness to transport
links, once sofas & fruitbowls
relinquish jingly
ignitors. Balance due to the diurnal toxins, the dismal poisons,
the regnant moral obscurity:
the outlook looks bright for those who'd like one
last great fireball
gig, globalised vespertine slagheap
of Kali Yuga. Endgame encore is ongoing
bomb of -yawn - sameold brandnew obnubilant morning.
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