Where in the heck are my glasses?
I've seemed to look everywhere.
Everywhere that is, but in front of my eyes.

Where in the heck is my cell phone?
I've seemed to look everywhere.
Everywhere, maybe, except my own pocket.

Where in the heck is my nice, new pen?
I've seemed to look everywhere.
Everywhere, yes, but not by my ear.

Where in the serious heck is my hat?
I've seemed to look everywhere.
Everywhere, sure, though still not on my hair.

Where in the heck? Please, seriously,
Someone tell me what is going on.
I can't stand losing all my stuff,
And right now it all seems to be gone.

Where in the heck did everything go?
I can only find my wife.
And she says if I can't find my things,
She thinks I've lost my life.

Oh, I'm being eaten
By a boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,
And I don't like it--one bit.
Well, what do you know?
It's nibblin' my toe.
Oh, gee,
It's up to my knee.
Oh my,
It's up to my thigh.
Oh, fiddle,
It's up to my middle.
Oh, heck,
It's up to my neck.
Oh, dread,
It's upmmmmmmmmmmffffffffff . . .

How to cook carrot salad
carrot wash and clean. Grate the carrots on a coarse grater. Apple wash and grate.

apple, honey and the juice of red currants. Also add the chopped parsley and crushed nuts. All well and carefully

mix. Sitemap salad. 

sprinkle with citric acid and mix. Vegetables lay heaped sprinkle with grated cheese and chopped herbs

parsley. Sitemap salad.

Heck, Cook the fish and carrots. Fish and carrots on toast to cut pieces. Cleaned fish and carrots to put in

salad bowl. In a salad bowl add the peas. In add grated horseradish mayonnaise and season with the Sitemap sauce salad.

"Oh my god,
mane,
this girl
she just broke apart,
so soft too."

Heck takes his hands
and makes this snaking motion
in the air.

He starts at the top,
his hands shaking
where her **** would be
then he curves inward
moving down her body,
his tiny, reddened, scabbed knuckles
shake at the invisible waist of her
then his hands flash out
wide,

"Oh mane,
this girl had a big one,
thing was big and gorgeous."

Heck stares
off,
lost in the reverie
of the soft girl
that just broke apart for him.

He stares off
as his drink gets warmer
and the tiny yellow bubbles
at the bottom of his mug
wobble to the top
and pop.

I take a few more drags of my Marlboro
and snort some more of my drink
and as we sit at that bar
where there were girls everywhere
Heck sits in his stool turned toward me,
his hands massaging his thighs
and staring up,
thinking about the girl
that broke herself for him.

Just to be with him.

considering reflections!
spectacular expressions excited by vernacular action
spicy and exotic erecting complexity!
forgetting the selective dyslexia
mental anorexia like pecs flexing
lacking dialect donating directions!
elementary subtraction of expletives
what the heck do they expect!
exclusion unaccepted
best guess reckon you're a wreck
what the heck no explanation!

Here's a verse to make you laugh!
You make me feel like an urban giraffe,
With a fabulously long neck,
What to do with that, by heck?
I see you far above the madding crowd,
Respect from afar is allowed,
I send you my feathered breath,
What do you do with that, by heck?
Did you know a giraffe can kiss?
For you, I pray nothing goes amiss,
A verse to you, sealed in bliss.....
I see you, far above the madding crowd,
Is respect from afar allowed?

Two young boys in corduroys
             were playing with a ball.
Two young boys heard one strange noise,
             coming from the hall.

The boys stood still, well, still until
              the door swung open wide.
And a ghostly chill and a real ghost, Bill,
              were heaved the heck inside.

The brave boy stood, as the brave boy would,
             and said, "Hey, listen Bill!
We're here to hear you, not to fear you.
              Tell us what you will."

The other boy wheezed and sneezed then seized
              and vomited on the floor.
He shook his brain. He felt insane.
               Nothing was real anymore.

"Ghosts are real?! They're ******* real?!?!?!"
               he cried and shook and feared.
For nature's laws were gone because
               a ghost had just appeared.

And on that night of fear and fright,
               the brave boy had his thrills.
And the other one was ******* done
               and swallowed fifty pills.