This morning, between two branches of a tree  
Beside the door, epeira once again
Has spun and signed his tapestry and trap.  

I test his early-warning system and
It works, he scrambles forth in sable with  
The yellow hieroglyph that no one knows  
The meaning of. And I remember now
How yesterday at dusk the nighthawks came  
Back as they do about this time each year,
Grey squadrons with the slashes white on wings  
Cruising for bugs beneath the bellied cloud.  

Now soon the monarchs will be drifting south,  
And then the geese will go, and then one day  
The little garden birds will not be here.  

See how many leaves already have
Withered and turned; a few have fallen, too.  

Change is continuous on the seamless web,  
Yet moments come like this one, when you feel  
Upon your heart a signal to attend
The definite announcement of an end
Where one thing ceases and another starts;  
When like the spider waiting on the web  

You know the intricate dependencies  
Spreading in secret through the fabric vast  
Of heaven and earth, sending their messages  
Ciphered in chemistry to all the kinds,
The whisper down the bloodstream: it is time.

The time has come I can no longer try
As much as I don't want to I have to tell you goodbye

I've tried to get you to at least be my friend
I've also told you thst the way we left each other last we 'll be able to mend!!

I need to work on myself before I can love another
I need to quit my dependencies or I will never achieve the other!!

I have an idea on how to do it and just need to figure when I can and where I'll stay,.....
All I know is I hate this and can no longer  continue to live this way !!!

Withdrawal thy toe
From the deep end an see
Just how much
You've abandoned me

Thy hours are eternity
Without a drop to drink
Quite a lonely life for me
Watching dead men sink

A shame
Our love
Is not enough
To withdrawal
These Dependencies

A conflict in progression
My apologies
Done with regression
In harmfull times as these
Feeling worthless
And worth less
Than a drop of vile drink

Rhyming Review - Sorry I'm Late, I Didn't Want to Come by Jessica Pan

Introverts unite
(separately, of course),
This book is for you,
Jessica Pan is your force

For a year she denied
Her introverted tendencies
She e-dated for friends
Gave up shy dependencies

She tried stand up comedy
She spoke at the Moth
She signed up for improv
Things that make shy ppl froth

Her anxieties could have come
Straight out of my own head
You could try extroverting
Or watch Jessica try it instead

You will learn new tricks
While you frown and cringe
Or snicker sympathetically
Through your reading binge

Although flummoxed by the gabble of hibernaculum I seethe with the verdant quiddity that is a cross-pollination that spans the gamut of historical memory and owns the usucaption of infrastructure equipping our bootstrapped capacities of literacy tethered to the ecumenical capacity for proliferation through amplified discernment that percolates at decorative gallop into the stridor of unified apothegms that quantify the visibilia of the broadened universe into the nexility of formula bounded by the parameters that equip synergies of space-time to envelope its own reification and magnetize urbane freebooters of coalescence to grapple with the ineffable mathematics of absorbed losses in the human fraternity becoming overlooked because of the providence of shepherded acrimony to escape the oblivion of barely marginal exponential extinctions of impropriety into fast-paced panoramas of expedited dalliance with optimums constrained by the effluvia of hinderbaggle which exist only by domineering mercurial lability of manufacture enabled by the siphon of Promethean reason to catapult the slogmarch of advancement by punctuated achievements registered by canonical gravitas to revolutionize society in longevity and interplanetary awareness that places a 1000:1 premium on a 165 IQ in comparison to a 110 IQ. Although bewildered by the beaucoup of raxed originality the anoegenetic flux of slogan achieves but a petty solidarity in comparison to the galvanized bronteum of registered invention that provides decisively seminal locomotive prowess to the foisons of promulgated ingenuity propped up by the capacity for raltention that exceeds the inherent longevity of humans on Earth into the permanence of memory to achieve radical vanguard frontiers within diminishing frames of a once vapid time recorded only through the lens of finicky preoccupations of crude retention rather than the kinship of the perceptive unity of the authors who remarked on history to share the same vantage with the distant onlookers upon that very history with such a convergence of judgments the photons that trespassed on inquisitive eyes of inquierendo are the very same blueprint for the modern savory traipse with selfsame perceptions embedded in canonical history like the spool of an exact daydream unfurled before inoculated eyes differentiated by context but achieving the same visual footprint of historical lineament provided by the original exemplar. The luxury of our provisional prosperity is the unique ability to browse spontaneously a two-century travail of perceptible records embedded in the same perceptual rudiments captured by the original vetuda thereby enabling the specificity of prowess to vicariously encounter distant gulfs of time with the simultaneous realization of past becoming present tense because beyond the revisionism of the censors the human lineage originates in approximated design tethered to the aboriginal photographs and hallmark expenditures of celluloid digitized into annealed constellation to provide separate junctures in space time with the same indelible percept decontextualized but potent by showcase of the verdure of the generosity of shared perception rather than cleaved faint traces of divergent imagination conceiving junctures by distal lurches of insular harbors of private registries of tact and discretion without the shared raltention of the plevisable entities that populate the fragmented lineage of space-time to achieve full congruence in percept first and abstract eventually as neuroscience slogmarches with the nockerslug of invidious depredation of sanctanimity. Adrift in iconoduly sustained by lambent monasticism of abnegation we were lost widows of insular idiosyncrasies of similar concepts separated by the longevity of imagination redacted into communicable formula to ensure the divergence of impact of liturgies heterodyne by vast distances but linked to archaic designs that formed the paradigms which eventually merged with the wiseacres of Renaissance conserved in momentum over centuries into the information capital that forms the futtocks of the girdle of a womb matrix of society sustained by a newfangled uniformity of exposure that slowly churns the collectivism of memory and the syndication of the cartel into the ubiquity of prominent thorns of perception magnified by iconography of the megalography of historical permanence evasive of censors and embracing the entelechy of coherent perceptions siphoned by different engineers but arriving at precisely the same conceptual imprint thereby unifying the perceptual world with the usucaption of leveraged networking of browsers of antiquity. The finesse of leapfrogs of modern human impediment is to scour the reaches of the troves of the most vivid imagination and expedite the turnstiles of conserved rollercoasters of enthusiasm probed by the cadasters capable of castophrenia to syndicalize the autonomy of human perception sejungible from indelible vivid footprints of abstraction upon an interface of truly hard-won vehicles of transmissible abstraction to win the arduous relish of once a vacuum of infested instinct into an algorithm of an intelligent source that creates the precise conditions of parallax to seed through celestial hosts the flourishes of stereodimensional traces of permanent cadaster into something that elects beyond the ethereal snatches of oblivion the provisional apportionment of sentiment above continence to set ablaze the rarefaction of raltention and quantify the intelligible impact of one artifact of civilization over the constellated taxonomy of all apothegms within the divine grasp of a sublunary eternity revived and recycled into syndicated scrutiny that bows to a convergent entelechy of instantaneous improvisation of perdurable registry into indemnities that litigate the humorous quizzical trangams of vastly outmoded obsolescence borrowing from panspermatism of technocracy to the edgy appeal of scintillating horizons of peerless scope that approximate the ommateum of approximated omniety but never span far enough for the distant riometers to see for deputized galaxies to be evoked in concrete human-alien achievements sempervirent and virulent guardians of the toil of sensation to refract off of its overhang because of redundant upbringing to shelve the incendiary impediments of the chary into the corsairs of revelation beyond gamuts of lurch and bypassing elapsed regress to arrive at ceremonial progress to trespass upon many minds with a unified concrete hypostasized entelechy of a fielded incorporation of organic life into a manufactured cycle of the most prolonged and beatific longevity capable of digestion and implementation from the toolsheds of hubris accelerated by the vainglory of subsidized harmonies that break through the barriers of language to sprout convergence in direct opposition to entropy to achieve oculate ommateum.The opponents to the logical syndicalism of positivism emergent as the verdant drape of homogenized pasteurization of raw lavaderos that capsize swallock and devour consciousness with predatory mobilism is the tregounce of the ponderous imprints of recapitulated stupidity which is easy to quantify in terms of human rarity because the difference between a 130 IQ and a 155 IQ is a difference in ingenuity power than exceeds 25:1 or an even higher margin of liquidation of indebted concatenations forming the flombricks of capitalized language finessed into burgeoned growth to radically shift postulates into abstract precision that observes the flanges of the dominion of inculcation into the filibusters of gainsay that supersedes hearsay in an evolution of the dialectic to exert transformative esemplastic rejuvenation that transcends creed and ingeminates the festivity of spectacle with the alvantage of albenture to such an extent it predicates new modalities of persiflage grounded on the aggressive patented expansion of the noosphere to inherit the instincts of orthobiosis while simultaneously inheriting the flair of redoubled ingenuity swarming with the vespiaries of predatory discretion working to ***** out glaring beacons of sapience so that intellectual capital is a local rather than ubiquitous emergence because of the prizes of urbacity enhanced by systems of masonic creed that preserved foresight with varying degrees of exactitude knowledgeable about outcomes but incidental in creating those outcomes out of the alchemy of the convergent sphere of spacetime to curve to synclastic pancratic refinement realized in the taxation of the most domineering figures of canon to indoctrinate the inkburch of wernaggle while the panorama of peripheral obscurity adduced by the resourceful few provides the progeny for a seminal equation that encounters the quandaries of precise retention amplified by the synergies of language exponentially grown by the depth and breadth of lexicon siphoned through mechanisms of percolation seeded by the convergent progeny of hindsight meeting foresight to a truce in the elected interests of the filagersion of the spotlight highlighting a universe that only exists with self-aware reification rather than plodding animated instincts of a stagnant match with a slowpoke evolution that scrawls the gabble of the vacuums of faint oblivion knowing only pain, agony and brief felicity but never registered into ecosystems capable of enriching themselves with artifices of origination rather than vapid retrenchments of the stale vapor of the exigencies that plague the intellectually bereft with tertiary deskandent perfunctory desuetude outstripped by the parsecs of the 170 crowd who secretly orchestrates the think tanks that run the furtive cryptadia of regional governance with foisons of fruition realized as dividends of exponential bypasses of even a linear route of the streamline by warping time itself to a spontaneous entelechy that triangulates a warped trigonometry that fathoms what can only be mapped on an imaginary flickering plane of fluxed existence that achieves sub-Pythagorean travel by altering the vacillating distances predicated by the theory of relativity into shortened tracts of abbreviation separating the bridgewaters of locomotion from the vast lurking prowess of reconfigured geometries lurking beyond the shadowy grave of reconnaissance into the penumbra of conservatory refinement. The punctual symmetries of thermodynamic decay met with a conversant offset in reverse acceleration of thermolysis converge with the centripetal prism of annulment to make stalemates of atomic precision appear grandiose to the economic principle of leverage acquired by debt because the discounted cost of symmetrical approximations of sentiment, abstraction and the already syndicated unity of perception vastly scale the scope of the reach of the amenable universe to tractions bound more by eccentricity of parameterized volumes of competing hyperbolas of a warped unity of tugging forces spawned by the differential weights of a flummoxed calculus that provides obeisance in ecumenical uniformity that was absent by degrees through the tinkers of time to adjust the orbits of consideration by tilted warbles of the songbirds that swim in abysses reaching sizable celestial tutelage providing reprisal for quintessential crudity mapped into a syntax of evolved refinement amplified by conserved concatenation accelerated into mastery by the coalescence of new lexicon to probe conceptual space unchartered by the nexility of normal human conduct and therefore bound to a different pattern of evolution that is oleaginous to the engines of revved ostentation in intellectual prowess that is selfsame from the majesty of heaven because of preordained populace meeting transitory flickerstorms twinged with the irony of discursive disclaimer and discretion of disclosure of emissary vehicles that power synaptic vesicles to burst with signal strength harnessing the unity of conscientiousness into a coenesthesia that fathoms interdisciplinary bridges rarely exacted by the formulas of a more rudimentary mind demarcated in taxonomies of scope that are taxemes for unrealized entelechy bristling against the headwinds of doldrum rather than zephyrs of accelerated approximations of the enumeration of elaborate sveldtang into seminal traversals of the inhibitory grasp of narquiddity exceeded by the alacrity of provident discretion in apportioned judgment enough to parameterize vast distances with instantaneous wiseacres rather than rippled mirrors of faint simulations of simultagnosia bounded by the regional scope of subliminal etches of harnessed flombricks invisible to most aptitude measures of working memory but evocative of subroutines that flourish because of the cross-pollination of exasperated sapience clambering for a perpetuity of renewable raltentions conveyed widely and succinctly in indelible tacenda broached by the wisest sophrosyne inclinations to survive the onslaught of traditional nexilities that make obtuse minds hardened by slowpoke myelination and hidebound parameters of achieved convention recursive on reiteration but not expansive on the tracts of genius reserved for the asylum boundary between insanity of delusion and bountiful riches of harvested non-conventional imagination which sometimes pollutes the integral provenance of rapid conveyance. True transcendence is summarily defined as outpacing pace itself to visibly outfox the forsifamiliation of events perceived as distance sworn by the ability of the accelerated frontier to understand the vestiges of the outmoded to the extent redintegration can surpass with imagination beyond the tethers of quddity that narrowcast swallock but refine the space that distances itself from magnitude and achieves a limited vetuda that phenomenalizes the redacted plucky perjury of self-anonymity to identify a novel visibilia of characterized clarity only specialized to the extent the vast sphere of retention exerts a gravitas over footloose fragments of disunity to surpass the skeumorphs of the trailing bolides of distant comets to avoid by meteoric trajectory the lapse incumbent to E=MC^2 which guarantees implicitly in the barter of nebbich chalky rigmarole that the energy of refinement is an abstraction limited only by the coherence of marginal dumose decay to estrange inertia as plevisable from motion and thermolysis as sejungible in partition what cannot be summarily be filibustered by the succedaneum of shortchanged shorthand convenience of the credulity of those who perceive dynamism of delivery as an easily fudged quandary not restrained by the logarithmic slowdown of conservatory inseminations of panspermatism of invention. The riddle of the enigma of neuroscience that presides over classifiable qualia is that the outstretched rax of rectiserial reorganization must gradatim invoke spurious prestige to predicate the entrapment of narrative exponentially slower than the impregnated literacy of an integral harpsichord of mind to finesse the octaves so that sublime majesties become superlative ringleaders of seditious conventions embedded more by absorptive brocrawlers than expressive werniques. We must fashion an orthobiosis that is leniency embodied but plenitude outnumbered by the progeny of its sculpted riches for extravagant spools of tapestries of refinement to be the imprints of legacy compounded by the complexities of inheritance in lineaments situated in the context of overhanging specters and domineering prospects swimming by commonwealth acatelepsy in a maelstrom of revived gammerstang notions of impetuous apostasy benighted by the macroscian and macrobian spans of the captive capture of a Taylor Series of infinite expenditure assuming perpetuity that necessarily converges on organization because of conscientious reversals of entropy into ladders of betrayal against the hegemony of ******* over the synquests of hortoriginality that spurn the castigations inherited from its immodesty of permutation to fixate on global problems of intricacy ragged in salebrosity bereft of the marginal galvanization of hidden inquirendos into artifice contingent upon elapsed epiphenomena of compounded rigmarole resonant with a simplified system of hostage complicity to a least common denominator that belongs to suboptimal refrains issued by Procrustean forces against demassified parsecs of bounded limitations exceeding the volume of perceptible shadows recessive in the alleles of culture but eventually transmogrified into teetotaler totalitarian principles of grave gravities of tabanids to the aceldamas of territorial joust rather than annealed irony of the recidivism of the plucky thorns of percurrent but latent vehicles for oppression to swamp the lethargy of durative formation such that the hambourne atrocity of hambaskets of hinderbaggle grapple mostly with the adolescent excesses of milked pleonexia becoming the downfall of cagey imprisoned syntax bereft of capable constellation and thereby stranded in vagrant proclivities that net positive only in the rare grandeur of my formative axiom of the axiolative excesses of my recensed definition of transcendence. The vacant harbor of asylum of abiding auctions of flexible transistors of wealth is inherently a poolswap of attractive chocolate-box travestime of incurred wreffalaxity suborning the lewd machination of funneled flipcreeks to the commerstargall of incendiary glaciers basking in boardrooms of ataraxic placations of commiseration found in dynamos lamenting degraded embodiments of regaled regelation as seasonal flictions of submerged vanity vaporizing the wisps of whimsical bloated grievances of paltry imparlance to the defalcation of a filigree of mind only sustained by the steady churlishness of preserved relic hibernating in brocrawler pleonasm to grindole the welter of spates of vapid deceleration of successful vibrancy measured in the gamut of hues to exact a penultimate ruse before the finitude of the capstone of capers of fiat remission slick with glamborge of gallionic sciamachy prone to revelry in the cretaceous extinction of monochromatic mathematicization of gradgrind visagists toying with the treacle of blue-sky action billowed into toxic spurts of contrarian aggression of herculean appendages of hackumber providing the bronteum of recidivism to vanquish a righteous trajectory on a pause of Canada Dry conveniences sultry in daft hipsters of tilted stage grafting conclusion prior to rapport of introduced variables of poignant tethers of necessary succor for a desiccated bastion of hidden unspoken reach fizzling into trangams of obsolescence because of perennial inebriations that thwart strong character to scandalize a pinhoked vessel of conscientious objection to the radiology of centerpiece hapless forlorn arid squelches of the vibrant verdure of macrobian dumose shelter for reformatories that invent incidentally accidents otherwise precluded by the ommateum of wasted foresight guzzled on the premium of disaster for a showcase of verve going awry steamy with livid filagersion aimed with a reluctant enmity against the cagey headwinds of recalcitrance inveterate to the scruples of the otherwise unscrupulous who foist lewd licentious philandered paragons of philogeant mysticism to forefront cowcatchers that eliminate kumbaya rijuice of gridlock impressionism guarded by the sentinels of rambunctious destructive attempts to evict intellectual propriety from careens of subtlety barnstorming with polyacoustic nuances of differential gradients of vapid bastions of strident but backwards versamily froward and bountiful of Head Hunter specters rather than heaved recombinations of orthotropism wed with mangers of savory dilettantism of the lionized array of brooks branching into rivulets and the fluminous barnstorm of pelagic awareness interrupted by the finicky prevarications of piggybacked fair-weather allies who secretly fund the slander for the mainour of dirt fundamental to meteoric rises acclimated to dissipated moral vacuums of disbelief of evidentiary miracles among the jostle of scientific regency that slakes opprobrium to illiteracy while benefiting greatly from my perceived barathrum that is rather a crowning ravenous achievement of appetite above substance and distinction varied from prediction that my Titanic zalkengur spared from the unnecessary sacrilege of less accommodating curglaff to the metaphorical hypothermia of albatross in dramaturgy rather than a pause glowering with mastery against my jarred enemies preying on weakened reach due to preeminent dirges of inkburch and swallock to ravage my sanctity with a hyped stage without a starlet daydream fantasia spectacle that is calculated to upstage even in the coverthrow of intelligentsia against the plodding boweries of pestilential raving resentment absconding with elusive enmity rather than cherishing a true trident champion of the seized seas and the traindeque of emulated intellectual accordions of claptrap chockablock pedigree that outlast gallywow afflictions of rapacious venality tenacious to the detritus of constructive detriment building the ashes of effigy before I am dead and buried with the storge of perennial legacy rather than scandalous privation of the obolary tenets of desecration above reabsorption of mendicant bodges of the bodewash of freedom’s counterstrokes of maskirovka ineradicable and plenipotentiary wit deniable but legacy ineffable by degrees of exponential long-winded flambeaus of filagersion swiveling with recessive rubble in a crenellated fortress guarded with tripwire insubordination against cordslave dependencies liable to recurrent reproach rather than sustainable filigrees of electrified balkanization toxic to the aquifers of modernity streamlining Roman imperium. To this flajoust I owe eternal behest as the captaincy of time is not a perishable whangam of superstition an affront to a provident rejoinder of verifiable prestige because the curvature of time favors the ripple effect of magnetized reninjuble charms alerted to upward soaring skies of inevitable peerless dominion in the  perceived symphily of competing benevolence with a shared stake in Earthly pulchritude emanating a sworn allegiance to the best interests of philosophical enlightenment

I open the blinds and see the world - in return, what
does the world see? It sees me, and all my splendid, split
personalities, living these amazing times, of amazing
pleasures, in which we tweet tweets, and post posts re
ego-trips and copyrighted links, videos and things; and,
as stray dogs, we ramble randomly, and all the time,  
living in our infinite worlds, of infinite lanes, till infinity;
yet we suffer so much pain.

Our Shih Tzus take us on extended walks, firmly leashed
to our Koss plugs, as we drone cool tunes on multihued
iPods, iPhones buzzing ringtones of tittering babies,
stolid kings and hyperactive frogs, which would all make
my eighty-six year old dad want to gag; we fly
ultralight megaplanes at the sonic sound of speed,
through virtual and real space, connecting dots at low-
cost prices, while we belt-up, gear-up, gulp Gaga and
gorge heat-inducted meals of deer, horse and over-
promoted crap; and then, wow surprisingly, we are all
so unsatisfied.

We consciously all move-in together, and **** on end,
like statistical sheep, pre-married, unloving, and broken
up, and justify it all, to ourselves, with our fully
stretched spandex morality, over low-carb brunches
@Starbucks, two 14” screens of separation; we paint
pornographic images of virgins, all called Mary, in the
name of art, and, white-clad, **** babes and alter-boys,
and penetrate each other, first with our fingers, deeply,
then superficially, without even wondering, for a
zeptosecond, why we can’t stand one another any
longer.

We crank-up dependencies, like high street mainliners,
shamming and slaughtering for neurotoxic fixes of
smileys and Crystal on billion-dollar Kogo yachts, while
we all just pedal on, dispassionately, down and over
interior canals, to the core of our hocked, abbrev lives,
chronically connected and severely distracted, in
aromatic polymer bubbles, heedlessly cruising through
comic-strip farms of mock vegetables, surely to nowhere
and towards no one; and quite frankly, the world laughs
at all this, and sobs, and so do I.

I barely know you that well
But would you like to take some time away
Throw pennies down a well
And make wishes that we'd never tell?
When it comes to being confident
I'm lacking in the subject but it
Doesn't mean that I don't know how to love
If there's something beautiful in this rotten world it's a dove
Who flies through the day and the night
With wings ******* white
Trying to find the one to who will make him stay
And make a nest with eggs
Feed his children on the off days
So if it's something like that you're looking for
I'll have introduce you too the door
Only after we've had our fun
Because I really want to know you
But it's hard for me to show you
Everything that I'd want to give
It's not what I'd suggest but it's the way some like to live
So take your coat
and hang it up
Or throw down your purse and lay with me till the sun comes up
Either way it doesn't matter to me
It's just another thing to lose
Something I'd rather not choose
But it's something that people live for

Whatever happened to the christian girl
Who took a solemn pledge
To remain pure like silver
And to never go up against
The devil and his drones
To become a mindless clone
To the alcohol and green
She says she feels all in between
I think she left home way too soon
Like some modernized sixties cartoon
Well I know that a man ***** you
****** is a real shame
But that doesn't mean you can take good friends
And make them feel the same
Hate isn't something I'd wish upon another
So please just stay out of it
And avoid all the clutter

So drink all the wine in my simplistic home
Don't worry about the time we've got a loan
It is just another thing to lose
Don't think about tomorrow I'll take your shoes
I know I'll wake up the next morning
And know i'll never get to see those hazel browns again
Because you like to your eyes closed when you sin
It helps you not remember what you did
I'm not really one to talk
But I think we should take a walk
And get the help that we deserve
because even god can't help us when we refuse to learn
And you'll try to look both ways
Before crossing the busy street
At least that’s what it'll say
On your suicide note to me
I'll miss you very dearly
If only you could see clearly
And not through that red eyed whiskey glare
It's yet another thing I refuse to share

You know which way to go about it
You say that you can live without it
But when it comes to being a good son
You have eleven bottles down at a quarter to one
Now your beating your mother
And cursing the only other
Person that wants you to live
I really wish you had something more to give
Than a sly remark and a troubled slur
Like a baker who let his workplace burn
You'll get back everything you lost
You can't even get better
So just take up that sweater
And go sit in the backyard and slit your wrists
The police are knocking at your door they're coming in
Only three days in prison
And your back to the same old ****
I bet you had a life
That was relatively good
Although I know nothing about your wife
Everything seemed to be where it should
Can you count the fingers
On my left hand?
You just want shove it in my face
And kick my *** where I stand
Your sisters don't care
And your father is barely breathing on his bed
You niece is in denial
And your nephew wants you dead
Can I ask a question?
Have you learned your lesson?
You better hope to god you'll never hear this poem
Because let me tell you
I want you gone

The couple that's not a couple broke up last week
The girl was a bit troubled
And the boy just smokes his ****
While another girl doesn't eat
And another man can barely sleep
Because there is really too much on their minds
Like the french man and his muse
They are all compromised
And the kids that drop their acid
Before they're thirteen
And the parents who keep the knives at bay
Cry in disbelief
The girls who's actually eighteen
Is mentally ten
No one knows what’s happening with her mother
She might be dead
In a few months time
They won't know if she’s fine
The father takes his pleasure
In being philosophically confusing
And the son lies about his drug use
Its all a bit soothing
To think they all started out
In the same old place
Naked as a jaybird
With their mothers to thank
How they all have changed
Moderation is key
It really shouldn't be
Be I'll talk about me

I'm an eighteen year old ******
Just trying to find some love
Not someone to ****
Just to think fondly of
My uncle is a drunk
And my mother might die
My grandfather doesn't remember me
And my sister can't even try
To be a normal kid
Like her younger brother
While my father scolds me
About the **** like its another
Faithless crime
Like he did when he was a kid he
Sipped his wine
And now my fathers’ father
Can barely think
He just gargles down his mouthwash
And spits into the sink
His heads makes up theories
About the president
And we are all communists
Its real complicated
And here I am at two AM
Just trying to deal
With all of these thoughts
It really can’t be real
I think sometimes it's easier just not to feel
I've had a few girls I've thought fondly of
With each of them in different ways, I fell in love
One was a pure christian girl
Who left me for jesus
Another was deep into drugs
She overdosed and now I never see her
There was one who lived in Chicago
She was full of hope
One who took pills for pleasure
But now only smokes dope
Another who takes photos
Who only dreams in black and white
We are just best friends
I hope one day I
Well one day I'll take the train
To somewhere new
With my guitar and my ripped up shoes
I think I'd really love to start again
With a new name, a new life
Some new friends

I'll write you all letters
Explaining my guilt
I'll never forget you
I promise you all that I will
Try to visit again
On a warm summer day
My hair will be past my shoulders
And my heart taken away
By someone who is as close to perfect
As the word itself
And when I look into their eyes
My brain would start to melt
Like the eagle and the poacher
It's just a kind of game
You never know who's gonna win
And what’s to blame
Is it because we live in a land that land makes medicine illegal
Or the fact that we deny any form of help to the most vulnerable of people
We think we own the world
When we are really just a race
Who took the fact that we have thumbs
As the right to claim first place

Take this message in a bottle
And throw it out to sea
Hopefully through all the pollution
They'll find me
With a joint in my hand
And my guitar in the other
I'll tell them I've quit cigarettes
And this is just another
Way to cope
With the every day life
I know they won't believe me
I'm a criminal in their eyes
I'll fight for all my friends
That have been taken down
By wars or drugs or policeman
Their souls I never found
I guess it's time to move on
A new chapter will begin
Maybe this time I'll let the light
Come shining on in
I know I've let my mother down
She probably hates me
The feeling might be mutual
But that doesn't even phase me

For me there's just so many things to say
I can't even wrap my head around
What happened new years day
I was alone in the bathroom
Drunk beyond belief
Taking a drag off a cigarette
And then a hit of ****
It was me and three of my friends
Two were having ***
The other had a friend over
The were on the couch touching lips
I called up a friend
He said he wasn't busy
He said I should hang up
He knew I was way past tipsy
We talked for hours
then I went back to the room
The reeked of smoke and ****
With a hint of the blues
I called up a friend of mine she paid me a visit
She gave me a big hug
I really, really miss it
When I saw her face
I almost started to cry
She left, I love her
She's the best friend that I
Have ever had in this world
She knows about me
She helped me off the drugs
And my dependencies
When it was again just us four
I played them all a song
The tears all just came up again
I played along
We all went outside
And smoked the last cigarette
Smoke the rest of my ****
And went off to bed
It was a sad night
But I had things to learn
Like who will go out of their way
To help me reconfirm

My identity that had been lost
About two years ago
I don't think I'll ever find it
To whoever cares you should know
I'll miss you
When I'm nearly dead
Whenever that is
Remember what I've said
You can't love another
Without mending a broken heart
It's something I wish I'd known
Right from the very start
It would have helped me out a lot
Way back then
With my insecurities
That I can throw into the wind

Wish oh wish upon a star
Wake up where the days are close
Behind you
Maybe one day they'll get the message
That everything I do depends on them
Return to where it all began
Try to wake the dead and frolic now and then
Stay up in the fields and take a look
A flower floating through the forest
Floating in a bubbling Brooke
I guess that's where I started
My old friend
I hope I get to see you
One day before the end

If he dies, he dies
With trouble on his mind
Future looking hazy
This is the end of the line
With a cigarette in hand, walking to the water
He hit the bottle hard, longing for the other
One, in his life that could make all this right
But this is the real world, not a dream
And after that fight
She isn't coming back, he knows this in his heart
As he looks up to the sky
Praying for this life to stop
Not thinking of the good things
Trapped in a world full of pain
Blinders on, paranoia rules here
No love left, just hate
Chemical dependencies couldn't take him away
The six shot revolver, couldn't decide his fate
So he turned his hood up and walked into the distance
Praying for an act of God to please
Simply just end this

We never knew it

If you called
the phone was ringing
on a line that led nowhere

The pain didn't shake itself
to frothing fury

We merely spilled
an accidental ant
infestation

Could be ordered
by dripping maple syrup
out of pocket

Certificate On Demand
<>< <>< <><
Well they are also being trawled
Trolled, rolled, and hashed
Backwards into oblivion

Forwards we march to the void
With no uniform but the one
you made us pay for

With every ability but the one to accept
a bit of discipline
A lashing of the tongue
A rolling of the eyes

These we claim as ekstatic
empyrean
and lofty

Base and
belonging

We have never had much of a chance
or survived

Making time is the one operation that
computers are incapable of doing accurately

The slow movements of tektonik
A bit of spatial dejazz
Combines slyruping away at our self-gnawing
ganymede
Diana
sysysus

There are Bacchantic poems
Earth is playing slower
and heavier with us

Then then there them
We decided deicide was old
hats and new sweaters
path-dependencies
Llavanderias and futbol
gols for 2016

never score again
if winning tastes like the defeat
of all desire
than massage me back into a fashion

I need a sauna
and 3 bathing attendants

The stars need less light from us
and more humble pie

The pour poor por que por que no?

The minutes and hours drench and drift
like evaporating mud-rain keening through the sides of my fingers
seamlessly
And my belly is warmed at the beigest radiator's synchronized glow.
"Without a dream in my heart, without a love of my own."

Such were the words that glimpsed
at truth, that attempted such sweet
transparent reflection upon
my runaway-from-home boy-adulthood
daydreams.
Whimsy scored without the tears
but also without a grasp at love.

Without a chance of knowing all its disappointments,
co-dependencies and retreats.
Hubris instead flanked like steam rising off morning windows to ward off the cold.

Alone, (a recurring fantasy), I placed myself battle-rigid,
regarding only what was then contemporary
keeping a trench against the adherence of life's timepieces
Allowing only seized elation of thought to cluster and ferment out of
the ruins of the world.
Reporting on all but life's safest discrepancy,
the fear of ageing further,
Everyday.

What active pursuits had I, to locate and chase these memories with?
If memory would challenge my conviction,
these ballbearings, by talking back
to disprove the self-image as being merely selfish?
Will I feign to remember these words, nevermind the images, in fifteen years time?

Perhaps only a spark (an imitation of: Gaslight, Phone Charge, Sun) is ever needed
Chore-empty afternoons spent as if waiting in art galleries
for Rothkos to explode, to echo, to ignite something catastrophic,
Something permanently invigorating, that damages,
that which further longs to fall apart.

To intense to endure this mentality,
The human condition was not meant for this kind of pestilence,  ,
This kind of using,
When the ingestion leaves you mentally cringing,

I  was consuming for the feelings of escaping thieves,
To vicariously experience something just as devious,
As I put my faith in capsule cradled dependencies,
“******* it’s so hard to type with keys that keep falling from my reach”

May I experience such a moment of going beyond what only my sobriety may perceive,
For only an instance before I go back to the way things use to be,
Please,

Am I a pioneer or a deviant, an explorer or a ******?

Pupils suspended like flying saucers, smearing across a starry sky,
The eyes that exemplify my concocted climb,
The sights that remind me I’m destined to decline,
But not before a few more twists and turns along this mentally mutilated ride,

“******* Jen can you come soon so we socialize before I’m institutionalized”
I didn’t know I’d be hindered by the human condition,
I didn’t want to be alone,  

Thinking I’d be mentally prepared and not physically impaired,
Ever after it’s end, I am still unable to comprehend, something made by man,

Bringing me close enough to consider, the divinity of the whitest doves and the blood of lamb,
Like a pagan explanation to why we act this way,
This ingestion had left me somewhat insane,
Afraid of what others can create in this century,

So I pray that you will heed what I have to say,
So I hope you stay away from something that may leave you a casket-case  
Because there isn’t anyway to save us all from seeking to flee this reality,
And momentarily forgot about the ugliness of our actual identities.