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A de Carvalho May 2012
we used to play
by climbing the shed
next to our pool
then leap into thin air
clasping on to faith
and to the crowns
of little pine trees
that would bow
‘til we hit the ground
with just the right amount
of scare and grit
in our bodies
to goad us back up
onto the shed
A de Carvalho May 2012
As I began to see clearer,
Things started to disappear right in front of my eyes.
At first it was things like mugs, songs, cars,
and friends (those that weren’t really my friends).
Then it was the clouds, the wind, and the rain.
Few things remain, but these things are so beautiful.
Everything is always so peaceful now.
I have everything I need, I am everything I need to be.
I’ve come to realize that those who smile the most are not always the happiest,
And that faith isn’t as terrible a thing as I’ve heard so many preach.
God does care.  In His own way.
He does exist.  In you, like everything else.
Miracles, like a father teaching his son how to choose his loves, happen.
Your every heartbeat is a miracle.
There is beauty in everything if you can see the beauty in you.
I’ve let too much life slip away.
I don’t shun pain any longer, nor anything that’s natural.
There is a purpose in everything. There really is.
Particularly in the smallest of things.  
Simplicity is what makes life special.
Simplicity is what makes us human.
Nowadays, I hear the silence that exists in me,
And that is always more than enough.
A de Carvalho May 2012
it was love then.
it is love now.
being is always enough.
when you resist, you suffer.
stop pushing. place trust in dharma.
the petals fall when they must fall.
if you don’t push at all, something will still happen.
change is the highest quality of your heart,
and when you change, everything changes.
there is no separation between us, only awareness.
see god in everyone and you become god.

first call god, then send him away.
aum namah shivaya.
ram.  jhao.
भगवान. चले जाओ.
A de Carvalho May 2012
when i was young
i didn t believe in love
i didn t have to.
we would go on trips
all the family
every sunday
to a lake
to see swans
and eat cakes
and play games
we d played
countless times.

were filled
with lively children
devoted parents
and ungettable wishes.
i couldn t keep
all the presents
we d give them
to children
without parents.
all but three.

so it went
year by year
as we grew.
we didn t believe in love
we didn t have to.
we did all things together
we flew together
drove down to the shore
fights were uncommon
they were meaningful.
everything was simple
and so were we.

one time
there was a goldfish
in a bowl
that i fed
with tiny little pieces
of fish fodder.
life was true
and feral
our pockets filled
with dreams
made of laughter.

then a man came
he took me away
he breached everything
he stole my innocence
with his lust
for all things
with his malice.
some fights we just
can t win.
his face was pale
his eyes were red.
don t listen to what
he has to say.
this man was me.
A de Carvalho May 2012
Your gods lay dead, buried
and past forgotten, while
the greater God patiently
awaits your return, in
immensity, within you.

Soul is a triumph that must
be deserved, by remaining
in or returning to our
Permanent Self.

In between, it is absent.
Innocence is the shore we
depart from and the shore
we must return to.

Don’t seek love. Your
essence is love. Don’t seek
truth. You are the
embodiment of truth.
Don’t seek god. You are
god. Your simplest you is
A de Carvalho May 2012
You want to know the truth?
The truth cannot be expressed
by words or mind.

Look inside
and find you in you.
You will have small feet and small hands,
a big heart and no mind.
Wake up and play,
spin round and round in magical circles,
and laugh,
and say silly things.

Now, you know the truth.
Poem written for and given to the Dalai Lama
on the 17th of September, 2010, in Budapest,
together with the following video:
Peace, Prayer, Sukha, Love, and the Human Family
A de Carvalho May 2012
you enter
smiles and golden rays of hope
pains fade, kisses gained
i sigh

you exit
lost, twisted
pains regained
i cry
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