Blink.
And this moment will be gone.
Washed away in the tears sliding down your cheek as
We both breathe in and let the lyrics of silence
sweep up To the rooftop like billowing smoke
Spilling over the lips of
my f.m. radio because they are too
Afraid to part from our tongues,
filling our lungs with the truth we’re terrified to release,
As if speaking the words might shatter the
promises we spoke to one another in the dark
So many nights ago
Skip.
Heart beats.
And radio songs.
Until the clichéd notes embody the danger of understanding
Held behind our irises
the bitter winter air
frosts the back of our throats
Into a dagger of honesty.
Let’s both just blink and fold our hands into
Prayer, begging God that the
Stars won’t fall from your eyes because those
Were the only ones I’ve ever been able to see clearly enough to
Wish upon.

II

There’s a sliver of moon
Slicing across your face
Changing shape as you blink.

Changing shape as we change.

Each blink revealing more light until
The crescent smoothes out and
Wanes into life.

Please,
Don‘t let those tears fall from your eyes,
They carry too many promises and,
Moons aren’t supposed to melt down faces,
They’re meant to whisper hope into dreams

So blink,
And hold back your sorrows because
Tomorrow is only hours away
And the sun is rising into
The daylight that’s truly
reflecting from your pupils.

The moon is only a mirror.

III

Honestly
This moment doesn’t really matter.
You’ll blink
And it’ll fade into the next.
You’ll blink
And my wishing star will fall from your eyes
You’ll blink
And seconds pass
Into minutes
Into hours
And eventually
you’ll blink
In a new day.
A new month
A new year
Until the tears that once fell are only memories
Until the moment was just
A blink

You’ll clear your eyes and realize
You’re exactly where you are supposed to be
And the tears that fell in blinks
Watered the garden growing in between your toes and
Up to your chest
Allowing you to blossom and
Stretch the flowers held in your
Fingertips up towards heaven
To kiss reality with a smile.
You’ll blink
And you’ll have wings to fly away from all of this

I will know I played my part that night

IV

As the car filled up with our breath that night
Our eyes were kept open
Unable to shut for even a moment in
Absolute fear that if we did
The other would disappear
Beneath the shattered window of
Every word we ever spoke
Every safe retreat we built upon
A simple embrace
The simple act of blinking
Never held as much significance
As it does when grasping at terrified eyes
Peeling back to expose vulnerable
Pupils
Desperately trying to reach out its arms
And embrace some form of light

But that night
No stars were shining

And as you buried your face within
Praying hands
I learned how to blink again
Blinking
Blinking
Blinking
As I waited for everything to pass
Until I could blink
And you’d look up at me with
Sun lit eyes
A smile held against your
Irises
And I could blink
Knowing the light was coming
To wash a glow upon your face
And we could meet the sunrise
With something beautiful held in our
Hands like a surrender flag.

V

Five has always been my favorite number
You’ve always known that.
Even before you knew me or
My favorite anything
Even when we were children and you wouldn’t recognize
The shape of my face until
We made that first introduction
Blinked
and you learned my name under
The sun lit circle

We both sighed relief
As smiles crept across tight skin
Because the realization seeped into our bones
That you’ve always known
that five was my favorite number

Probably because you’ve always known me
Even when you thought you didn’t.

You did.

We were always crawling towards this
Meant for this.

Love isn’t something that appears to
Disappear.
It is a growing thing,
That starts at the birth of our toes
And wraps up each limb like vines until
It becomes apart of our voice,
And when we speak
It forms wings to kiss heaven and tell God of
Our triumph.
And just like you’ve known my favorite number was five
Before you even knew me,
Before you even realize you did,
There’s always been this love
Blinking out from our knowing eyes
And fluttering on the wings of butterflies into
each others out stretched hands.
And although the signs may have been misread
And we turned right when we should have turned left
There’s still love on our eyelashes for
One another,
But blinking only shows change
And although love doesn’t
Dissipate
Blinks can etch it into
Something we never knew existed
So blink,
And embrace the revolution
Because we both know Five is my favorite number
But there is more to this than that.

The sun still shines,
And the growth that is
Rooting between each ventricle of
Our hearts is
Leading us along the right path
Still connecting us deep beneath our
Running feet
Even if we run in different directions.

Blink.

Close your eyes just to open them
To something beautifully new.

And I will blink with you.

At first, a tremor beneath the souls of my feet
Blink, a story millions of heartbeats away
Dark clouds over a field as acidic purge falls over us
Venomous mist seeps, humanity weeps
Blink, 18 stars bent and watching
Emitting rays pointing their random strikes

Blink, glorious earth temperate in her rotation
Marble folds on her maternal veil drapes us
Close to her breast, we heave in time with each breath
Blink, sustaining life in the chambers of her deepest ocean
Breathing air across the tall granite mountains
Distressed, and yet still here

Blink, ancient footprints track our journey
Not what we envisioned but “the enlightened ones” foresaw.
The need for understanding,
The need to cause conflict and agitate,
Blink, the need to protect,
The need to heal and mend.

Blink, you are here now, in your full extravagance
Delighting in fracking and disruption
Sleight of hand, our blindness is your reward
Blink, remorseless as you divide us
Along the fault line, we fall

Blink, with loved ones snatched
We turn on one another tossing
Handfuls of poison into the wind
Blink, triggered fingers pointed
Volcanic anger flares
A fist on a horses face
Lawlessness a momentary lapse

Blink, where will you strike next?
We suppress you
We support you
Following the artificial sun through the cracks
You rise again
As we turn on one another
The elusive phantom, a master chameleon
Spawning and stretching into an unknown vastness

Blink, yes, you are here to stay
You can’t be killed
You can’t be destroyed
Blink, neither can we
You will be tamed into submission
You will be a mere quiver beneath the souls of my feet
Blink, vitals diminish and you crawl away
Powerless and a mere symptom as you look out from a rock
Eye blinking.

The lighter breath of air
Sends shivers through the spine of weeping willows
As dragonflies flirt with kindle crackle
I sit somewhere under the arch of Orion
Surveying all that is mine
Blink one, on
Blink one, off.
It is lonely in the dark
Yet, here in the solitary freedom
I freely think of her
So I may be lonely;
Though I am not alone

There is a civilised glow to the horizon
As I shrink with the Jetstream of those little lights
Blink one on, blink one off
Blink two on, blink two off
I am my own trail of smoke
En route from the burning tip of a slowly decaying cigarette
How the paper wrap burns under a heavy breath
Conceding to my need of escape
Dancing in rings around the wisp of haunted words and subtle strings

I find hope in the sky that looks upon us both
Lowering clouding allowing me inside its gentle comfort
Carrying me north,
With the distant sound of memories converging as a guidance runway,
Blink one on, Blink one off
Blink two on, Blink two off

Home, within sleep, within the air
You draw breath and take me in
The seagulls are silent in honour of your first sleep
As life assimilates dream
The brain picks into memory
Extracting the clouds, leaving stars
The belt of the archer as secret camouflage of the world around.
We are dandelions, free from anchors
Sailing through the tips of reeds and listening to their silent hum in the breeze
We sail on swan back and climb interconnecting necks
They shadow a symbol of love upon the rippling stream

in moment of lift
Together into air
Over bramble and bush, teasing with the bark of trees,
Escaping greedy fingers that wish to pull us apart
Balance on branches and rest
Somewhere in the sky.

There we stay
Between the moon beams and starlight twinkle
Sleeping softly together in the arms of an archer
Blink one on, Blink two on
Here we fail to fade
Our own pollen rejuvenating us into a million lifetimes
Forever starting and ending with each other
We are the centre of calm
Sleeping softly together
Under the same sky
Above the same earth
In the blink of an eye
Blink one, blink two
You and I

In a blink of an eye everything can change
Homeless man who begs for change, people looking a him strange
They dont care about his pain,  nor his pride, and not his story
But he keeps believing god and to god be the glory.
In a blink of an eye you can lose your eyesight.
In a blink of an aye you've grown no more time to fly kites.
In a blink, can you think, that the girl that use to wink
At you in high school, turned her sorrows to a drink.
She don't see a point in living now her parents aren't living.
In a blink of an eye, their last breaths were given.
In a car crash, their bodies crushed up in a civic.
She couldn't see her parents the day she got her first ribbon.
For first place, fastest runner in the state.
So when she heard the bad news there's no doubt she ran away.
In a blink of an eye, your best friend can be gone.
His mother comes outside to him lifeless on the lawn.
In a blink of an eye, he's a victim to the hood.
He was coming home from school, trying to become a doctor is just something that he would have became.
But in a blink his life was changed.
All the knowledge in his brain but bullets never have a name.
From your first blink in the morning, all you think about is paper.
Put it first, but in a blink you meet your maker.
Tears coming to your eyes, one more blink would make you cry.
Your life is now changed in the blink of an eye.

Blink.
A quick action.
No one notices when your eyes are closed
For that one silent second.
No, millisecond.
So small, you would think that it wouldn't
matter at all.
Yet it does.

Blink.
Just one single flutter of your eyelids,
And you can miss so much.
Close your eyes in day,
Then you open them in night.
Close them during peace,
Opened to war and fight.
And fright.

Blink.
The world keeps rotating
Never-ending on its axis.
Life goes on, moves along.
Nothing stops for you,
Not even your own mind.
Your eyes might be closed,
But your brain churns with a clutter of thoughts.
Your eyes open,
But clarity is hard to see even then.

Blink.
You're not a child anymore.

Blink.
Time zooming, zipping, fast as a car.

Blink.
The next thing you know and-

Blink.
You've done it again.

Blink.
Missed something huge,
Part of your life,
Part of your world.

Blink.
Stop;
Don't let life pass you by.

Blink.
Stop blinking.
Keep your eyes open.

...Blink.
It's hard.
I know.
But you have to...

Try.

Toddling in green grass barefoot before a yellow house
           blink
First day of school
            blink
First boyfriend
            blink
Second boyfriend
             blink
Third boyfriend that lasted five years
             blink
First date, images flow, this is the one
              blink
Wedding dress, him at the alter
               blink
Newborn hands and newborn cries
               blink
Second child, just as miraculous
               blink
Walking out, no love there
               blink  
It all changes in a

                             *blink

One blink, two blink . . . You were there
On my left
With your rolls of tissue
With your nasty handwriting
With your cobalt blue pencil case
Laughing about how we were so alike
Playing innuendo bingo games
I hated wearing glasses but
You said I looked handsome with it on
Past

Three blink, four blink . . . I'm not there
But you are
With your Constantine
With your batman wallet
With your white duty coat
Whining about how you hate studying medicine
Telling you to quit smoking though knowing I'm nothing for you
Wandering where it went wrong
Was it my confession that changed us?
Present

Five blink, six blink . . .
I can't . . . I don't want to!
Why?
Because I've predicted . . . I've seen it all
Please . . . continue

Five blink, six blink . . . Should I be there?
You on the aisle
With your sleek tux
With your big goofy smile
With your bride or groom or whatever tf you are into . . beside you
Seeing you happy makes me breathless
Introducing your new partner to me
- " Babe, this is my old best friend."
- " Hi, I'm . . . "

Wanted to say something
Wanted to pull out whatever that is blocking my throat
A pause . . . a breath

- " Hi, I'm his nobody."
Future

Crouched by the car, I curse at the sky,
Soaked to the bone while people turn a blind eye.

I blink.

I see myself with no mirror.
Yet it couldn't be clearer.

I blink.

This she,
These we.
They all look like me.

I blink.

All wearing the same high-tops with a wrinkled T.
The same me.

I blink.

They have died since.
Oxygen deprived arteries left behind like blueprints.

I blink.

They now resemble twisted mannequins,
Eyes lifted eternally to heaven, atoning for their sins.
Expressions all poising questions.

I blink.

I see myself, miles down my current route in a deadly collision.
Body at an unnatural angle--no seatbelt, bad decision.

I blink.

Myself at a party, sippin' on some whiskey.
A quick plop in my drink ensures I can't get away quickly.

I blink.

The high tops I wear are worn, much like myself from abuse.
Empty apologies don't make up for the blood on my shoes.
Just another victims name on the evening news.

I blink.

I was the person who held signs saying "free hugs."
Now an addict, I'm throwing up on someone else's scrubs.

I blink.

Is this my future?
Dead, abused, a user?

I blink.

A man appears, an umbrella in hand.
"Would you like some help?" He asks, helping me stand.
Where he came from I can't understand...

I blink.

"They call me Heavenly Father.
And I take care of my own--Especially my own daughter."

I blink.

"I've seen too much--What do I do?
I'll always die with a sense of déjavu."

A smile.

"I'll always be here.
Perfect love casts out all fear."

He's gone.

I realize I don't have to die from abuse or a needle in my vein.
I don't need to choose pain.
A laugh bubbles out of me as I realize, I just met God in the rain.