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kirk Newman Aug 2021
I write this for the people struggling with reality
For those finding out the space between fiction and faith is huge
Sometimes life forces you to open your eyes at inopportune times
Time that you feel like should be focused elsewhere
I'm writing this in a struggle with anxiety
I want everything accomplished now
I want the people around me better now
The process of building this foundation eats at me

I have to take a step back and enjoy life
The only thing that stands still, vanishes, and passes you by at once

People you have to realize the person who was your crutch isn't returning
They aren't coming back
You have to realize some people are staying no matter the force of separation
Open your eyes

YOU have a LOT to be grateful for
Enjoy the process while you can
Enjoy blossoming because some leaves are close to falling

I find peace in knowing I'm a healer
I find destruction in knowing people need my healing


Strength doesn't come from planning around things you know
Strength comes from looking uncertainty in the face and starting a conversation
Nobody is strong
We're all weak to some degree
Some battles tougher than others
This is why networking is paramount

My parables of pain deserve peace
So do yours

There is peace in getting through the trauma
Some journeys you have to take alone
You've taken on enough of others stress

Relax for once

If you're struggling as well, sit back and realize all the good you've caused
Realize how favored you are

You're blessed!
kirk Newman Jan 2019
As the opportunities arise, I grow impatient
Wanting greatness ever so quick
Anxiety sets in
Living in a cycle wondering is this it
I see fear as failing every area regularly
I wasn't born to be regular
I know I'm great but am I prepared for the next step
Am I truly ready
I believe I am
I used to have faith
I used to have hope
Then one day I realized why should I hope for things that I know
If I know it's going to get done
Why stress it
Why not sit back and appreciate the blessings
You know, slow down and smell the roses
Seems like I blinked and 5 years went by
How did I end up here
How did I start up here
Am I great
Or am I just like everybody else
Not knowing what's next or what's left
When partners fade away and your journey becomes singular
I think I'm just as scared as everybody else
The unknown can make you that way
Lingering wonders of daily ideas
Game plans of my immediate future
I remember the dark days so vividly
Not feeling like this was real
Like everything was make believe
Do I really understand the powers I have
Am I underestimating myself
The cordial pep talker
The one who shines light into everyone else's day
Am I really doubting what I can do
What's wrong with me
What's right with me
Does it matter if I'm wrong or right
Is that type of caring a sign of life
Why do I want to be great so bad
What does that gain for me
Will I use my powers for selfishness or for promotion of others
Alot of these answers I KNOW
But why is it so hard to act on these answers
Will I continue to cause inexcusable damage
Will I continue to cross the Atlantic for bridge burners
Why haven't I settled down
Are my standards too high
When my opportunities continue to arise will I take them in stride
Where's my pride
I know what I am
I'm great
I'm chosen
I'm ready
Greatness awaits me
kirk Newman Oct 2018
Hi gorgeous, I haven't met you yet but I've known you for a life time
I think about you 24/7 through the day and night time
I came here to talk because I know you'll listen
You gave me the type of gift that doesn't come on Christmas
The proudest moment of my life
The happiest I'll ever be
And I'll shield you from the world and make sure that you'll never be
Stained by the evil we call life
I lost your Aunt and saw nothing but darkness
And the thought of you brings me light
I can't wait to meet you baby girl
I'm so excited
I don't even know your name yet
I'll be there every step of the way, from first steps, to framed awards
I'll be there when you're bored or when you're feeling discouraged
Dad will be there to give you some courage
I'm here to make sure you achieve everything you aspire for
To be ions better than me
You're so pure
I can't believe I made you
Whenever you're falling down I'll always be there to save you
I'll fight the world for my baby girl
Just to see your smile will make it worthwhile
As I'm writing this, I'm shedding tears of joy
I never knew I could make someone so perfect
The happiest moment of my life
As I get closer to meeting you I become more nervous
I know I'm not perfect but you are
You deserve nothing less than a perfect father
A guideline to steer you to greatness
Someone to lay the foundation to your road to greatness
I knew you before you did
Crazy right?
I really love you little one
I daydream about you smile everyday
Please don't smile at me baby
You'll make your Dad melt away
I don't think I can take that type of pressure
And I'll make sure your parents get it together
Little one I'll have your back until your little ones have little ones
I promise I'll never leave you helpless
I'll always be here for you
I love you little one
kirk Newman Jun 2017
Is she my heaven
When I'm at war with the world is she my weapon
My support my light
Someone that I can one day call wife
Or is she my hell
Someone that has me so blinded that I can't see the spell
Fools gold
A fast lane addict trying to suggest for me to move slow
Is she an angel or demon

Is she the source of my happiness
Someone to comfort me when the stress is too stressful
Or maybe she's someone I give *** to
Is she the source of my anger
Blaming me for the **** that she caused
Or maybe she found me to change the fact that she's lost
Is she an angel or demon

Am I the only one that gives joy to her day
Or is she on games like she's in an arcade
Maybe she's a demon and I'm the devil
Maybe not
Maybe I'm a pirate and she's treasure
Maybe not
Maybe she's vibrant and need pleasure
Maybe so
But what's crazy though
Is that maybe taking the good with the bad is what makes us whole?
kirk Newman Jun 2016
Her mystery involves history
Reading people, adding 2 and 2 to see if she has chemistry
With another person, who's views are shaped the same so that she can see the symmetry
But in the past I've seen more legs than a guy who studies centipedes
But eventually a mystery will begin to see solutions
And the man she fell in love with is having some confusion
About who she really is and so he came to his conclusion
That his woman is a puzzle, trying to replace a piece with peace
But his piece of peace was impeached by the thoughts that she would cheat
So he tries to tame the beast with a leash but the anger is released
He didn't know his wife had slept with strangers on the street.
A building built on lies disguised with *** with plenty guys
And then she acts surprised and plays the victim with her eyes
See the Mystery is not because her history is one that wasn't sinless
But her history was a mystery for a time portrayed as endless.
kirk Newman Jan 2016
I am a *****
Minus the triggers being pulled and the drugs being sold
But just a black man bold enough to face a world so cold
A cold world we call society
When being black and sobriety doesn't mix because we use drugs in variety
But quietly
I am a *****
Thinking what made this word so negative
Is it because we made it positive
Or is it negative we became cognitive enough for a scholarship
Yes, I am a *****, no I'm not a rapper
But this system makes me sick enough for chicken soup and crackers
Yes, I am a *****, and I am an athlete
And I still maintain my sanity from having my *** beat
Although I am a *****, I am not lesser than you
Nor am I second to you
I just wonder what it takes to get the message to you
Crazy I'm a ***** yet I still know my father
Crazier calling me a ***** doesn't give me a bother
Maybe it's crazy that I'm a part of the problem
What's craziest is I'm a ***** still attending a college
You should have no problem reading this regardless of race
What's absurd is a word means more than a face
We're more focused on race than we are as a species
But I'm going to sit back and take a sip of this sweet tea
We went from black panthers, huge bushes, picks, and combs
I thought words could never hurt you?
What happened to sticks and stones?
kirk Newman Oct 2015
Some people can't handle it
Leaving your comfort zone straight to being depressed
When your feelings get dismantled
And all you feeling now is ***
You no longer connect
So you shoot her that "text", in the night,
Like "I'm moving on to the next, I'm tired of the stress I wish you the best"
And now she can't sleep, can't get her no rest
Because you was her future, and now you just like the rest
Then you tell her "be blessed"
Now she calling you foul, here come two shots from the ref
Turn into shots of patron
Turn into drunken nights, she sleep in your sweater because it still reeks of cologne
And now you're alone
Because you're tired of the break ups, the make ups, and fake bluffs, when you make love
Man I hate love
It's like you go from a great love,  it hits you like a date drug
Out of nowhere
Now it's no air, because you're suffocating from fake love.
Surrounded by females that say they want you and then proceed to give fake hugs
Go from having ***** ***, you get her wet, then you talk *****, so much dirt you can make mud
But it's safe to say, **** LOVE, leave them feelings in the rubber
Because now it's **** love until you fallen for another.
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