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Chapter 9

“Startled, I pulled away from the man’s grasp and looked at his face. Although he wore a tag that read “Hotel Security” I sensed that there was much more to him than that.
“What’s this about?” I asked sharply, noticing that he was avoiding eye contact.
Clenching his jaw, the man grabbed my arm again, this time more firmly. “Don’t worry, Red, you’ll find out soon enough.”
I hated it when guys called me Red. It was always in a smug way. “Hey, let me go!” I demanded, trying to get away from the *******. But he was strong. Immortally strong.
He ****** me against him and whispered, “Calm the hell down and you won’t get hurt.”
“Are you one of Vlad’s men?”
“You’ll have your questions answered in a few minutes. Just chill out, will you?”
“Not really having any other choice, I allowed the man to usher me away from the restaurant, toward the back of The Veil. Hotel guests watched us curiously.
“Are you okay, dear?” asked an older woman in her seventies. She had a cane and looked about ready to hit my captor with it.
“She’s fine. We don’t allow prostitutes in the hotel,” he said loudly.
Normally I wouldn’t care, but my cheeks burned with shame as the old woman stared at me with disgust.
“Harlot,” she said, glaring at me.
“I’m not a *******,” I said, gritting my teeth. Furious at the way I was being treated, I tried pulling away from him again, but he only dug his fingers into my skin deeper.
“Would you just relax?” he said, as we turned down another hallway. “I’m doing this for your own good.”
“Doesn’t feel that way on my end,” I replied angrily.
“If you’d stop fighting me, I wouldn’t have to resort to this.”
“Then tell me what the hell this is about!”
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
I sighed loudly.
We stopped at a door that was marked ‘Security’ and he led me inside. To my surprise, there was a long conference desk with two men sitting next to it.
“Is this her, Nate?” asked one of them, a blonde Nordic-looking guy in an expensive suit.
“She’s just as he described. Plus, she has the mark,” said the guy, releasing my arm.
I rubbed the skin where his fingers had pressed cruelly. “You mean the mark on my wrist from your fingers, *******?”
“Sorry,” said Nate, addressing the two men at the table more than me. “She kept trying to get away.”
“Leave us,” ordered the blonde, frowning at Nate.
“Yes, sir.” Nate turned and walked out the door.
I sighed wearily, wishing I would have never gotten out of bed. “So, who in the hell are you people?”
“I’m sorry, lass. My name is Aiden Rylan and this is Maximus Johnson,” said the blonde, his Irish accent noticeable now.
I folded my arms under my chest, studying both men. Both of them were undeniably rugged, handsome, and obvious big-shots. “And why should that matter to me?”
Aiden’s lip[…]”
“Natel’s part in it. The ******* had made me look like a cheap *****. “Who is this mutual acquaintance?”
“Doris Hart,” said Maximus.
Another surprise. “Really? And how do you know Dorian?” I asked, now sitting down.
“The three of us are long-time friends,” said Aiden.
“But you’re lycan,” I replied. From what I’d gathered over the years, most weren’t too chummy with vampires.
“Yes. We’ve learned to push our differences aside,” said Andrew, his eyes twinkling.
“The truth is that we don’t judge anyone unless they pose a threat,” said Maximus. “And we’ve known Doris Hart for several years. He’s done us favors and now we’re returning one for him.”
“And that is to protect me?” I said, flattered that Doris was still worried about me. He must have really loved my mother.
“Yes. He was very adamant on that. Sorry for your loss, by the way,” said Andrew, his face turning somber.
At the mention of my mother’s death, I looked down at my nails, trying not to tear up. “Thanks.”
“I never met Lilith, but Andrew knew her,” said Maximus, his voice kind.
Surprised, I looked at Andrew. “You did? Really?”
“Actually, I only met[…]”
“He leaned back in his chair, a faraway look now in his eyes. “I guess it was mostly about Vlad and her dealings with him.”
“Why would she confide in you about him?” I asked angrily. The fact that she’d spoken openly about Vlad with him, a stranger, and not me, hurt.
“Because she knew that we were enemies,” said Aiden. “I had no idea that you were his daughter, however. Not until Doris mentioned it on the phone. Your mother obviously didn’t trust anyone with that information”
I relaxed. “What else did Doris tell you?”
“He’s worried about you,” said Andrew . “He says that your life is in danger and you’re not taking it seriously.”
“Believe me, I’m taking it seriously,” I said, smiling grimly.
“Do you know exactly what you’re up against?” asked Maximus.
“I know that Vlad wants me dead.”
“You should also know that he usually gets what he wants,” said Aiden, frowning.
“And that’s why Doris asked if we’d offer you protection,” added Maximus. “You need our help.”
“Thanks for the offer but I don’t need protection from you or Doris ,” I said, running a hand through my hair. “I can take care of myself[…]”
“and is bent on capturing you. Believe me, he has the money and the resources to do just that.”
“Don’t be fooled by my appearance. I might look easy on so many levels, especially in this outfit,” I mused, “but I’m not. If I don’t want to be caught, I won’t.”
“Your confidence is commendable, but it’s going to get you killed,” warned Maximus. “Believe me, I know. I’ve caught many criminals with that same attitude. They get too cocky for their own good and make mistakes.”
So he was a cop. “I’m not being cocky.” I stood up. “I’m just saying that this is my problem and I’ll handle it on my own.”
“Even if you don’t have to?” asked Maximus, as I walked toward the door.
Sighing, I turned around. “Look, I certainly appreciate the offer, I really do. But, I’ll be fine.”
“At least do us a favor and disappear,” said Aiden. “Get out of town before they find you.”
“I’m planning on it,” I admitted. “By the way, how did you two know where to find me?”
“Your partner, Alex Shafer,” said Maximus. “I take it he didn’t call you to tell you we’d be[…]”
“started on stock options. Please.”
Aiden chuckled. “I’ve helped you, haven’t I?”
“Yes, and for that I’m very grateful,” replied Maximus.
“So, when did you talk to Alex?” I asked, changing the subject. I had no interest in talking about stocks, bonds, or anything financial.
“About thirty minutes ago. He said you’d be doing a job here,” replied Maximus.
I dialed Alex’s number, but he didn’t answer. Sighing, I sent him a text, telling him to call me. Then I slipped my phone back into my purse. “Well, I wish I could say it was a pleasure meeting the both you. I’m sure under different circumstances,” I smiled wickedly, “the pleasure would have be all mine.”
Andrew ‘s eyes roved over my body and he grinned. “Oh, lass, I doubt that. I’m pretty sure that the pleasure would have been mutual.”
Laughing, Maximus stood up and held out his card. “In all seriousness, please give me a call if you need help.”
I took it. “Thank you. Detective Maximus Johnson, huh?”
“Call me Max.”
“Okay, Max. Thanks again.” My cell phone began to vibrate. I pulled it back out of my purse and noticed that Alex had sent me a[…]”











Chapter 9

“Startled, I pulled away from the man’s grasp and looked at his face. Although he wore a tag that read “Hotel Security” I sensed that there was much more to him than that.
“What’s this about?” I asked sharply, noticing that he was avoiding eye contact.
Clenching his jaw, the man grabbed my arm again, this time more firmly. “Don’t worry, Red, you’ll find out soon enough.”
I hated it when guys called me Red. It was always in a smug way. “Hey, let me go!” I demanded, trying to get away from the *******. But he was strong. Immortally strong.
He ****** me against him and whispered, “Calm the hell down and you won’t get hurt.”
“Are you one of Vlad’s men?”
“You’ll have your questions answered in a few minutes. Just chill out, will you?”
“Not really having any other choice, I allowed the man to usher me away from the restaurant, toward the back of The Veil. Hotel guests watched us curiously.
“Are you okay, dear?” asked an older woman in her seventies. She had a cane and looked about ready to hit my captor with it.
“She’s fine. We don’t allow prostitutes in the hotel,” he said loudly.
Normally I wouldn’t care, but my cheeks burned with shame as the old woman stared at me with disgust.
“Harlot,” she said, glaring at me.
“I’m not a *******,” I said, gritting my teeth. Furious at the way I was being treated, I tried pulling away from him again, but he only dug his fingers into my skin deeper.
“Would you just relax?” he said, as we turned down another hallway. “I’m doing this for your own good.”
“Doesn’t feel that way on my end,” I replied angrily.
“If you’d stop fighting me, I wouldn’t have to resort to this.”
“Then tell me what the hell this is about!”
“You’ll find out soon enough.”
I sighed loudly.
We stopped at a door that was marked ‘Security’ and he led me inside. To my surprise, there was a long conference desk with two men sitting next to it.
“Is this her, Nate?” asked one of them, a blonde Nordic-looking guy in an expensive suit.
“She’s just as he described. Plus, she has the mark,” said the guy, releasing my arm.
I rubbed the skin where his fingers had pressed cruelly. “You mean the mark on my wrist from your fingers, *******?”
“Sorry,” said Nate, addressing the two men at the table more than me. “She kept trying to get away.”
“Leave us,” ordered the blonde, frowning at Nate.
“Yes, sir.” Nate turned and walked out the door.
I sighed wearily, wishing I would have never gotten out of bed. “So, who in the hell are you people?”
“I’m sorry, lass. My name is Aiden Rylan and this is Maximus Johnson,” said the blonde, his Irish accent noticeable now.
I folded my arms under my chest, studying both men. Both of them were undeniably rugged, handsome, and obvious big-shots. “And why should that matter to me?”
Aiden’s lip[…]”
“Natel’s part in it. The ******* had made me look like a cheap *****. “Who is this mutual acquaintance?”
“Doris Hart,” said Maximus.
Another surprise. “Really? And how do you know Dorian?” I asked, now sitting down.
“The three of us are long-time friends,” said Aiden.
“But you’re lycan,” I replied. From what I’d gathered over the years, most weren’t too chummy with vampires.
“Yes. We’ve learned to push our differences aside,” said Andrew, his eyes twinkling.
“The truth is that we don’t judge anyone unless they pose a threat,” said Maximus. “And we’ve known Doris Hart for several years. He’s done us favors and now we’re returning one for him.”
“And that is to protect me?” I said, flattered that Doris was still worried about me. He must have really loved my mother.
“Yes. He was very adamant on that. Sorry for your loss, by the way,” said Andrew, his face turning somber.
At the mention of my mother’s death, I looked down at my nails, trying not to tear up. “Thanks.”
“I never met Lilith, but Andrew knew her,” said Maximus, his voice kind.
Surprised, I looked at Andrew. “You did? Really?”
“Actually, I only met[…]”
“He leaned back in his chair, a faraway look now in his eyes. “I guess it was mostly about Vlad and her dealings with him.”
“Why would she confide in you about him?” I asked angrily. The fact that she’d spoken openly about Vlad with him, a stranger, and not me, hurt.
“Because she knew that we were enemies,” said Aiden. “I had no idea that you were his daughter, however. Not until Doris mentioned it on the phone. Your mother obviously didn’t trust anyone with that information”
I relaxed. “What else did Doris tell you?”
“He’s worried about you,” said Andrew . “He says that your life is in danger and you’re not taking it seriously.”
“Believe me, I’m taking it seriously,” I said, smiling grimly.
“Do you know exactly what you’re up against?” asked Maximus.
“I know that Vlad wants me dead.”
“You should also know that he usually gets what he wants,” said Aiden, frowning.
“And that’s why Doris asked if we’d offer you protection,” added Maximus. “You need our help.”
“Thanks for the offer but I don’t need protection from you or Doris ,” I said, running a hand through my hair. “I can take care of myself[…]”
“and is bent on capturing you. Believe me, he has the money and the resources to do just that.”
“Don’t be fooled by my appearance. I might look easy on so many levels, especially in this outfit,” I mused, “but I’m not. If I don’t want to be caught, I won’t.”
“Your confidence is commendable, but it’s going to get you killed,” warned Maximus. “Believe me, I know. I’ve caught many criminals with that same attitude. They get too cocky for their own good and make mistakes.”
So he was a cop. “I’m not being cocky.” I stood up. “I’m just saying that this is my problem and I’ll handle it on my own.”
“Even if you don’t have to?” asked Maximus, as I walked toward the door.
Sighing, I turned around. “Look, I certainly appreciate the offer, I really do. But, I’ll be fine.”
“At least do us a favor and disappear,” said Aiden. “Get out of town before they find you.”
“I’m planning on it,” I admitted. “By the way, how did you two know where to find me?”
“Your partner, Alex Shafer,” said Maximus. “I take it he didn’t call you to tell you we’d be[…]”
“started on stock options. Please.”
Aiden chuckled. “I’ve helped you, haven’t I?”
“Yes, and for that I’m very grateful,” replied Maximus.
“So, when did you talk to Alex?” I asked, changing the subject. I had no interest in talking about stocks, bonds, or anything financial.
“About thirty minutes ago. He said you’d be doing a job here,” replied Maximus.
I dialed Alex’s number, but he didn’t answer. Sighing, I sent him a text, telling him to call me. Then I slipped my phone back into my purse. “Well, I wish I could say it was a pleasure meeting the both you. I’m sure under different circumstances,” I smiled wickedly, “the pleasure would have be all mine.”
Andrew ‘s eyes roved over my body and he grinned. “Oh, lass, I doubt that. I’m pretty sure that the pleasure would have been mutual.”
Laughing, Maximus stood up and held out his card. “In all seriousness, please give me a call if you need help.”
I took it. “Thank you. Detective Maximus Johnson, huh?”
“Call me Max.”
“Okay, Max. Thanks again.” My cell phone began to vibrate. I pulled it back out of my purse and noticed that Alex had sent me a[…]”























Sent from my iPhone
Listen to me Aiden, and listen to me well
Don't say goodbye, 'cause you love her like hell
You know that she's everything to you,
So listen to me; here is what you do,
Find her and tell her how perfect she is
tell her quickly, before she is his.
You need her, you love, you really do
Why would you let anything stop you?
She is your light, your life, your love
Swear to me Aiden, upon god above
You won't give up on her, won't say goodbye
At least not until you give this a try
She is your everything, she's perfect to you
and tell her you still love her, 'cause I know you do.
A letter to me, for later, for the next time something like that happens and I get close to losing her
Red Bergan Apr 2014
My veins pulse,
with every breathing stride.
As we collide,
Sword to sword.

Midstream you pivot,
Slashing towards my skin.
I flourish.
Blocking the ****.

You try with every effort,
You learned from your father well.
The lord of fire,
Shalt not let you fail.

Windmilling,
You fall to the ground.
Hiding your eyes in that black hair.
You never hide them well.

I kneel down,
Tilting your chin up for you to see.
A smile on my face.
The smile of a proud mother.

"Aiden,
You have done well my son..
Now teach the other five.
And you have won."
A mother and son thing. NO I AM NOT A MOM. To young, will wait for a long time.
Jasmine Oct 2014
You make my cheeks burn brighter than Charizard's flame,
And make my heart beat faster than Sonic The Hedgehog on Green Hill Zone,
You calm me down like you're Lugia's song,
And you make me laugh harder than a boss level itself.

If you were the doctor I'd jump in the Tardis without a second glance,
And fight daleks and weeping angels just for the chance,
To grasp your hand.

Out of all the starter Pokemon,
I'd still choose you,
And never trade you away,
Not even for Mewtwo,

You're rarer than a shiny Pokeman and mean more to me than that,
You're hotter than Aiden Turner and Ash,
If you're Link then I'd love to be your Zelda,
The princess you save over and over.

Like Tetris itself you complete me,
You hold the key to my heart,
And I'd proudly go on a quest to reclaim Erebor if you were by my side.

I know this poem is nerdy,
But I hope you find it sweet,
Because I find without you,
My life wouldn't be complete.

Copyright© 2014 Megan John
All rights reserved.
This poem was written by one of my close friends Megan John, she wanted me to publish it for her. Hope you like it.
South City Lady  Aug 2020
verdict
South City Lady Aug 2020
I wait alone
wrapped in paper
shivering amidst cold
the door pressed hard
against my chest

this time a year ago
I met a similar fate
the verdict returned
       cancer
a word my mind
has deconstructed
reconstructed
discarded
as my past

tears erupt behind
my eyes
how can I afford
to fight again
at what cost
and during
a pandemic

the door **** twists
as she emerges
eyes averted
my throat scored
in pain
"It's benign,
come back
6 months from now"

unable to move
I peer through haze
minutes tease silence
then with
trembling fingers
I dial his number
Aiden answers
    "Mom, you okay?"
nodding tearfully
with newfound certainty
I finally whisper, "Yes!"
This time last year, I was undergoing surgery for breast cancer. The year of recovery was difficult.  The tests came back with more unknowns. I waited 6 months to learn at last I'm one year cancer free. Each year will get easier, but for now, I am a survivor. 💕
Said Person  Jun 2015
For Aiden
Said Person Jun 2015
Bricks are red,
Some Nerf darts are blue.
All I wanted to say is:
Bro, you ****.
For a wonderful friend of mine whom I love dearly (but let him never hear me say this).

This is me having the wacky idea to write a series of poems for my friends.
jackie  Feb 2021
aiden (2)
jackie Feb 2021
i don't think i'll ever forget you
you'll move on, and i'll be stuck
i'm not bitter,
i just remembered
how much you made me feel
Chapter 10

“I started to panic. “Do you think they’re setting a trap?”
“It would make sense,” said Max. “Drawing you to a place you’d feel comfortable…”
My cell began to ring and I sighed in relief when I saw that it was Alex. Obviously, we were jumping to conclusions. “Thank God. It’s him.” I answered the phone. “Hello?”
“Hi,” said Alex. “Sorry I missed the last call. I was in the other room, pouring myself a ****** Rickie.”
I smirked. Rickie was one of Alex’s blood donors. He paid him very well for it, too. “No problem. So, what’s going on? The other clients have really canceled?”
“No, I canceled. It’s too dangerous to be out, trolling for unfaithful husbands. Not with that monster looking for you. Why didn’t you tell me about Victor Montour, Racheal ?”
I rubbed my forehead. How much did Alex know? “I didn’t want to worry you.”
“You’re the one who needs to be worried. From what I hear, that man is hell-bent on locating you, and it’s not for any family reunion.”
“So, you know that he’s my father?”
“I do now. Jesus, I thought my family was dysfunctional.”
I noticed that Andrew and[…]”
“I know, right? She’s a nervous wreck right now. Anyway, it took me a while to calm her down and when I did, I realized that Max probably had you in his custody by then.”
“Yeah.”
“How did that go?”
“What do you think it went? I made a scene.”
He chuckled. “I wish I would have been there. Did you **** the life-force out of anyone?”
“No, but I should have. I was treated like a *******. It wasn’t pretty.”
He clucked his tongue. “I’m sorry. I should have warned you.”
“Yes. You should have.”
“So, you’re going to let them protect you, right?”
“I don’t need it.”
“Jez…”
“I’ll be fine.”
Alex groaned. “I told them you’d refuse.”
“You know me well,” I said, smiling. “Anyway, back to Mrs. Strom, her husband is having dinner with another woman as we speak. I can at least finish that job.”
“Don’t worry about that right now, JD. Just get your *** back to the office so we can talk more about this.”
“What about your ‘date’?”
“Peter already left.”
“You blew him off?” I asked, surprised.
“Something like that,” he replied, a smile in his voice. “But, don’t[…]”
“No problem. Would you like an escort?” asked Aiden. “We can find one for you.”
I fluttered my eyelashes. “What about you?”
His eyes widened and he smiled. “Well –”
“That wouldn’t be a good idea,” interrupted Maximus. “We need to keep a low profile. Especially you, Aiden.”
He was about to protest, when I held up my hand. “Honestly, I was just kidding anyway. Like I told you before, I’m fine on my own. I appreciate the offer, though.”
Aiden stood up and pulled out his wallet. “Please take my business card, too.” He took one out and handed it to me. “If you find yourself in a situation… and can’t reach Max, don’t hesitate to call me.”
“Okay,” I said, my opinion of lycan changing by the second. While I didn’t know much about them, I knew they weren’t always interested in helping others outside of their… breed. Of course, from the way that Aiden was looking at me, he was probably interested in escorting me to the safety of my bedroom. “I’ll remember that.”
Grinning, his eyes swept over my little outfit again. “And I will definitely remember you.”
I shoved his business card into my purse[…]
bre  Feb 2011
my utopia
bre Feb 2011
i sit here all alone in my zone
and i wonder about the unknown

no one is here for they come and they go
when someone will stay i shall never know

i think about what matters and what i truly love the most
so to my Aiden i shall make a toast:

i toast for all the happiness that life may bestow and destroy
and i toast for my cautiousness because life is not a toy

i toast for the memories that everyone might share
and i toast for my friends and family who really do care

i toast that the good are rewarded and the bad pay the price
and i toast that i live long and right, living in my paradise
bp 2006
My mind is going so fast that it feels like it's pounding and burning
I'm Just laying here in my bed eyes open sweating, tossing and turning
Just go away so i don't lay here and weep , so i can try for some peaceful sleep
There's so many memories my head is wanting me to go back and meet.
Memories I've hidden far away in a very deep dark place
Begging, pleading and fighting for these things to never show face
When I had my beautiful 1st son Phillipe , that gave me so much happiness and bliss.
Taken and stolen you were , all your moments in   life that Cps forced me to miss
I tried calling one day to set up our court ordered visit
Only to be told he's not yours anymore so you should just forget it
His father was nothing more then a quick bang with no lust
7114 days we haven't had us cause court said it was a must
Or the one guy Eric  that liked to **** me and my sister
Then we both were badly ***** by this sorry *** mister
All the family i grew up with that i love and so very miss
Have seem to forgotten who i am and thati even exist
When my mom was always out partying bringing different guys home every  night
Growing up i never had a permanent father that ever treated me right
My dad was just a coward that killed himself because he had no strength to fight
Mr. Green the old man neighbor died right in front of my 9 yr old eyes
Thats the moment i realized everyone i love always dies
Two times taken because family and neighbors couldn't stay out of our lives
Seeing my mom in weekly visitation and having to say painful goodbyes
Or what about the physical and emotional abuse the foster parents loved to share
The abuse and neglect was way worse there then in my mom's care
Why must you run me through all these horrible memories  I just can not continue to bare
The molestation I've never told anyone about and have hidden so deep and oh so well
You Keith ,should die and burn forever in the flames of hell
My old step dad ****** me up so bad , telling anyone would have lead to my death
So I've promised myself I'll  keep his secret til my very last breath
I found my friend Crack , he helped take all the pain you caused away.
When  my mom kicked you out was to me a beautiful day
The times i was stupid and people had to post my bail
******* brain, why tonight do you decided to put me through hell
All these painful memories are not something i truly miss
Remember Shaun the first man of my fantasy  dream
Never in life could i imagine that he would just be so mean
It started with only a few slaps then went to big hits
Then  black eyes and broken bones that came from his fits
I very easily made myself believe abuse equalled  love
That you were  a guardian angel sent from the heavens above
It took so much courage to finally make myself pack up and leave
My life would have been taken by you and that's what i truly believe
Megan my beautiful baby is the only wonderful thing that came from him
He doesn't even know who she is, being a bad dad should be one of the 7 deadly sins
One day i hope you open your eyes and finally put the bottle down
Because At this point in her life she really needs her father around
My life was getting a lot better,  i swear that's what my beautiful eyes saw
Only to be handed and introduced to the worst best friend of them all
You made me feel so great, happy and invincible and so tall
I fell so in love and couldn't live without you at all my friend ****
I refused to ever leave your  side and the crazy high unless it was by death
Until she took me to that nasty cold frightening Jail cell
Couldn't even get out she took all my money i had nothing for bail
After that i left you because you dragged me through hell
Found my next buddy so dark and brown he's so smooth we'll just call him Crown
With you i could let all my fears and walls completely down
I had finally  found the man I thought I'd share and make a perfect life with
Life was so amazing ,but super blinding that no one could see it was a myth
Loneliness and depression and sadness was underneath all the happiness lies
Your words taught me to feel pain from a heart that slowly dies
Screaming, fighting and crying is what the kids always were around
Problems could have been fixed, yet you didn't want them found
Your goal In life was for people to see me as lazy and crazy
You did a great job putting the wool over thier eyes making them all see hazy
The abortion i was forced  by you to have done
I'll never ever forget or forgive you for that ***
All the Emotional abuse that filled the walls of our lovely house
Narcissistic love was hidden by you always being as quiet as a mouse
Don't  get me wrong , you and i accomplished a Lot,
I just wish you would have given effort a little more of a shot
Collage was beautiful to me, finishing was my ultimate goal
But you said Gymdoll came first and ripped collage right out of my soul
Two beautiful children  Aiden and Caylin were your only wonderful gift
The 11 years we shared ended and ended very swift
You did the same thing as Megan's father did before
You gave up and forgot about your kids as you walked out that door
It's so very sad when you always make your kids become last
I never knew you'd walk away and actually do it so fast
Met a lady named Nellie and connected on a beautiful best friend level
Only to have  her taken from me, did you know cancer is the worst ******* devil
She was my ride or die,  we were always side by side
The day you you passed a huge chunk of me also died
What about the time i got hit by the van and walked away with a broken back
My lawyer ****** me so  bad and ran off with all my money in a sack
Left me to live a life with nothing but horrible unbearablpe untreatable pain
Eating through pain pills daily just to be able to live life and try my hardest to maintain
Why did the 17 times i tried to end my life never  could be completed
And all these painful memories get permanently deleted
Why do i  go thru all of this **** every once in awhile
Couldn't you just please brake my bad memory dial.
Can they please just go away so they'll never replay
I could sit and scream and yell this to myself everyday
Yet I'm  very aware as to why this keeps going on and on
1000 times over I've heard it,  seems too be my brains favorite  song
I know my life is beautiful,fulfilled,overflowing with love
That i have many beautiful Angels watching me from above
My brain does this so that I'll always remember what my life used to be
So i can remember all the pain and bad thats happened to me
My brain is doing an important job by making sure my gratitude never lacks
So that I'll always remember and never  convince myself to go back
Even if i don't for one day sleep,i know it's ok too lay here and softly weep
It's showing me, my happiness is well earned and for me to keep.
I'll never forget any of my awful past
It's what keeps my happiness last
kenye May 2013
I keep seeing hints of you
  In forced synchronicity
   Where everything adds up to 5
    Maybe it's a sign
     Or I'm losing my ******* mind again

     Did you catch the hint?
    Is the madman manifesting?
   Impulsive manic mood swings to paper
  Filling out with the Full Moon
As the Maiden waxes away

I'm watching
  Light up my sacral bond
   Lightning strikes
    like shotgun blows to the sky
     A peephole into Heaven's locker room

     Blame it on the the rain
    You caught me off guard
   Out of sync
  Girl you know it's true
That we're stranger than fiction

My siren in the satire
  Muse in the mayhem of my mind
   I could be your Vonnegut
    As I'm Freudian slipping
     On my spilled guts in the 5th slaughterhouse
or so it goes...

— The End —