I have sons spread around the world
birthed by different girls
foundation built in my arms.
recognition of the need of men
of the Love of a woman,
for a woman to guide his heart,
to open his eyes to his start.

she whispered,

the power of the son.
he is of she, penetrates the sea
and births anew.
she the prototype, the official
original, the womb.

woman, her scent alarms the masses.
and we scream now.
we scream and we cry
we live in angst in our homes,
our men are concerned.
yet our pheromones sense things,
weather and other perturbations.

mothers voice in the heart of her children,
daughters tend to stay closer to home.
women, we hear the call!
as we quiet our longing drawl,
the pull we feel to somewhere, we know not of
a place beyond the beauty of our eyes,
we know,
we remember,
our requirements as a creator.

ours, the power of the reflection
of the full moon,
the trees dance in the monthly celebration,
though in the desert, I've seen a few
who,
when the moon is too full,
too reflective of its presence,
they fold to hide from the light.
knowing whats best for themselves, I trust.

I just can't help but to choose to stand
with Her.
stand in Her light, my mouth
opens for the gift.
the thirst quenched.
head tilted back, think of
the men of the world.
if I could just hug them.

as Ms Badu claims
I bet you LOVE can make it better …
I bet too.
I bet I can heal you.
open your heart, peal the bitter,
drain the water, raise the alter.
praise the lover, embrace as a Mother.
pour into the builder, the sender.
release his true endeavors.
release the tension in his body,
helping him to know
mind over matter.
plugging him into the true
creative power
of his ***, his gift of Love,
of his body penetrating another.
what his self is communicating,
what his seed is sprouting.

he needs our healing.
his heart is calling, and he's stomping around
like a little boy! I have sons, they stomp around…
they need mommys love,
mommys extra love.
she, calls us to her sons.
new normals, open our hearts
health always to follow.

Do you know the muffin man?,
Its not a nursery rhyme,
He haunts kids dreams with horrid scenes,
The scream from time to time.

His apron smelled of cinnamon,
His finger nails were clean,
He brought the nicest cookies home,
Mommys face would gleam.

He came to school two days a wek,
And gave out yummy pasties,
He chose kids very carefully,
Rejection made him nasty.

She found it out the hard way,
When she pulled away from him,
He told them she was telling lies,
He tore her from within.

Her mommy looked so horrified,"How could you?",
She would say,
"Poor daddy brings such good things home,
You will be sent away".

Society believed this man,
And Cherry went away,
Asylum life was home for her,
For 10 years and 4 days.

So many children broke their silence,
And accusations heightened,
They spoke of muffins molestations,
Mommy became frightened.

They came in droves to talk to Cherry,
From shrinks to talk show hosts,
They helped her open up,
And talk about those childhood ghosts.

Now, muffin man has ***** hands,
And spends his life in prison,
But left behind are countless kids,
Cause mommy wouldn't listen ...

Mommy mommy pleas wake up
I don't want to lose you
all this time is not enough
Mommy pleas mommy open your eyes
you look like your sleeping so why cant you rise
Their putting you down into a box
you look pretty why don't you open up your eyes
grandma sais im staying with her tonight
Mommy im young but I can see them cry
when I ask weir you are they say that you died
But mom that's not true you  cant be gone
you taught me a lot expect  how to live without you
mommy pleas mommy open up your eyes I don't know much but angels arnt supposed to die

"When I was Growing Up"

Cocky boy, fresh of nineteen,
Kept his sense of power keen.
Muscular arms, sureful smile,
Every ******* his phone's speed dial.

"Hey Big Bro," his brother said,
"Come tuck me in, it's time for bed."
The boy just shrugged, saying "Do it yourself,
When I grew up, I didn't have help"

So he went to bed peacefully that night,
Without putting up much of a fight,
Pillow touching his bearded face,
Thoughts as far away as outer space.

"Wake up, wake up, it's time for school."
"Mom, I drive, you think I'm THAT uncool?"
"Get up now, you know you can't drive,
Only fifteen years you've been alive!"

He looked into the mirror, and then he saw,
He looked so young, and wasn't very tall.
His muscles gone, you could see his bones.
A Gameboy took the place of his phone.

As he began to get ready, his mom was still home.
"Son, you're too young to be here alone."
She packed up the lunch he normally fixed,
He looked in the mirror and now he was six.

Why is this happening? What's going on?
All the things he once had were now gone.
He tried to look in the mirror, but he was too short,
Now he sat in the living room, in a blanket fort.

His brother laughed, he was much older.
The boy was tiny, not even up to his shoulder.
Mom was outside getting into her Viper,
And he just realized, he'd wet his diaper.

An uncomfortable feeling, he begged to his brother,
"Please change my diaper, I don't see mother."
His brother replied, "Hey kid, tough luck,
I didn't have anyone help me when I grew up."

The boy was so helpless, in embarrassed dismay,
If his friends saw him now, what would they say?
He woke up, saw his brother, gave the mirror a stare,
Stroked the beard on his face and decided to care.


----------------------------------------------------------------­

"Color Me In"

My life was a dull gray,
A soft monotone.
Till you came into my life,
And gave part of your own.

The colors appeared to me,
One by One.
As you showed me their meaning,
My life had begun.

Color me red,
Of passion, of blood.
Show me the intensity,
Your love like a flood.

Color me orange,
Electric and fire.
To be with you truly,
Is the one thing I desire.

Color me yellow
Of sunshine so bright.
Keep me so warm,
And hide away the night.

Color me green,
Of natural beauty.
The forest could never match,
What you do to me.

Color me blue,
Of the ocean's high tide.
It's not as great as my love,
And not nearly as wide.

Color me purple,
Like flowers in the field.
This isn't a dream,
This time it's real.

In a world of black and grey,
Color seems so unreal.
It's like fantasy to me,
How you make me feel.

I'll paint you a picture,
To show what you've done.
No more black and white,
You gave me the sun.

-------------------------------------------

Dressed head to toe in army gear
He'd cut his hair and shaved his beard
He brushed the brown hair out of her face
For one more  time, he'd get her taste
He looked at her for one last time
Neither wanted to say goodbye
So he held her there as long as he could
Saying baby i'll be alright
It felt as if she couldn't let go
But how would she know
If her baby was safe and if he was okay.
So that night she got on her knees and prayed
God, up in heaven.
Keep him safe and let him know
I'll be here waiting wherever he goes.
Help me grow and stay strong
Help these years not seem so long
I'll be okay here all alone
Until time for him to come back home.
He wrote to her from different places
Saying after seeing all these faces
I wish one could be yours.
I'm holding out over here,
But one things sure, I miss you dear,
My arms feel empty cause
This gun can't replace you.
She wrote to him
Scribbled out in pen
The words I love you
Please come back home.
And she prayed,
God, up in heaven.
Keep him safe and let him know
I'll be here waiting wherever he goes.
Help me grow and stay strong
Help these years not seem so long
I'll be okay here all alone
Until time for him to come back home
Three years passed, living in letters,
She was all grown up and changed for the better
About to check the mail when a car pulled in
A roughed up boy in army green
She couldn't believe what she'd seen
After all these years, he'd come home.
She wrapped her arms around that man
Saying I'll never let you leave again
He said, doll, don't worry,
He smiled, pulled a ring out
Said, baby this is what love is about,
Will you be my wife?
She didn't even have to think
Eyes filled up with tears and her cheeks turned pink
Like out of a book,
Her dream came true.
She didn't ever know what to do
But she kissed his lips and yes
And as she walked down the aisle in her dress,
She knew that he was home to stay
But she still remembered those nights she'd prayed
God, up in heaven.
Keep him safe and let him know
I'll be here waiting wherever he goes.
Help me grow and stay strong
Help these years not seem so long
I'll be okay here all alone
Until time for him to come back home
My baby's come back home

_______________

"Daddy Why?"



Daddy, why'd you have to go.I sure would like to know Why you left mommy and me here alone.

Daddy why? Why'd you leave? Mommys on the floor crying And all I can do is grieve.

Daddy where'd you go?Won't you please tell me?Because that I don't know


Mommy wanted the pain to stop,Daddys racing time on the clock. Mommy wanted to be a better wife Now, Daddys fighting for his life.It makes me wonder where I stand,I just wish I could bring you home again.

Daddy, whats this I feel?I'm always sad, The pain is unreal.

Daddy, I know you hate it when I cry,But what do I do now?There's no one to wipe the tears from my eyes.

Daddy where are you?To find out I'd search the whole world through.


Mommy wanted the pain to stop,Daddys racing time on the clock. Mommy wanted to be a better wife Now, Daddys fighting for his life.It makes me wonder where I stand,I just wish I could bring you home again.

Daddy why? Eight years later I remember The day as I cry.

Daddy, is it true? Will you remember me?Cause I'll always remember you.


Mommy wanted the pain to stop,Daddys racing time on the clock. Mommy wanted to be a better wife Now, Daddys fighting for his life.It makes me wonder where I stand,I just wish I could bring you home again.

Mommys a glorified ******
With her 50 some year old married boyfriend
Favorite aunt is a stripper
Used to walk in on her shows
Daddy's a drug pusher
Gave me my fist high at 12
Granny's a kleptomaniac
Must be where I get it from
And it don't stop there
The show goes on
Drug addicts galore
To add plenty of drama
Then there's the snitch branch
Well to do Christians
My biological grandfather
Who says 14 is too old for his tastes
Plenty of violence
To keep things perked up
And everyone on their toes
Welcome, my friends, to the freak show.

Wishing for a safety net.
So many scary memories she hopes she'll forget.
________

Daddy's always working - never around.
When mommy's here: Shh! She dare not make an unpermitted sound.

All too often she wakes with a start.
BANG! "AH!" Like a defibrillator shocking her heart.

Bedroom door rebounds off the wall.
Under the covers she tries to crawl.

I mustn't move. Have to keep still.
Please leave. Please leave. She prays that she will.

"Where's Mommys' girl? Hmm? My little star?"
The sheets are slowly withdrawn.
"There you are!"
That tone of voice makes her wish that she was never born.

You get high to create a new reality of this **** you call life
You get money anyway you can because you need cash to fuel your addiction
You get angry because you get caught and your new found reality gets torn to pieces
You feel suffocated because the only way you know how to breathe is through smoke
You grow depressed because the only company you had was your broken thoughts
But sometimes it's not only you that gets affected
While you get high, the ones closest to you become confused
While you sell and steal, your little sister wonders why her mommys ring is in your drawer
While you get angry your mom gets scared because she just lost her little boy
While you  grow depressed your parents grow apart because they feel like they've failed
While you ruin your life
you ruin everyone else
you smash and break and scrape
and you bring every one down to where you are
because if you think your restless nights and paranoia is bad
think about what everyone else goes through
just so you can ease your pain with a temporary healer
your parents feel like failiers
your siblings feel so lost and unprotected
and you
you feel bad for yourself because you lost your high
because with withdrawal it brings selfishness
and you feel like you're going crazy
well try losing your mind
because you failed at the one job you had
just take a minute
look at it through something other than than self pity
use a new perspective
maybe just use some heart
because when you lost yourself
you lost everyone around you too
a.m.

Hand me down children
breathe off borrowed air
born from slip ups
out of the womb they come
into the arms of guilty parents
and into this world of musical chairs
where everybody's fighting for a seat

too many kids?
or not enough chairs?

hand me down children have a way
of looking at the world
a little differently
they ask why and can take a beating
they admire the shades of their bruises
they are made of the same stuff as firecrackers
they know when they are being lied to
they even know why

Hand me down children will always find each other
and love each other
Hand me down children sat in the back
and couldn't spell too well
they did stupid dares and almost died frequently
they got socks for Christmas
and made them into puppets
they weren't scared of the dark
or at least that's what they say
they slice up the night like birthday cake
and pop tires to make swings
and the world is their playground
monkey bars of lead pipes
swings of driftwood
slides of cement, toppled building halfpipes
sidewalk chalk stolen from substitute teachers
Paper cranes made out of pink slips,
merri-go-round-abouts, bikes without brakes

Hand me down children play
in mommys old sweater
daddys old socks
brothers shoes
and sisters scarves
and they play after the flashlights burn out
and after the fireflies die in their jars

In the middle of the night, when everyone is asleep,
I let myself cry, and I let myself think.

Daddys are suppose to remember when their daughters turn 13...14....and 15.

And Mommys aren't suppose to be sick and ill.

Best friends are suppose to be forever and never let you down.

Love is suppose to make you happy, not second guess everything.

And so, as I lie on my bed, in this dark, dark room,
I let myself cry, for all of my life's woes.

I try to be silent and not wake anyone up, but it's so hard, don't you know, when you're all choked up.

I want to cry myself a river.

I want to cry myself a river and float away.

Cry me a river and drown my sorrows with each tear that falls.

Drown myself in a River of Tears.