If you didn't want to hangout with me, why didn't you say so? Why did you say you were picking me up at work? And then why did you tell me to relax that you were def coming? Just to then ignore all my calls and texts? It makes no sense whatsoever to me. You say no freely all the time to me. And then you get **** through ken who I thought you hated, didn't trust and talk **** about me to him? Over some **** I thought we squashed awhile ago? Did you tell him to call me to tell me he'd seen you? Was today all some big plan that I just really don't understand at all?? I mean you knew if you told me you were coming that I was going to be wondering where you were and ****, so why do that if you had no intentions of coming through? You're last message to me was " I'm def coming through. Relax" then you fell off the face of the earth and ken starts hitting me up. Why go through all this trouble just to ******* off and hurt me when you could've simply not hit me back to tell me you were picking me up at work? And then after that, why didn't you just tell me "something came up so I can't come" instead of promising you were coming? I've been in tears almost all night. Does that mean anything to you???
I do everything and anything you ask or say you need without a second thought. Even if it ends up ****** me over. But I always have your back because I care and I don't want to see you suffer so if I can help I will even if I have to go without.. Even when you don't get me back when you say you will, if you ask me for something else I give it to you. Because I thought we had a mutual bond where we both looked out for each other. That's how things were as of Wednesday when I got money and you needed XYZ. ****, you don't even really ask anymore, you just assume I'll take care of you. But I liked that! But also because I thought it went both ways..I rarely even ever ask you to get me back unless I'm in a tight spot cause I don't care that much... I mean nothing you've done or said indicated you were truly feeling hate towards me like tonight. I'm not trying to call you a liar but has everything been a huge lie a ****** big joke? Have I been that ******* blind? Do you really feel some type of way to act and pretend how you feel about me and **** cause it'd be worth it to fake it to destroy me at some point? I literally cried my eyes out over you tonight because I thought we were past the disappearing acts, the saying you're coming and then never showing up.. I thought over the past few weeks we'd gotten closer. I mean do you really come over my house and play uno and **** for hours to fool me so you can do something ****** that takes me by surprise to really hurt my feelings? I'm ****** up over this. I'm extremely fuckex up in general.. Trying to push it as far as I can at this point.. If you don't care you coulda told me so long ago...
There was no reason to go to the extremes you went to tonight to hurt me to make a point. What point, idk... That you don't care? Hate me? Wanted to see me suffer an enormous amount? Get blown off, talked about, tricked and robbed? I've never even done anything intentional to hurt you once, where did this come from? Now I'm a mess, ****** up my hearts racing, I've already had a panic attack. I can't sleep and I thought just maybe you'd explain anything at some point. Even if some *******, I know you had to seen my messages especially after ken got involved and I might seem crazy but what just happened to me and someone saying you set me up, how could I not be hysterical?? You don't have to throw the boyfriend girlfriend thing at me either cause that's not relevant. You don't treat someone how you treated me tonight that you say you're friends with tight with In many ways, do everything with, just bonded like I thought we were. I guess what is really getting me is I was just telling someone tonight how great you are and how you treat me better then any guy I've been with in any type of relationship with. That I can be myself and that you're true to my face and behind my back.. How's that for irony??? Or a knife to the chest. I know I won't sleep tonight but I will find a way to not continue to pour my heart out and cry if this is just reality now and you just couldn't possibly care less
Oh **** I forgot one of the biggest things ken told me, That YOU WERE WITH SOME CHICK! And that's one of the things you swore you'd always be honest about, that you prided yourself on not be a cheater or scumbag like that of any kind.. And I believed you.. Even of my moments of severe paranoia jealous and worry, I believed deep down that's not the kinda guy you were and you'd never want to hurt someone the way you were hurt like that.. And when he told me that, that's what convinced me to go down there and waste money and have to deal with him even though I can't ****** stand him. He said you'd just been there with her talking **** about me and I thought, maybe they're still there and I can see with my own eyes, or maybe when I see ken in person I'll know he's lying.. But I didn't get a chance because he stole my money and ran.. Then said you told him to do it with the one response I managed to get. All that was like being punched in the gut repeatedly and I got to walk through kp crying while drug dealers asked if I ****** ****.. How true it is when you say I'm so gullible and naive. I feel so stupid like such a huge horrible joke.
You weren't supposed to make me feel this way.. Or say these words, have these doubts. You promised you weren't this way. And now I'm a confused wreck and everything hurts..