It’s a good day the lord granted.
Everything seems so perfect.
Weather is sweet.
Sun’s shining.
What could go wrong?

…….Until…..

I felt you coming.
Like a hijacker through a rear view mirror.
How I wish for a false alarm.
Dear lord may this cup pass.
A moment to accept the inevitable arrived.

Oh my God! you seized me once again.
You came like a thief at midnight.
You hijacked my mind.
You exposed me to wrath of migraines.
Horrible 30 seconds in a 24hour day.
It's like a small stain on a white garment.

The cruelty of an epileptic seizure is inevitable.
https://m.facebook.com/EpilepsyandCpfriends

you're sneaky, i'll give you that.



just when i wasn't looking

YOU

snuck into my ribcage

infiltrated the walls of cartilage

(and distrust)

and you stole it.

ripped it from the tangles of veins (and anger) and arteries (and fear)



and left me with nothing but hollow awe.



it's fine, you keep it.

Most of us carry around the present and cumulative effects of many wounds. We've experienced uncounted broken promises, unkind words, and moments when our hopes for acceptance have been brutally crushed. Some of us have experienced more overt abuse and infidelity. How do we live with that pain? ....Other people hurt us because they are drowning and doing what it takes to fill their own emptiness.. (G. Baer, M.D.)

They are lurking everywhere
just waiting to pounce.....invade.....take
all for the sake of only
themselves.
They steal what is precious
from anyone they can
feeding hunger never sated
starving in their gluttony.  

Pay attention
                   *defective
Don't let them in
                   invasive
Protect yourself
                   vindictive
From their sin
                   *destructive

Some people say Im mad I just blame the L-RAD
Attacked by services syndicate post grad
Breaking the code of conduct that's sad
Criminal cause nullify's the collaborative ad
All privileged storm troopers got more than I have
Is the conscience alive while watching that sat-nav?
As a key worker your care is what we have
But straying for a kickback is a dent & bad
The mental health stigma is the foot soldiers weapon
Labelling us mentally ill with the DSM con
Exclaiming we're mental while the victim is alone
Stigma comes from the compound hear us groan
Hearing me everywhere have traits of a stalker
Attacking innocents with energy weapons lawbreaker
Violating human rights piggy back hijacker
The conspiracy hypothesis is the startler
Whats the biological molecular structure
Of a mental health disorder
A caucus of people of who can shout louder
Followed by misrepresentation from a reporter

All the hijacker does is scream
And it is enough.
Blisters burn the brain until
A rancid tinnitus
Washes through my canyons, flooding everything
Total destruction
A later me may find small shells
Evidence that at some point
I lived
I fought
I existed
But for now, I go the way of the dinosaurs

As winters breath gives me a shy kiss,
I sink into you.
Forgive me if I make you everything
I am not accustomed to yearning in particles,
Just in crests and great heights.
The narrowing of your hands,
Your untainted Blush,
The way you annex beams,
You hijacker, You owl.
And you come in waves,
That drown me with insistence.

The eminent beauty of Mother Nature's aria of elation



Dawned in the wake of my brown eyes with passion



My ears hearkened the vague sound of thunder



Echoing from deep within the heart of the clouds



Tears began to cascade, splashing upon the earth



The moist caress of each drop kissed my lips with amour



A warm, compassionate smile spawned across my face



As the moon peaked just at the threshold of nightfall



While the sky continued to mourn in tumultuous frenzies



It was as if my virginity had been stolen in one swift motion



By a crooked but clever hijacker possessing remarkable skill



I must have fallen within a profound phantasm of true love



Without a care in the universe, I happily continued to revel within



A whirlwind of sensuous whispers emanating from this celestial paradise

as a somehow... perpetually
kissing the trough...
(that best... the spectacle of
a symphony of oinks and gruntling;
snorkeling-grit of stowing
earth with banknote promises:
like an imitation
of the dwarfian act of... mining)...
this debilitating fear:
   and kissing the feet of some
antithesis semite of
a god at the root of all temples...
i am tired of...
an arachnophobia
that has little or, rather,
nothing to do with spiders...
or a claustrophobia
that has little or no...
concern for confined space...
and such is time: relative...
that nostalgia is boasted about...
peacocking dawning sturt...
i want to live a day with
enough sufficient fear
to stage the proper: hormonal
stressors to play their role...
it's not enough to merely...
drink a numbing cushion...
         the will to life has
a precursor within the confines
of a will that never bothers
or teases the structures of
hierarchical power envy...
             i should have been
best designated for the role
of a bus-driver..
               it's not like i made
this sallow choosing of grief...
                 i wish for meeting friends
in a restaurant...
or neighbours in a supermarket
like the best of the best:
retiree...
                like the precursor years
are some new underlay of
Ultricht...
                 or Antwerp...
i'm tired of life...
this non-eventual safety seizing
plot...
              i want to marry death...
i can't begin to imagine
marriage with life: in that most
secluded sub-:
                               enim timor
                ex deus...
                 a sort of paralysis that
no seljuk turk or ottoman
hijacker care to mind...

             i'm terribly tired...
              that i wish for me death as prior
to the death of a mother...
that i sort of wield contortion
excavation loops in: "asunder":
that i cop-out...
when is it believed...
the fungus rot of the brain
without the transcending hallucination
prospects?

            my average my nuanced: "new"..
this antithesis achilles..
my southern average...
my mediocre...
           my left hook concerning broke...
time is... relative...
a death by carrying weight...
   but this... god no god...
               mors naturalis...

                 can't we find ourselves...
before... choking on...
the adventure of death:
the innocent died upon the cross...
            can't the same innocence
be shared with those willing
to make death more relative?
can't there be an unwillingness
to live this... caustic... retract rebellion
  persistence of mrs. quasi?
        
        there is absolutely no
compensation of arguments...
          my words: my little words...
        pauloverbis...
               i do advertise the prospect
of the thumb ruling in
favour of: by death confined...
i will allow the strategy of the less
exempt to rise to their highest
scope of invitation...

                         villain of words...
i am no better than the next:
and the next... no better...
                      i am subsequently
hardly a heart surgeon...
but i am also not...
a left-leaning activist...
             i carry my worth of life
on the posit for:
these words are debasing...
depressive... all the required
connotations of a negative spectrum...
because?
      death is a marriage...
             i am conscious of the:
          
quadratic!

geocentric / vs. heliocentric...
mors-centric / vs. vita-centric...

                     it really doesn't bother me:
some new Darwinistic attache of truth -
i have to be devoid of "truth"
come the: sun "above" the earth...
or the earth "beyond" an extension
of gravity... in linear...
the stars are but photographs...

it's such an itching itch
without a witness of a scratching that...
the very basic... mundane...
so censored... experiences of life...
have become...
iron curtain lifting...
   crown of thorns skidding...
                   this my little:
***** of a nuance...
last reflected upon within
the confines of some pickled
lungs... and some...
choicest of the choicest baltic sushi herrings.