Most times I think I did something wrong
As I pretend to sleep
I only focus on
the shallow breaths that hold me
I am hollow.
Eyes closed as my teeth grind
Helpless, I am
And careless, you
When you're not around
I pick specs of you off the ground
Like a fiend
And what's left of you now
Staggering into the memories
when I know they'll float away
like sailboats and getaways
Piece by piece
Into the skyline
grey and weak
But clean and porous
The waste, the mess
And I’m keeping this
you and my collapsed lungs
Ill treasure my bleeding soul
As if I couldn’t feel anything
Anything at all
They’re all keepsakes
To remind me of
Cruel You and earth and
the cold universe
And it’s buckets and baggage
Ill lie underneath just to catch
Raindrops of grief
And glass slivers of rue
And they drown
And they stick me
And I’m empty and I’m bare
But I’m full of you
And your bastardly hopes
Up to the brim, I’m spilling out
But could you please spare me,
At least,
A poor excuse for a vacuous
Clenching, desperate mettle

As winters breath gives me a shy kiss,
I sink into you.
Forgive me if I make you everything
I am not accustomed to yearning in particles,
Just in crests and great heights.
The narrowing of your hands,
Your untainted Blush,
The way you annex beams,
You hijacker, You owl.
And you come in waves,
That drown me with insistence.

Your eyes were hotels
Keeping me safe at night
At the expense of almost fastened hooks
and marrow in the folds
Something like a Transaction,
A Cartridge for a Sore
Each one of your blinks,
wafting plights through my pipe dreams
And Your lips; counterfeit salvation
Pretty presentations but lacking in procedure
Chewing on contentions before I even spoke
And Just Clear beyond the ***** of your truth
Tympanum ****** manufacture phantom lies
Determined to Scoff my psyche in a sitcom
Festering tongue shoving splinters of the former into my nail beds
Where nuzzles are necrosis and
Cloying sighs mutate into Apollyon
A mouth of ivory tacks and culpable rims
*****; Eager to siphon drums of poise to empty
And lick them clean to a drought
Coasting on exhaust
You depart from me;
Constricted tiny vessel and a plaque stuffed thought
A Rusted, Sorry Cask, flooded with idle junctures

Tears form Swarms in the Cavity of my Gut like little insects,
Playing house where you used to be.
And Underneath the viaduct
Where my dreams camp out with book bags
Jammed full of inexorable fates
Strapped to their crippled backs,
You prey and gather a stockpile of encyclopedias
About loss and what comes after
Aware of your hands, I've always been
How they complement your intentions
Picking pits into delusions like nervous tics
Knowing I'll always beg for more

Your eyes are black holes,
Concave and parallel to your Convex slanders.
The sockets fill with ghosts as
You spin galaxies of rancor across my tongue
and your thoughts are brutes
that ferment in my soul
leaving a thick film of sour solicitation
And I will taste you for millenniums
In empty bus stations and forgotten highways
In my feculent sheets after they spoil
And you will always remind me
When I eject dry heaves at 3 a.m.,
Just what it means to be alone.
As Plaintive howls hang limp like busted ankles
Pretending to be flickering stars
Their loyalty is embarrassing
And I will weep in sentences
Just as broken as me.
In syllables just as hollow
As your wearied body in my arms
On your last birthday.
I should have never caught your tears that night.
They were meant to sewer through the spaces in my fingers
I could have let them linger on your brims like death
Your cheeks were always landing strips for missiles
I would rather be deaf,
than hear the sound of your diseased sobs.

Your promises are oxidizing
And they are almost as honest as your eyes
My grin is slight
weak at the knees
that buckle and bulge
as if to mutter a dismal Plea
and beyond the creaking window
where foliage cankers
and boughs ***** buds like helpless infants
There Is You.
You that drapes Nirvana with seeds
seeds that rip and skewer and vacate like parasites
with their weeds that sprout with haste
And thou is a plague that ravages without pity
With Your Roots that reek of desperate wails
And although I am conquered
And still somewhat small
I will trudge through your vapid regrets
With celerity

The stillness saps molecules of animosity
in the bleak sunsets that stain your teeth
it is heavy and it is sullen
choking on spoonfuls of perjury
pitted sorrows trail down avenues
in the form of sunken eyelids and cheap gasps
your words seem crooked
somehow at bargain and veiled in gasoline
I am nothing when you say my name.
and these lesions are vacuous
with tiny cysts that camp out
on your tongue, with daggers
in my sheets,
wielding assaults on those phantom eyes
that I used to call my palaces
And when I reach out there is no one there
except a dense gloom
the same murk that I still feast on
the same fumes that I bloat my infant lungs with
in cities of dust
across oceans of filth
I will gawk at earth's decay
and slow dance in landfills of us