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Kelly Bitangcol Feb 2018
The people in my life are the ones who choose my lover. They gather around every 6 years, telling each other’s choices; sometimes uniting, sometimes not. You would see people arguing, saying that her choice is better than hers, saying that his choice won’t bring any good to me. However, all these arguments don’t matter in the end because in this situation, majority always wins.

I once had a lover named Mark. I will never forget my life with him. My life was filled with his austereness back then, he would always it’s for my own sake. He told me that he loved me so much, that he would do everything for me. Mark was showing signs of abusiveness that people noticed it. He made sure that the people who update our relationship would be careful, or in other ways would not criticise him and just shut up. So he abolished them and made them lose their jobs. The criticism became wider and wider, more people decided to speak up and stand against him. Mark hurt everyone who opposed of him, torture them in different ways. My children got *****, the brave ones got killed, those who fought were imprisoned, and he was stealing everything that I have. He told everyone he loved me, but he did nothing but ruin me. He left me with a wound that will never ever be healed.

People told me to move on and forgive him, but how can I move on from something that wasn’t resolved? How can I forgive him when he wasn’t apologetic of what he did, instead he was proud of it. How can I forget something that caused people to die, families be apart, my life getting stolen, and the destruction of myself?

Decades went by, people chose a new lover for me. His name is Drew, and people say he remind them of Mark. Both stern, tough, and claim they want the best for me. Drew admired Mark, and he did the similar things. He silence people who criticise him, treat women like pieces of meat that aren’t meant to be respected, **** the victims of poverty instead of helping, take the lives of innocent people away and describe them as collateral damages. He also tells all of these things are for the betterment of me. People suddenly forget our history, people continue to admire Mark and Drew and even call them my best lovers of all. They tell the people, "Love is sweeter the second time around." A wound that was never healed shows again, my body is filled with stains from the pains of the past and the present.

Yet people who love me continue to fight to fight for me. Doing everything that they can to stop things from happening again. Slowly fixing my wound and never letting it open again. You would see them on the streets shouting, or on the internet rambling. They would always ask me, “What is happening to you?”

Thousands of questions, hundreds of voices, and all those addressed for one only.

“Didn’t you learn from the past?”
“Do you want the worst for yourself?”
“Do you want your place to be filled with blood and violence?”
“You just never learn.”


They reached for me.
they shouted my name.
I was called Philippines,
*by the way.
Jonan  Jun 2013
Stomach acids
Jonan Jun 2013
You can't hide those lies behind your eyelids
Shutting them tight so you won't see the world where we live
Trusting yourself to let it loose
Between the work, the love, the life, and the self-abusiveness
Throw up those waking nightmares
As I'm the taste of bile that will always reside there
Just go ahead and face it
Those lies behind your eyes give me no form of entertainment

Sometimes it seems like you aren't even trying
Pain pills down you throat leaves you no room to fly in
Desperation makes you angry
You don't know when your dreams will set you free
This time you're going to go a little too far
From the devils your run from to the drunken dents in your car
But shut those lying eyes
So you'll never see the story end with the way that you die
Carve my charm into your arms.
seamlesslyrics Feb 2018
Though they are silent
Their tear trails tell vile stories 
Of abusiveness 

Black eyes hid behind
Rosy colored sunglasses
Hope, where there is none.

Invisible bars
Of willing participant
Codependent life

A lifetime sentence
Only they are capable
Of extinguishing
alexis hill  Apr 2017
Some Things
alexis hill Apr 2017
sometimes I wonder what it will be like
if I see another day
I wonder if this will be the last thing I say

and by the way nothing turns out
how it's planned to be

and sometimes I'm just out doin my thing
tryin to be the best version of me
even the memories raise issues I tried to shed
got too many issues trapped up inside my head

what pride and humility just might do
what praise the phase of bruises black and blue
how's the self abusiveness?
how the tired toiling in uselessness

no, I'm not impressed with the work I've done
his shadow follows me even when I tried to run

some things never turn out how
they supposed to be
I guess the only one
I can change is me

one by one I count the pills inside my hand
ones for the hurt I give myself
and one is from that man

I feel a choke in the hold
the way he used to grab for the gold
silly putty organs
and flesh that molds

molds to the palms
molds to the fist
molds to the tears
molds each time he hits

cold confusion
swept up into the night
I say I'm sorry
but i know it's just a sorry night

somethings don't turn out how they
supposed to be
I guess the only one
I can change is me

self worth is weighed
by the gram
0.5 for me
and a pound for the man

heavy sedation
it's crazy what you remember
while wake walking in a dream state
apologies for the bad dreams
and hide the good ones to escape

burn baby burn
his love looks like fire
it isn't passion
it isn't lust
it's nothing to admire

3rd degree emotional burns
the each skin is sensitive
so **** whatever's heard

the man might say
it doesn't bother me
it's only that it's haunting me
I wish he would change
but only I can set me free
jeffrey robin Mar 2015
the pain of the lover

Caused by her own willful neglect

Of her honor and dignity

In false passion's fire

                                          //       ( with thanks to Dylan Thomas ) //

After the first Disgrace

There is no other

••

••

Never shall I

Humiliate true love by

Glorifying

The careless abusiveness

That obliterates real passion and real feeling

By describing it as being devoid

Of shared commitment to Human Destiny

//                            

In the solemnity of real graves

Heroes turn over just to see

One more glimpse of THE CHILD 'S EYE

filled with the light of God

And holding ALL as lovers in

Heart and mind

••

Never shall I weep or care again

For the pain felt by

****** desire denied

When the human spirit

( whose truth is seen )

Is treated so lightly

And with such distain

••

Where nothing is learned

But how to create

Fantasies of future revenge

//

After the FIRST DISGRACE

there is no other

••

after the dying song

.......

No !

There is no other
Traveler  Mar 2020
AT LEAST TRY
Traveler Mar 2020
If you can't hold on
you'll lose yourself in stages
parts of you have already fallen behind
Try to gather yourself up
being human can be tough
abusiveness is an ugly thing
don't believe the things that you're saying
At Least Try
..........................
TT
jeffrey conyers Oct 2020
Stop it!
Stop covering up for his abusiveness.
Just stop it.
Nothing for you to be embarrassed about.

If you expose him for being one abusive spouse, lover?
Stop being his coverup?

Broken bones, busted lips, and black eyes.
And then clown **** wants to apologize.

Stop it!
Stop being his abusive tools.
Soon you are referred to as a fool.

Stop it.
Stop listening to those trying to advise you with you know he loves you?
Most advice like them comes from those that lived in your shoes.

Stop it.
Eventually, the clown might end u killing you.
And then those apologies he told you simply won't do.

There someone way much better waiting on you.

— The End —