Since we met in this life we’ve been so together
The trees and the sky will tell you, just ask them
Since, frankly and completely as one
Searching our souls, discovering each other and ourselves
Loving, living and learning with no effort at all
Moulding our life to divine goals, elements exploring
Each day we grow, smoothing our rituals and tasks
Simple, small, understated and beautiful
Yet enormous, devastating and wonderful
I’ve never been clearer in mind nor more ordered
Serious or intended, structured yet mesmerised and dreamy
Child-like pleasures our little hearts

Honestly, knowing you has given an exclusive season of patience
A crown of peace with measures of muted resonance
My emotion and behaviour  jangle with excitement
Gaining speed and velocity as our developing love fertilises everything we do
If any part of me was withheld or absent it was without cognisance or most importantly intent
I was always here totally,  loving you with an undivided heart
Building our future and having the truest most delightful life
Such destiny within two earthly beings, such kismet
But no..earth is not  from where we sprung
No logic or contract by human standards but from cosmos and celestial forces
Stardust, moonbeams, sunlight and energy

Our future is viridian, cobalt, alizarin, ultramarine, carmine...
Colours drawn from a bow of happiness with arrows of true love
Thudding into our hearts every single moment
Rainbows of kindly sparkly crystals reflecting each tiny emotion
Willow tree flexibility, cool streams of pure clear water whisper in our ears
Look to your soul and to the memories of our short time together
Begin to believe that life is so very good ,so treasured like us
Darling Jan my complete lover
The wife I’ve always had, true soul provider, custodian of my heart
Clearer in the transformation from Jan and Max to a ‘whole’ inseparable
By anyone or anything for all time and eternity..
Even better knowing that as always
Now even more.....I’m all yours

Happily self occupied, absorbed in my day now
I ponder the innocence of what I’m about,
Abstractions aside, there’s a sinister dysfunction
In gliding with Mozart and yearning to shout.
To whisper with wisdom in humourless spirit
Enables cognisance that all is not well,
To float with the Angels and dine with the Devil
Moots broaching with whales in a torment of Hell.

Oils on a canvass in broad strokes of muted
Cacophony’s clamour in tympani’s roar,
The contradiction of peaceful demeanour
When pulses ignite in a rage on the floor.

Then......
With impetus found in a midnight sonata
The calm of a full moon’s light on the face
Reason returns in a soothing dissention
Of kindness’s kiss and the luck of good grace.

This man can engender the passions required
To smooth the waters and calm the tides,
Intelligent catalyst found in a teardrop
Wherein lies the nourishment loving provides.
This man can engender the salve and solution,
Can rectify tormenting wrong in the soul,
With warmth in humanity’s lyrical laughter
In quenching the blaze of black anger's role.*

Marshalg
15 May 2014

I sensed your edginess
Clasped in my mind
Drawn with precision
Projection of tides forming
Then rising, falling in sequence
Followed by exhaustive exertions
A strain to calm the storms
All I have sensed in you..........

On the mountains of the unconditional fondness and tenderness, a flag is raised. The brightness of the skies is a continuum.In firm foundations, not withering, but thriving and yielding to the optimum. The connection was like the flickered light Einstein cocooned in. A stream from a dimension another. The  interconnection by the mind, the crown. Merging the locus of focus in consciousness and unconsciousness. A gateway that was beyond comprehension.

My antenna attuned and sequenced in synchronicity. A flow of perceptions vivid and broadcast with clarity. A feel of the web of the universe itself, the oneness of one to one to another. An augury unfolds  and foreseen precedents. The wavering, as you stagger from the solvents that imbue. Your trips suited with restraints of the thought and mind. A floodgate of inconclusiveness.

Why the sudden weigh?  You tremble in fear, wobbling with shilly-shally. Should I........ should I not? My turf lined up in cognisance. What happened to the cardinal we created? The winterly red bloom of explosive and attentive grenades. A silence of the dark permeates. Miles and miles of a mirage of gloomy inwardness.You wax and wane in surveillance. Just like the moon, you revolve in cycles.

Yet, I felt unconditioned and ecstatic. The aliveness in the nothingness. A light in the blackhole. For "romanticism" itself does not exist. It's a notion of owning, inquisition and imprisonment of another being..... never alluring. For you would know my stance of , "structure verses agency". An achievable liberation of autonomy and freedom. Whisper in my dreams as we uncover unseen dimensions.

Do become the presence of my walks. As I reflect alone be audible in the vibration of the air we breath. Trigger a magnetic feel of existence itself.Time and space is an illusion, one that does not exist. A trick of the light that acquiesces you comply. It hoovers with a whisper that 'you are getting older'...... 'you need to do this and that'. If you escape such hallucinations you can regurgitating on more responsibilities and succeed.

All puzzles in the human suffering have already been solved. Why can't you see them? Echoing your name, tapping your shoulder blade as if recognizable. One should never feel as if life is weary. There is always a need to want more, amass and make ones print. Or even depart. But being weary? Any being is able to chew as much, with pride and confidence. An interlude of imbalance will always be an interlude of imbalance.Through the century and ages this never changes. There is nothing to balance, you just need to search it deeper in yourself. Yourself is correcting. .

Irrationality often knocks my door. It seduces me, with sweet sensual word. Cajoling me to embrace normality. If only you knew what I know. A fading magical fantasy is not a fixated ideology. You are my inescapable tie and link.

Reach for your depths,
SassyJ

It's when the lights fall low,
Fall behind the mirk.
Myriad shades arise,
In the darkness of the night they lurk.

The shades your mind behold,
Your eyes, lips and heart.
In the stillness of the night,
Their blended conspiracies part.

None fail to confess,
The secrets they possess.
The secrets all men crave for,
The night, on your door it pour.

Love and it's essence,
The renaissance cognisance.
A sensation, a concealed truth,
All lie before a sleuth.

Into the nothingness you stare.
A familiar tinge you share,
With all the shades of the night.
A serene, pleasing despair.

As you pave deeper,
It spread it's arms to greet.
All the secret shades of men,
It shares every deceit.

How familiar it seem to be,
Once you surrender to the night.
Bit by bit it drips till you submerge,
In the sea of endless smite.

For far too long you've heard,
The hustle of the daylight.
Least for once hear the unheard,
Hear the silence of the night.

Tight clenched fists clinging  around the cage bars,
Hollering in agony for an end, she looks at her scars.
Her jaws wide open, yet her voice is soundless,
Numbness spreads through her body as cognisance of her weakness,
A pang of emptiness runs from her toes to her fingers,
She colapses, but the terrifying feeling of failure lingers.
Laying on the floor she wonders, she questions the reasons,
Of why the **** can't she silence her demons.

tapping on the door
filtered into my dreams
deep into my core
where life's not all it seems

it called me down from heights
shouting from afar
held on to its rights
as uncouth, loud film-star

i scraped through layer'd consciousness
caught amongst the briars
where all of matters dissonant
lusts and strange desires
memories beyond cognisance
images, ideas,
assume most hostile stance
and lie as tripping-wires

till I tumbled into renaissance
as dream like match expired,
extricat'd from barb o' lance
disoriented, groggy, tired,
as roused from petit-mal,
as babe from birth-canal.
Stumbled across the floor,
There was no-one at my door
Now, stranded on seashore
i close my eyes once more

Once, all I wanted
was to show,
to all,the person
that I can grow.

What happens really,
I ne'er was told.
Little cognisance had I,
on perils of being old.

Having grown as
I always wanted,
The child in me
keeps me haunted.

All I want now
is to play.
Tossing away all that
causes dismay!

Happiness is expansion of myself. It tests whether I'm worthy of this life's most beautiful gift. Would I value it as though it's the voice of my total being? Would I waste it? Let me park h (happiness ) not only in my heart but more in the hearts of those I love. Like a flower-bud, we as a family shall nurture it together to make it blossom into the most lovely flower. As we have blessed it, it will bless us many times more.

Let us remember those who are living in sadness on whom the warmth of sunshine has not smiled. Let us hope that some day happiness would somehow come their way for they, like the rest of mankind, equally deserve such.
There could never be too much of h. It's as rare as the most precious diamond.

The h of others sharpens the edge of our own and bonds us together in our common humanity.  This brings out our compassion and magnanimity without which we would be left wanting. With this, h shall shine as a bright light in a dark and miserable world.

How sad it is that people should take their h for granted. It's as though a close acquaintance with h has made them complacent and negligent. Then when they wake up in a time of adversity, they would be in a state of stupor and realise what they have lost.

We can't hoard h. like a commodity. Even in our best moments, we should take cognisance how fragile it could be.
H even at its brightest moment is still a contingency. Unless we are aware of this all the time, we would be left vulnerable. We should hold it dear as long as it is part of us because of this uncertainty which is the root-cause of our vulnerability.

When this were to happen, we would be sheltered somewhat because we have acquired humility in the first place. Yes, we accept with humility what befalls us during our days of adversity only to be even more humble in our days of h.

When we are mature enough to understand and accept this duality of life, we would have come a long way in our quest for self-realisation.

( to continue)