only boys hurt women's heart;

a woman's heart transcends through the elements;
her emotions amplified- her joys, her sorrows,
can fill the void of an expansive universe.
such magnitude all contained in a fist-sized vessel

we boys, usually boast that we are strong;
that we can carry the whole world over our bare
shoulders.
that one of us is worth ten ladies.
yes, we are physically able, but we are weaker
than the woman we thought we ****** over.

we boys, can never understand the strength
and resiliency of a woman.
how she can withstand a torrent of heartaches;
of being cheated, abused -  be it bruises from our fist,
our harsh words, or at times, by us;
when we forced ourselves inside her despite her protests.
how she can carry those, we can never fathom;
since if those happened to us, we can easily lose ourselves.

a woman's fight may be silent;
she may be oppressed -  but do not underestimate her,
because she can always live without a man.
and guys, if we are truly men,
never hurt a woman – because we will never be complete
without her.

My mind is a cage
holding everything I wish I could explain captive.
inside of a hell I created.

i am for a moment.

faded like dusk

a whisper

like the lingering smell of cigaretts

my touch cold like the wind in the early morning

but my skin is burning

i want to feel

but my mind wont let me

trapped in an endless cycle of self loathing

how can i be happy

i am only for a moment

haunted with the memories of happy faces

and cursed with the demands of my past

i cant keep this up my light is fading

don’t worry no one is really paying attention

walking ghosts whip around me like smoke

only to leave no trace

you are only for a moment

just as i am.

1 pill
2 pills
3 pills
4 pills
How many more till I can't feel?
Maybe 5?
Possibly 10?
Who knows..
1 cut
2 cuts
3 cuts
4 cuts
How long till I drift away?
After 5 cuts?
Maybe 6?
Probably 10
but who knows?
Who knows the pain?
Who knows the self hatred?
Who knows what it feels like to want to die?
I know, but why haven't I let go?
I can't let go of my hopes, my dreams, my family.
I can't leave them behind to deal with the pain..
I can't let them feel the way I do.
I've tried getting help, the pills don't work.
Hours of therapy and where am I?
I'm still stuck here..
Drowning in my sorrows
Feeling sorry for myself..
How long till I get better?
Who knows..

Little do you know how I'm breaking while you fall asleep,
Little do you know I'm still haunted by the memories,
Little do you know I'm trying to pick myself up, piece by piece
Little do you know I need a little more time
Underneath it all I'm held captive by the hole inside
I've been holding back for the feel that you might change your mind.
I'm ready to forgive you but, forgetting is a harder fight.
Little do you know I need a little more time

I'm simultaneously the happiest and saddest person.
And I'm still trying to figure out how that works.

I can paint lovely pictures,
With blood red ink,
The lines swirl together,
but its not what you think.

There's a twist in this story,
A tiny little sin,
My paintbrush my razor,
My canvas my skin.

My wrists cry tears,
They stain my arms red,
The blood loss and pain,
Is getting to my head.

I see black spots,
And twinkling stars,
They look like the galaxy,
A view from mars.

My walls stained crimson,
My bed splattered red,
My beautiful carpet,
Scarlet like my bed.

I regret everything,
All the things I've done,
This is why I'm doing this,
Why I'm holding this gun.

For no matter how much I try,
I can't stifle the ache and need,
I tried so hard to be perfect,
And I so nearly did succeed.

But now the torment will end,
I can finally be free,
No one can judge my imperfections,
And I can be just me.