wanted advertisement:

hi.
i'm that girl
the one who is going to **** up everything for you.
hey, how are you?
yeah i am casually always taken in, loved and cared for and then rejected.
are you interested?
i am always the cold choice.
the one without a jacket.
i am the one you will not pick.
over and over and over and over again.

i want you to choose me but why am i even a choice in the first place?
don't give me a second look
don't give me that mysterious pandoras box of hope: i don't want that feeling of escasty when my phone lights up and its you.

don't look at me again, your going to fall in love with me.
don't let me **** up your life, your redundant life of typos and empty phrases. i am a change. you don't want to change, do you?

its exhausting.
always being that risk.
always being that choice.

i don't want to ever hope again.
it always ends up in heartbreak.
i don't know why i ever expect anything else.

hi.
i'm that girl
the one who is going to **** up everything for you.
hey, how are you?
yeah i am casually always taken in, loved and cared for and then rejected.
are you interested?
i am always the cold choice.
the one without a jacket.
i am the one you will not pick.
over and over and over and over again.

i am an unwanted advertisement. don't give me a second glance, you might just ruin your life, and choose me for once.

So I have decided to be my own hero

Not because I'm a good role model
or someone to look up too

But because it will just be so much easier

My decisions won't shock me
nor will my actions

When we worship people like
John Lennon
Or
Kurt Cobain

The drug use seems so tragic
and the gunshots leave us terrified

But if its just me I won't be taken aback
By how much I have changed

And no one will care about what I do

Cuts on my wrists wouldn't be front page news and my failures will be forgotten and ignored

But most of all I think that if its me

I won't find the drug use that tragic

And the gun shots won't be that terrifying

“We” are becoming a game

A game of Hide my feelings
And Seek your touch

A game of Memory
While you memorize my curves
I memorize the curves of your smile

A game of ring around the truth
and let the thought of being together fall right down
my cheek as I cry from your words of
Guess Who doesn't love you

“We” have become that Puzzle
With the pieces that all look the same
And I’m not sure if our pieces fit together

One of those puzzles with the pieces that look like they’ll fit
But you won’t know for sure till you finish
But you aren’t sure you want to try hard enough to find out

A game where you Chute me that look
And I start to climb the Ladder
Even though I know I’m gonna have to slide back down eventually

A game where I constantly think about the sweet Candy that is you
and Land right back into reality
Knowing you’ll never get the Clue
And I’ll be the one who is Sorry
Even though I should have known you were Trouble all along

I’m starting to learn that this is Life
And the War with myself isn’t worth it
It isn’t worth
feeling like the Paper
While you are the Scissors
when really we are both stuck under this Rock

We just keep calling for Red Rover
to send sanity right over our way
so we can finally figure out the Monopoly of
Forged seduction

I’ll just continue to Go Fishing for the words
to unlock our mystery
so we can finally Connect
our Four arms together

‘We” are becoming a game
Where we are constantly Tagging
each other to be the one to say It first

A game where feelings are Cooties
and we have to Circle our brains
to find the Spot
Where we find out if we even have a Shot

You’ll just keep making me Tick
While I try to find a way
to Tack a label
Toe how I feel

Until I realise this is just Child's Play

A burden is the depression settling in around you like a rain cloud over only your head.
Walking from place to place soaking wet from the storm.
You are cold, you are sick, you are not okay.

2. A burden is the anxiety shaking your body until you feel like you might burst at the seams.
People can see that your hands won't stay still, and they stare.
You are trembling, you are scared, you are not okay.

3. A burden is the rumors your "best friend" has spread around the whole freshman class.
Secrets exposed to people you don't even know.
You are found out, you are alone, you are not okay.

4. A burden is the thought of suicide bouncing around your head.
The thought of death so good, yet so bad.
You are confused, you are conflicted, you are not okay.

5. A burden is reaching out for help and being punished.
No longer allowed to talk to those they told you would help.
You are lost, you are unprotected, you are not okay.

6. A burden is not a student who has experienced 1-5.
A  student who yearns so much to get better, and just keeps getting pushed down.
A student who is terrified, who is lonely, who is not okay

7. You called yourself a mental health professional.
But 8. would never deal with this student yourself.
and 9. called her a burden to the entire campus.

But the campus is unaffected, the campus is stable, and the campus is okay.

So did you mean the campus would be better off without me?

Or that you would?

I know i wont be seeing you anymore