Not dead,
yet slowly dying.
But you can't fault me
or blame me
for trying.
And I'd be lying:
if I said I didn't miss her,
Or that I didn't want to kiss her
again.
But it's too late for that now.
Too much sorrow.
Too much pain.
She gets on fine without me
so why can't I do the same?

I don't know.
And doubt I'll ever.
It went by so fast,
when we were together.
Now I'm stuck here,
alone,
in the cold rainy weather.
Wondering whether
you even think of me at all.
If you're feeling as I feel
or you're standing up tall.
I wonder a lot.
Wondering if I should call
only to be put on hold.
All my life I've waited
and now
I've already grown
far too old.

I remember now why I forget.
Killing me slowly
like smoke from your cigarette.
Filling me from the inside.
Invading me
poisoning me.
A little mistress of death
I wish I had never met.

Tossed into the muddy reservoir of bad choices.
You are the words coming back to haunt me.
You are those voices.
I am all the times you thought you knew better;
I am the constant reminders.
I am the torn up love-letter.

The unread magazines that hide your drawings.
The bitter, black coffee
that picks me up in the mornings.
The way the sun comes out earlier this time of year;
And how the rain comes and hides, and obscures
the tears.
The hello's and goodbye's,
forced
and insincere.
And the voice that whispers:
"It's alright,
have no fear."
And the other voice that whispers other things
I'd rather not hear.

I am all the decisions you wish you hadn't made.
You are every note,
out of tune
or misplayed.
You are the soundless symphony;
the forgotten serenade.

You are the one I haven't met yet.
The rising of the moon
and the falling of the sun set.

I am the poems never read,
and the songs never sang.
I am door never opened;
the telephone that never rang.

We were the story never told,
and the feelings never shared.
The ones that didn't live to ever grow old.
The empty box, written with the words
"Handle with care."

Like a flame
I am extinguished
I was fire, I was light
But I let my smoke rise too high
Now I am darkness
Cold and afraid
I cling to the memory
Of what I once was