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The ticking of the clock leaves me on edge
Another second wasted, trapped inside these bare walls
I am getting better, am I?

I no longer desire the rush in my veins
I desire, no, I crave fresh oxygen to the brain
I can't breathe, I can't breathe
These walls are closing in
This is the price I pay for the ultimate sin

I've fallen ill from my own sickness
My candle is burning at both ends
I never thought I would have to bring myself to this place again
But here I am now
And here you are not
I asked to to remember me, and you almost forgot
Scribbled in rehab.
Sarah C Allen Jun 2014
Hello, can you hear me?
Lately it seems that
I’m always the one standing here
Waiting for you to say
Those words of love, for attention
In reply to my precious words
Repeatedly, I’ve said them lately
Yet you haven’t said them at all
I always have to **** or poke you
Or think of something fascinating to say
Just hoping to catch your eye
I might be yours, but still
Do you ever think of me throughout your day?

Shrugging me off and not saying a word
Hurts a little, each and every time you do so
Busy bee you may be
But you said I was a priority
Yet it seems I have been left behind
Lately you only want to talk or pay attention to me
When it’s convenient for you
I'm a human being, don't you see
I feel for you more than you know

Realize that even just a couple of words
From you fills me with complete glee
I strive to keep you happy
Whenever I need you
Many times throughout a day
When I feel tired and lonely
All I want is you to comfort me
I just want your love, so please…
Could you say something?
Love me just a little more, keep me in your heart

Give me some of your time please
I've been patient, but I can't wait forever
Putting in the effort is your job too
I'm tired of feeling like a fool
Just for needing you

Tell me you love me, it's all I want to hear
Those words of sweetness
Let them fall from your lips
Caress my cheek with your fingertips
Look me in the eye and don't flinch
If only I knew the price I'd pay
Living the same cycle day by day
The blood in my veins would soon run cold
The spark in my heart would abandon my soul
The comfort of my skin would wear away
The color of my city would turn to gray
The blood in my head would drain from my nose
Spending dime after dime left me out in the cold
If only I knew that I just had to try
Doses became higher
And so did I
Till I finally screamed, threw myself on the floor
I punched
I kicked
Couldn't take it anymore
Dose after dose
I couldn't see from my eyes
I laid on my back and looked up at the sky
If only I knew it was all part of the ride
Just a bunch of ****** up kids
With bloodshot eyes
Chasing our drinks instead of the sun
Only God knows the battle I've won.
Very first poem.
Sarah C Allen Jun 2014
I stood there

And swallowed my pride like a pill

Which was more like a heavy lump

Slowly sliding down my throat

With a fake smile plastered on my face to hide my discomfort

I stared at you as you uttered the words I never wanted to hear

“I think we’re better off as friends”

I wanted to laugh in disbelief

But I was frozen with shock

As I realized

My day dreams of you are now pointless

And the hope for something more I once had

Has no basis because you took the possibility away

I refused to let you know that I was hurt

Because I didn’t want to be vulnerable in front of you

Anymore

You don’t deserve that from me, I thought

I can’t keep baring myself to you

It isn’t fair to me

Because you run away every time I try to open you up

Even though you should know by now

That I wouldn’t hurt you

But I can’t force you to try or to trust me

So I’ll just take a breath for now and let it be

~S.C.A.
Sarah C Allen Jun 2014
The future of warfare
Technology is different but the mentality is the same
Human beings will continue to be slain
But people will do anything to claim
That we need them
Because profit is the benefit of fear
We’re told to fear those “terrorists”
When truthfully that word doesn’t mean ****
They’re different from us, sure
But that doesn’t give us the ******* right to
Claim that every single one of them is a murderer
Aiming these weapons at them just makes us what we’re trying to claim
They are
Politicians will tell you it’s just protecting our “security”
When all it does in reality is make us less safe
They see us the way we see them
This is a big problem and this is why war exists
Assumptions, stereotypes, and *******
Made to sound pretty and patriotic by militaristic dipshits
Isn’t it time we learn that the line between enemy and fellow citizen
Is one that doesn’t really exist
The only difference between them and US
Is location and the names on a map
Their culture or religion doesn’t make a difference
None of it gives us a right to point a drone at them and go “zap”
Let’s start a conversation
Before we have another useless war
They’re just as human as we are

— The End —