Francis

Francis Sep 2016

Wasted energy beyond the perception of gloom,
I carry a large burden upon my shoulders, like a boulder waiting for my spine to collapse,
Though now I seem as if I am without a spine.
I am weakened by the very inkling of depression inside of me,
Yet I cannot seem to cry.

Crying is your mind's way of telling you that you're human.
But I cannot decipher the idea of me grasping any humanized traits,
Since I let my emotions eat away at my own self-empathy.
I lay down in silence,
My insides screaming in pain.

I suppress these urges I get just aching to drive me to madness,
When it is my own person that has to deal with the stress.
I find myself dreaming of dreams that cannot be reached.
I am nearly an adult,
And all I feel like is a naive child,
twiddling his thumbs in his own little world.

I pray that I discover a way that I can feel joyous,
With people that share interests in similarity.
I am a young man with rare characteristics,
Finding such a person would be strenuous.

Uncanny it is for me to speak words like so,
It boggles my mind to uncertainty.
I've cried a lot through my hand,
Not my eyes,
And my poor pencil has grown exhausted from my depression.

I think I've written enough about depression.

#depression #sadness #cry

Francis Sep 2016

Purgatory: The Hurdle to Heaven

Our father, who art in Heaven...
Let my soul be punished for my sins.
You've given me countless chances to redeem the spirit of good that I am sure is in me somewhere.
I've stolen plenty as much as I've hurt those who've loved me.

To me,
I am a grotesque entity waiting to be exiled from thy Kingdom of God before I even arrive.
Spare me, as I deserve not what I receive,
And what I receive in this world,
All men would only wish for.

Kindly shine light on this darkened spirit,
Rebooting the blessings I aim to sprinkle upon my loved ones.
I hold great remorse for my sins.
Suffering,
Will only drive me to bitterness.

Though I should be kissing the feet of the lord for my actions,
My heart cannot seem to take,
This punishment that I do in fact deserve.
My weakness proves my inability to warrant a spot in the clouds of white.

Praying for myself to understand morality,
But instead I conduct the finale of my being.
Nothing but gruesome mortality,
It is I who has to pay for the decisions that I have made.

Forgive me, Lord,
I mustn't whine and plead my fragility.
My last living words were asking of your forgiveness,
And I shall receive it when my dues have been paid.

To take one's life is a mortal sin,
But to take one's own life is much more sinister.
For a deficiency in gusto of this life that we are given,
I now realize that living was simplistic, compared to what I've been dealt in Purgatory.

The emotional stress I've encountered,
Knowing that I have wronged you, Lord,
Has proven that I am worthy of a second chance in the afterlife,
As it is your duty to forgive and let the souls of your creation be pardoned of their sins once they have repented them.

Fortunately, I have never lost faith in your practice.
With great power comes great responsibility.
To be responsible for such a soul as I,
It is truly a burden too heavy to bare.

Love me for what I am,
Train me for what I should be.
Death is just the beginning of a new journey,
A journey through Heaven and it's everlasting enchantment.

Purgatory is not evil,
But saddening it is to me.
No man enjoys the reminder that he's done wrong,
But Purgatory shall set my soul free,
Free of my sins.

In the name of the father,
The son,
And of the Holy Spirit.
Amen.

God loves you.

#poetry #sin #life #religion #death #forgiveness #repent

Francis Sep 2016

Wicked Woman

The Wicked Witch from Woodhaven,
It's quite an obstacle being your offspring.
Never have I been so self hating more when I listen to your heart-knifing words and unsympathetic demeanor.

Undermining my warm and graciousness as if I am some ant just waiting to be burned by sunlight through your magnifying glass,
I pray that some day you will change.
But a person so mentally unstable cannot change,
As you have passed those genes down unto me.

You have me riding some emotional rollercoaster at a carnival that Goblins should attend,
And not the normal, lively human soul.
Thankfully, I've decided to go elsewhere.
But the clowns that you call ailments won't allow me to leave.

I vow to change my ways, aiming to stand up to such an evil and love-deviating woman,
Yet your words freeze me up like your mouth is Antartica,
And your brain is scolding due to your visit to your throne in Hell.

I've suffered many tragedies inside my own mind,
Sad songs that are on repeat.
Carelessness and forgetfulness has brought me to decrease my envy of you.
You've devoured the confidence of your once favorite child for more times than he can count on both hands,
And both feet,
Twice.

I can appreciate the fact that you've raised me,
As it is nearly impossible to raise such a troublesome child.
Though wishing you had never even birthed me in the first,
I hold you responsible to why I am subdued.

Nurture has been long forgotten,
Since I had last treasured it so.
A mother's love is all that is good and holy,
But what is it worth to Satan?
You would know,
Since he is in fact, your creator.

Wicked Witch,
Stubborn *****.
How awful these words sound to me.
They come out in frustration as you lead me to temptation,
And insecure I shall always be.

Crotchety old ghoul,
You've treated me like a fool,
For far too long I've counted.
Everlasting therapy is in order,
And forever you and I will be separated,
Separated by a border, That I have built,
In order to salvage some sort of a stable mind.

Kindly accept my creed to await,
The finalizing version of myself.
I've longed for such mortality,
Due to your immorality,
As guardian of my unnatural life.

I love my mother very much. But we're only human. Blew off some steam.

#drama #mom #slam #slampoetry

Francis Sep 2016

The Bird

Continuous peeps from a bird landed on my windowsill,
Music fluently sounding through the beak of this winged creature.
Oh how noisy true beauty can be,
Leaving the world to withhold more elegance than Mother Nature intended.
An amendment I possess to bare arms as I wish,
I cocked my twelve gauge and blew it the **** away because I want to sleep in on Saturday and the bird kept waking me up.

How many people love nature but sometimes get annoyed by it?

#beautiful #nature #reality #comedy

Francis Sep 2016

Nightmare

Blood dripping from my bathroom faucet,
Shaking from ominous waves of insanity,
Petrified by horrific sounds of screams,
Only to realize that they are my own.

Puddles of red at my bare feet,
Leading a trail of it to my bathtub.
Expecting a corpse unknown to my eye,
But all I see is myself lying still.
My eyes and mouth are as wide as the wounds to my throat,
My heart is clearly visible,
Coincidentally on my sleeve.

A manifestation of evil appearing as a human,
A demonic entity it turns out to be.
Teeth as sharp as impaling spikes,
With serrated flesh dripping blood from it's gums.
The sense of determination can be shown through it's shaded eyes,
An act aimed for evil is in motion.

Wind zooming through the atmosphere outside,
As rain falls down from above.
Lightening strikes the tree adjacent to my bathroom window,
The demonic entity has disappeared.

My strength to hold this bravery I cannot seem to discover has weakened,
Rain drops ****** as the sliced flesh of my wrists,
Standing in confusion, my fear begins to escalate.
I am dying,
But I have the most life I could ever encounter flowing inside of me,
Projected as fear.

Fear is the distant cousin of shame,
But facing evil there is no shame.
For I am lost in a world of death,
All I can see is fog before my eyes.
The devil has risen,
Risen from inside of me.

Canines lacking the emotion of being timid,
They can feast on the rodents at my toes.
This bathroom is what I consider as hell,
But purgatory it seems to be,
Foreshadowing my everlasting throne in an area surrounded by flames.

Death seems inferior to what I'm about to experience,
As ****** could be exhilarating once more before I become a prisoner of my own psyche,
The devil himself has claimed.

Waking up in cold sweats of heat,
I struggle to catch myself, failing to catch my breath.
I've lost the ability to wonder,
As this nightmare slowly fades away

I have no idea what this is about but I wrote it and I liked how it flows.

#death #evil #devil #nightmare #horror

Francis Sep 2016

The Soldier

Marching up the hill with his fellow troops,
His insides are ready to burst with anticipation.
Growling and bubbling, his stomach seems to sound off as his hands quiver holding his rifle.
The soldier cannot turn back, as he must fight for his freedom against evil,
Though the art of having a choice has been long forgotten.

This soldier knows not of his fate.
He's petrified of what is to come,
Whether he survives or not.
If he dies,
He dies with honor,
yet he's not afraid of dying.
He's afraid of being forgotten.
If he survives,
He survives with honor,
Not expecting of a soul to recognize the sacrifice he has made for his own,
And failing to discover it as he lives on.

His beliefs are meaningless,
His pride is no longer relevant.
What requires quality is the strength to fight,
To fear no man aiming to take away his freedom,
And his life.

Facing what can be assumed as evil,
Yet never needing to know what true evil is really like.
The soldier has seen evil,
Evil awaits again willingly.
But he is not afraid.

This is more like it

#freedom #life #strength #evil #america #soldier #military #solidarity

Francis Sep 2016

Little Girl

Snarly and ferocious, this dreadful child has been gifted to me.
At age 3, I was cursed with a responsibility to protect and mentor this devilish girl.
Fourteen years of pure evil and malignancy drives my mind to a state in which no man should ever have to feel.

My heart shrieks with vengeance as she so deliberately tries to inflict pain on it.
My conscience refrains me from doing the harm she does to me,
Reminding me that I am the bigger person.

Little girl, you devious and vicious soul,
I've dreaded the very day I first glanced upon your face.
As your ruthlessness and your carelessness towards other people causes heartache,
When words fly out of your mouth.

You sadistic young twit,
I must correct you for your behavior.
But I hold no authority to do so,
Yet I have been branded your guardian ever since the devil himself has spawned you.

I listen and feel for your struggles, I do.
So I must question why you don't respect mine?
Is life all about you, little girl?
Or is it you just find joy in driving me to insanity?

No longer will I entertain these loathsome conflicts,
As you are my unchosen inferior.
I will fight the urge to play your game,
And find the humor in your desire to leave me discouraged.

Little girl, you silly child.
One day you will be mournful,
When the time comes where I will not be present,
And you will nevermore have me to fulfill your barbarous needs.

I love my sister to death, but sometimes she gets me so frustrated!

#poetry #drama #hurt #family #slam