so happy
so happ
so hap
so ha
so h
so
s
su
sui
suic
suici
suicid
suicida
suicidal

sometimes
i want to
s c r a t c h  m y  s k i n  o f f
peel it off my body
in a desperate attempt
to set free the
self-hatred and anxiety

sometimes
i want to
t a k e  a  k n i f e  t o  m y  f a t
carving it away
shaping my body
into something
that won't disgust me

sometimes
i want to
s t a r t  o v e r
take an unforgiving blade
to the girl i used to be
run away until my lungs burst
and i'm finally set free

You had yet to discover that you were polyamorous
and I was purely monogamous
but we were in love

I just wanted you
but you wanted others
as well as me

When we first met
you looked at me as if I were the only person
that sees the world as you do

After years of beautiful memories
your eyes no longer looked at me that way
and you broke my heart as well as my trust

But instead of seeing yourself as a cheat
and begging for forgiveness
you asked me to accept this new side of you

Polyamory...
am I terrible for not being open minded enough
to accept this new and mysterious concept?

Because I can't help but see it as
a pathetic excuse
for you to hide behind
instead of facing the truth