when your body burnt to ashes-

I stopped believing that God was real
If He was real, why weren't my prayers answered
Why wasn't all my tears on New Years Eve accounted for
Why wasn't I even gifted enough to say goodbye one last time

I stopped believing love is real
It wasn't strong enough to keep you from leaving
It wasn't true enough to make you last one more night
Everything I had grown to love was built on a lie

when my friend fell into pieces-

I stopped believing that strength is real
If you could fight all the years of pain, why was this one any harder?
If he was tough as steel, why did the tears run down his face?
Everything I had grown to believe was built on a lie

I stopped believing in promises
You said you loved each other and then you both hated each other
You said I would get better and yet I find myself thinking of a million different ways I could take away all of this
Everything I had tried to put my faith in, was a lie


This life is nothing, and I am nothing.
I have nothing to lose and I give up.

*Death, you win.

you've grown up
with the notion
that you're at fault
for all your flaws

you've convinced yourself
that your shoulders
are an okay place
for other people's problems to fall

you've got this twisted idea
that you're responsible
for other's mistakes,
that somehow you're the one to blame

           you've got it all wrong

you should never apologize
on behalf of other's actions
that's like saying sorry
for being too compassionate

your heart is as real
as the sun in the sky
your mind is just evil
an enemy telling you lies

don't fall for any of it
look in the mirror
wipe away all your tears
and tell yourself, always:

it's not your fault
it's not your fault
it's not your fault

*it is not your fault