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Rhianecdote Dec 2015
I have made my peace
With all that is fleeting

The ships will sail
To where they're meant to be

Time will run as it always has
But it shall not run from me

I will not stand and watch as they go
I will not give chase as they leave

Time will run
And ships will sail

But I will go my own way to see
What awaits me

I will be left
Though not alone

But Smiling

With all the memories
That accompany me
Life is but a series of moments.

I heard a song recently and it pulled me into a kind of reverie that I haven't had for some time. It transported me to those moments we have in life, precious ones where you almost take a step out of yourself to appreciate it fully. You know that it is going to come to an end but that doesn't matter because it is in these moments that you can say with a certainty   "I know happiness and I am eternally grateful for it."

Kodaline- Love like this (Acoustic)
  Nov 2015 Rhianecdote
Teo
I’m always picking up on the vibes that I don’t like
Get that feeling in my stomach that says something’s not right
It’s oh so very awkward and I don’t know what to say
There’s nothing I can do is there? **** this, I’m not okay

I’m dealing with disappointment; seems to me I deal too much
And I’m fighting back the sorrow, but I can’t hit hard enough
I just shrug my broken shoulders, then lie down and go to sleep
While the pain stabs me again, through flesh and bone so deep

I guess I just can't be your Darcy, you poor Elizabeth
Cause I’m not in your heart, see? Guess I've got nothing left
So I’ll leave you to your books and I’ll leave without my soul
I swear I’ll never read again if you want me to go

I guess I couldn't show you how warm I would've made your bed
I guess I couldn't hold you, write a poem you should’ve read
You thought libraries were quiet? Out in space, silence is bolder
And you thought you were cold? Well, I was ready, space is colder

I guess you never wanted to see the only star-
That I’ll ever reach, the others are too far
And you never wanted to share in each others lives
So guess I’ll just sit here, reaching for the sky

You’ll be in your library; I’ll be out ******* up
You could reach the sky, baby, but I never had good luck
You shouldn't ever be afraid and I just don’t give a ****
You’ll be the one in books one day, I’ll be another broken man

It makes me feel so numb, the fact it’s really all the same
This time was just like all the others, you just had another name
And it makes me feel so sick; it’s ******* hopeless isn't it?
Guess I’ll have to deal till I can get drunk and just forget

And in my lonesome dreams you’ll be my angel on the moon
I wasn't good enough for you, or to walk on Martian dunes
So I'll just drown myself in rocket fuel and you get to be the flame
No, don't look at it like suicide, it's my 15 minute fame...
Rhianecdote Nov 2015
So I'll throw stones,
cause I can already see the cracks.
Aim for them and brace myself
for all that's hailed back
Cause sometimes the best way
to see who you really are
is to see what you do under attack
I won't rely on glass to protect me,
I'll have my own back 
Shatter my own shell
Be rid of false Fragility,
Free all the ability
With the agility
Gained from the shield I now lack
There comes a time when every Mime must escape their glass box.
Haha I just clocked this is the same as another poem of mine...Finding Dory moment ... Oh well
Rhianecdote Nov 2015
Sometimes I put my headphones in
No music playin
Just to muffle out the background noise
Of all they're sayin ,
all the empty conversation
I'm secretly sat here craving
From Better days when
This paranoia wasn't constantly
Invading my brain and
I could entertain it
Sit here without fear
Cause I was going somewhere
With people I could call friends
Without questioning motivations

Unquestioning motivation
Faltered
Now sleign , altered
And warped by blame
checked into the Awk-ward
I wait in urgency
hoping This was no accident
And I'll imerge and see
The bigger picture
Fat-e
But for now I shrink
Violently
Weight droppin off of me
still feelin heavy
Propped up on this bus seat
Weighing up whether
I should miss my stop
Cause I'm not sat near the bell
And God forbid I ask someone for help

Cause then they'd have to look at me

But don't look at me,
Don't you dare look at me!
I can't face you today
I can't even face me
That's why I don't take a window seat
And you have to begrudgingly
Shimmy past me to take yours
Or walk past to the back
Silently cursing me

I wish you'd sing instead
I've got no music playin
Clear my head
lend an Ear-nestle next to me
Did I not earn your earnesty?
If I've got your back
Won't you back me?
Or will I turn round
Reach out
Only to find your shadow stretchin
Out of reach
Like a weary soul-dier
you take your leave...

I try to shake mine off
Anxietree
Break some branches,
Tryin to get free
Oh-live!
They Silently scream
But I'm struggling
To even make it off my seat
Go live
In three
But I can no longer perform
Go on without me
Forget me
Only thing on the way up
Is mum's spaghetti!
Need some Bob Marley
Get up, stand up
But my legs won't let me!
Musics off
So it's down to me
Get up, stand up
Used to be so easy
Get up stand up

Your bus stop is here

No music playin in my ear
But right now I could do
With a mellowdy
When ringing the bell on the bus  becomes a struggle! Maybe I should start carrying my own haha!
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