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Lifes tragically hard
more things going wrong

Sometimes I do wonder
how sorrowful
the lyrics would be
if written as a song

A song of great love
and trust

Of passion

Of illness  
and fear

Of anger
and heartbreak
over the one I hold dear

What sad lyrics they'd be
If my life with you
were a song
 Sep 2018 Renard Jackson
When to grab I'm not sure
Not when Time is tariff
Barely making of Future's contour
Space and fate in Miscellany

But perhaps I Must grab,
for that remaining Flickering seconds--
before Regret stabs my back
of once-in-a-blue-moon's Wasted Opportunity
Opportunity is given at the right time-- grab it.
,how do you know when
(a human is too broken?)


human too broken?

like the light bulb, removal from its fixture, a simple shaking revelation of the tinkling filament spent, something that cannot be repaired, the only option is replacement and that makes
you cry

the empty box of oatmeal raisin cookies, you find secret’d,
hid by you, not to be found by you
at the bottom of the kitchen garbage,
but box betrayal, by the chartreuse tipped box lid sided
peeking upwards, asking, silencing screaming,
what did I do to deserve
this degrading

like the blouse now too tight that it brings stares as the buttons strain, unwelcome attention unintended,
you know it but still pretend not to see,
for you both once loved that silky guise that so
heightened the high tender, the match of your pink rose skin letting, no! making
your eyes glisten, like broken filament glass, on the sidewalk,
recalling the pleasured admiration,
rain remembered from the
prior priority of a life consisting of only
perfect gifts

so mean revert to the poseur question; this is how...

remove the human from a fixed place, whimpering-threatened,
you may hear clear the crackle cackling  of the innard shards against the misperception of a body intact,
even if you do,
no repair service you want,  can be found, see it nowhere,
is it even
anywhere advertised?

the body presumed intact is secret’d under a tactile coverlet,
holey scupperrd holy cuttered
so that the cells and bicuspids, the threads
no longer function in a tandem,
you keep it in the closet closed,
in the back, deep hid, where,
when it screams why,
it can be safe ignored,
because  ‘betrayed’ is no longer a word,
in your globe's dictionary,
the parental controls activated by you to
save your own inner child’s unconstrained confusion,
it has been removed

so the broken glass, the clothes you dressed each other,
if not weep-well,
well enough hid,
the fit is off,
the fit is off,
the coverlet ripped so bad and neither cares
an unexpected poem, unplanned, needing work
aug 4-5
I can’t breath.
Your holding a pillow over my face,
and call it love.
I am not quite sure when you and me
became we, and us and ours.
You talk about forever
and I listen, halfheartedly.
While watching your lips move,
I plan ways of escaping.
You were too much
and yet, still not enough.
After awhile I questioned
why I was holding on so tight.
I held on until my fingers ached
and calluses formed,
and it no longer felt right.
I was choking on the silence
of all the words I wasn’t saying.
Slowly my heart became a tomb
and you, the mourner.
I am truly and deeply sorry for your loss.
They called me in to a room unfamiliar
air smelling of guilt
A vase of roses left to die on the table
"take a seat" there voices distant

I know why I am here
They do not approve of my actions
heart pounding
"we just want to ask you some questions"
I do not have your answers my mind screams out

They believe I am guilty of a crime
I believe i was helping my melting mind

"your test was positive, your actions could hurt someone"
They can't understand my actions saved someone
No one notice's when your saving yourself
One puff to ease my thoughts
One puff to them causes death
Little do they know it prevented mine

Take this pill and that pill, "It will fix you"
No thank you doc i'll stick to natures crop

Synthetics are safe says the man with a certificate on his wall
Corruption is everywhere, lies upon lies

I am in trouble for smoking a plant
He's a business man for creating addiction
I pay a fine for feeling fine for the first time tonight
He receives money for causing another to suffer a helpless plight

"Are you sorry for what you did?"
Can they hear what they just said?

I wont apologise for helping myself
I wont give in to money and decpetion
you have all be led into inception!
   layer under
         layer under
              layer of wrongful perception
Stop fighting natural progression
Let me be me, I'll let you be you.
This is a opinion piece on cannabis if you greatly disagree i respect that and me no offence. I have seen it used and used it myself for medical reasons with great results. I would never push its use on someone else but i do not believe it should be illegal for it has such good benefits with the right knowledge and careful use. I am aware it has had negative impacts on others and I do not wish to cause any harm only to express how it has effected me and how the medical system is often corrupt, prescribing all manner of synthetic drugs causing more harm then good.
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