Why am I not Happy?
I live a good life.
Good Friends,
Good family,

Good everything.

I'm not hungry
I'm not worrying about my medicine
I have a roof over my head.

But why am I not happy then?

Is it because of that whispering thought
Your friends think your annoying
Your parents are tired of you
You're ugly.

And you feel even sadder.

But then that other voice pipes in.
What are you doing!?
Why are you feeling so sorry for yourself?!

And you become guilty

What are you doing?!
You have a house and clothes
Food and medicine
Stop moping around!

And you feel even worse

You start aching
When you walk
And when you breath

And you become tired.

And soon, crying is every day
You can't tell anyone
And soon you feel the worst part
Of this vicious *****

Now you're alone.

i hope i left a gap in your life
the way losing a tooth leaves a hole in your mouth
and you keep running your tounge over
where it used to be

These last few days have left me fraught,
a plethora of words is what I sought,
but darkest thoughts made me weep,
midnight interludes, trying to sleep,

tried to hide in a box of pills,
buried under a pile of quills,
darkness engulfed my spark of desire,
sat on the top of a funeral pyre.

Some moments are not to be captured
not in a photo
not in a story
not anywhere
Some moments should only live in a memory

fake smiles
empty eyes
filling up
on tired lies
don't you see
i'm almost done?
trapped in sadness
i can't run