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Smudged Ink Aug 2014
i don’t sleep much anymore
my thoughts keep me awake longer than they should

the days seem longer now
stretching into the night ahead of me

i am left wondering who is still up
am i the only one who can’t find rest

when's the point that i am so exhausted
that i can find relief

my mind seems to be in two places
transferring from one to the other to stay awake

where there once was peace and dreams
there is now unrest and daydreams

as the nights grow longer
i am here wondering if they will get shorter
to a place that is acceptable
so i can find relief from being awake
Smudged Ink Aug 2014
i was in a place i don't want to go back to
it was full of dark stormy clouds

i felt like i was in a small room
the walls continuously moving in

the world was no longer in color
it was in grays and blacks

i was losing who i was
slowly and all at once

it's where i was, but that's just it
it's where i was

i am no longer there
  Jul 2014 Smudged Ink
Amanda Kyara
I hate you.

I hate you for what you did to me.

I hate you for making me write about you.

I hate you for making me love you

I love you

I love you for caring about me

I love you for filling my thoughts

I hate you for loving me
Smudged Ink Jul 2014
my blue eyes are an oceans tide
they are both the calm and the storm

my blue eyes to some are just blue
but looking closer you will find much more

behind my eyes is a story
one that has been kept in for years

behind my eyes are secrets
that have been waiting to get out

these eyes see the world in a different way
making pictures into thoughts
and putting people into boxes

these eyes are not what they should be
and they are not what they appear to be

to some people my blue eyes are beautiful
to me they just remind me of what’s inside
Smudged Ink Jul 2014
i am alone
totally and completely
it wasn't like this before

i had so much attention recently
slowly i was trying to pull away
i was crumbling under all of it

i'm not used to people seeing me
i'm the invisible one
i'm the one no one pays attention to

i cut off my hair thinking it was time for a change
the only thing i feel is more vulnerable
i don't have my shield anymore

so here i am, alone,
waiting for somebody to save me
when all i do is push people away
thoughts from last night
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